The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Her Husband ‘Seemed Sensitive, Kind, Intelligent, Liberal, and Feminist . . .’

Posted on | March 28, 2016 | 67 Comments

Oh, that was a very bad omen, really. It is difficult for me to imagine what a “feminist” husband would be, considering that for more than four decades, feminists have argued against marriage, per se.

Exactly why would a feminist want a husband? This is the great riddle.

Fish don’t need bicycles and feminists don’t need men. Such was the doctrine proclaimed by Gloria Steinem, anyway, but nevertheless some women ignore these contradictions and thus, sadly, we have the phenomenon of The Feminist Man. These seem so rare they may be entirely mythical — unicorns, minotaurs, mermaids, Feminist Men.

In theory, a relationship based on a radical egalitarian ideology seems possible. However, feminism’s doctrinaire belief that men and women are fundamentally the same (androgynous) and that there are no natural distinctions between them, inevitably raises the question, “Why”?

That is to say, if men do not possess any specifically masculine traits or characteristics that she admires, why does she associate with him? What purpose does The Feminist Man fulfill? What is his value to her?

According to feminist theory, masculinity is an artificial product of patriarchy, socially constructed by the gender binary within the heterosexual matrix. The male has no essential raison d’être in the feminist scheme of things. He is entirely useless and irrelevant and it is impossible to imagine how a woman who finds males attractive — desirable and perhaps even necessary — could call herself a “feminist.”

Nevertheless, despite these ideological contradictions, The Feminist Man is alleged to exist, and here is the tale of a woman who married one:

I lived happily — blissfully unaware how happily — for 14 years with a man who seemed sensitive, kind, intelligent, liberal, and feminist. We were deeply in love and the kind of couple people looked up to. My marriage was permanent; it defined my future. Two years ago, I would have told you we were unshakable. I couldn’t imagine a scenario that could break us up. My husband was also, to all outward appearances, happy. He enjoyed life and was uniquely easygoing and content. Those qualities made him a joy to chat with, to vacation with, and to live with.
Then my husband woke up one day feeling a little “gender-fluid.” Within three months he developed the conviction that he was a woman and he “came out” to everyone he knew. . . .
He cried because someone “misgendered” him. He cried because his shoulders were too broad for his new dress. He cried because he couldn’t completely eradicate the stubble on his face. He cried because his new habit of flipping his hair back with a limp wrist had gotten him mistaken for a gay man. . . .
He got counseling and joined support groups, where he “learned” that he was “literally” a woman, and not just someone who identified as one. He announced to all comers that he’d found his “true self” and had become “happy” for the first time in his life. His alleged happiness didn’t stop him from spiraling into an even deeper despair. He became suicidal. He was prescribed antidepressants. He adopted bizarre beliefs and became hysterical if anyone questioned them.
All interests were abandoned for endless monologues about transgender rights and his “gender identity.”

Yeah, she married The Feminist Man, and when he turned out to be not actually a man at all — well, she was deeply hurt by this. She searched online forums of other women who had gone through a similar trauma:

This is just the transgender experience. Narcissism, sexual dysfunction, partner neglect, childishness, temper tantrums, lack of impulse control. Tell me again why this is a normal human variation?
It didn’t matter that I thought my marriage was stronger than most, that I thought that my husband was smarter and kinder than most. This was my inevitable trajectory.

Inevitable? Well, if you find The Feminist Man attractive — so “sensitive”! so “kind”! so “liberal”! — what do you really expect? Somewhere behind that “easygoing” façade, your husband was slowly losing his mind as he gazed into the abyss of existential despair. To repeat: The male has no essential raison d’être in the feminist scheme of things.

Feminism is a philosophy that declares men to be utterly useless. It is astonishing how so many women are eager to advocate “equality” — i.e., the eradication of all social distinctions between male and female — and yet do not follow this argument to its logical conclusion.

“Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools . . .”
Romans 1:22 (KJV)

Once a society embraces certain ideas — syncretistic paganism, for example — the descent into madness is really just a matter of time.



67 Responses to “Her Husband ‘Seemed Sensitive, Kind, Intelligent, Liberal, and Feminist . . .’”

  1. Liza
    March 29th, 2016 @ 11:40 pm

    No I don’t . This is just what I gleaned from my childhood of horrors being raised in the LGB community. I am one of the COGs (adult children of Gays) who as an aside, really tried to tell SCOTUS–bad idea bad bad. And what did we get for our troubles–lost jobs and death threats, harassed and bullied.

    So The movement in America The feminist movement as I see it was not a descendent of the 1st wave but rather a riff on gay rights and sexual freedom–that comes from gay rights. “The Mattachine Society, founded in 1950, was one of the earliest homophile (gay rights) organizations in the United States, probably second only to Chicago’s Society for Human Rights. Harry Hay and a group of Los Angeles male friends formed the group to protect and improve the rights of gay men.”

    The female counter part–Gertrud Stein in Paris, Virginia Woolf. The distinction is the whole “sexual freedom”. The Betty Friedan feminism was way behind the Lesbians and not accepted by them. Then the straight feminist crowd became more mainstream in the 60’s and overtook the lesbians. They are all toxic–very damaging ideologies–in my opinion. They are different versions of disfunction and cruelty and being punitive. The ideologies create brittle people who hate the world because it does not consider them as much as they consider themselves. They also create people who can’t live in the world well–I do not know why it is just my observation that these ideologies make people crazy and attract the already crazy. I hope that makes sense.

  2. Joe Joe
    March 30th, 2016 @ 12:15 am

    I have immense respect for all of you who went and pleaded with SCOTUS. I am also a big fan of Robert Oscar Lopez. I fear the CSUN English department will detenure him. He is a fearless voice of faith and reason in this area.

  3. Liza
    March 30th, 2016 @ 12:31 am

    That’s us. I do not think CSUN can but it is a hideous place to have to teach. They have their tentacles in everything. The things they do–1000s of letters and calls to get people fired. Intimidation tactics, threats, harassment, bullying threatening family member, coworkers, congregations and blackmail–lying lying, stalking people, more threats and lies. And they will never stop and they are men so violence is not out of the question. We all live with not a small of fear from them. That they dare cry victim is mind boggling.

  4. Joe Joe
    March 30th, 2016 @ 12:45 am

    They are a very PC campus. ROL also mentioned that Claire Potter was behind some of what is happening. I did not realize they were thinking of resorting to physical violence, although I know how vicious and self-righteous the LGBT types can be. The activists have neither shame nor limits. ROL is a brave man.

  5. Liza
    March 30th, 2016 @ 1:43 am

    Potter is a trolling cow and a hack. ROL still has a job and that is a major insulation. Other COGs lost their jobs, careers, homes and more. I am not sure what bravery means. It might mean to keep going in spite of it.

  6. Joe Joe
    March 30th, 2016 @ 2:06 am

    ROL has tenure, and that’s important in academics; his situation proves why. I did not realize that other COGs actually lost jobs and homes. How does that even happen?

    Claire Potter still believes that the Duke Lacrosse players were guilty–of something. (Of what, she doesn’t say.) The DNA evidence, the ICTV camera evidence, the fact that one player was hundreds of miles away during the alleged “rape”–not of this matters to Claire, who is CERTAIN something happened because it was white men watching black women dance. Apparently, hiring a dancer, while perfectly legal, is a hate crime if the agency happens to send women of color. Or something.

    I thought she was just the usual PC crank, but when I found out she had actively gone to CSUN to trash his career, I just couldn’t believe it. I remember them having discussions of the comments sections of her blog on Chronicle of Higher Ed. She always seemed exasperated but I didn’t realize what a vindictive individual she is.

    If you talk to ROL, please tell him I enjoy his columns and to keep fighting on. I also thank you for speaking out.

  7. Robert What?
    March 30th, 2016 @ 5:56 am

    Yes, I know. But I mean I don’t know if I believe that. In my experience, male feminists, manginas, etc, do not get laid – least of all by their wives. If they have sex at all it is limited to him servicing her, so of course she thinks they’re having sex. But of course I wasn’t there.

  8. Liza
    March 30th, 2016 @ 9:24 am

    Potter is an example of how identity politics killed the academy by allowing 3rd rate minds and self righteous arrogance too much room. Potter is not let’s say Harold Bloom. In a reasonable world she would have spent her life teaching high school. Self righteous often leads to vindictive. It is moral relativism it appeals to the last people anyone would want to be making moral or social judgements. They can project people doing horrible things (the Lacrosse team) because they can and will do horrible things to others.

    How do these things. They harass work places and threaten, false charges, false complaints. Things that need to be addressed and that take time and money and they interfere with that places ability to do what it does until people are “let go”. And then they follow a person to the next job wash, rinse, repeat false charges accusations. They follow a person job to job and do all sorts of things. The contact different career associates and threaten–it is a Black Listing. If a person can’t pay their bills they loose their home. Most COGs were not left trust funds and do not have family to help. Sometimes they force people to move because this is and out of control and unhinged group. They will destroy lots of children and most not their own.

  9. Grampy_Bone
    March 30th, 2016 @ 10:09 am

    Saw this happen to a friend of mine. His dad lost his company job, found another job at a university, met all these feminist lesbian professors. Pretty normal guy, chivalrous, honorable, protective of women, etc. It only took a few years for these wretched, vile women to convince him he was *actually* a woman and put him on the path to becoming a dickless freak. Naturally it ruined his marriage and family. I’m convinced those lesbians mounted his dick on their wall like some kind of trophy. I think they just enjoy castrating men by any means.

  10. Joe Joe
    March 30th, 2016 @ 10:31 am

    I agree about the 3rd rate minds. Many people who take up critical theory based disciplines are not intelligent enough to see through the jargon. But they become very self-righteous and personalize (problematize) everything. What they are doing is harassment and it should be illegal. Do you have a blog where you discuss COG issues? I’d like to continue the discussion.

  11. Joe Joe
    March 30th, 2016 @ 10:33 am

    I have no reason to doubt the wife on her assessment of their sex life. However, I imagine that the husband’s mind was somewhere else: on himself as a woman. One wonders what things he may have asked for.

  12. Liza
    March 30th, 2016 @ 1:33 pm

    Critical theory is a kind of pseudo philosophy People who take up critical theory do so because they have a certain amount of distain for literature which is basically a contempt for humanity. That and identity politics together became a toxic broth of enforcing some neo morality on other peoples children. It is also easy to use a few buzz words and get unreadable badly written pedestrian thoughts published. We don’t have a blog. None of us are super tech. If you sent one up let me know.

  13. Joe Joe
    March 30th, 2016 @ 2:13 pm

    You can get a free one on Word Press. You can also get a free message board on

  14. gunga
    March 31st, 2016 @ 1:42 pm

    You Sir, deserve an award.

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  16. Lulu
    March 31st, 2016 @ 5:24 pm

    Many of these men have been masturbating for years to thoughts of themselves dressed as women etc.

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