The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Headline of the Week

Posted on | May 9, 2020 | 1 Comment

An instant classic:

EXCLUSIVE: ‘I have no other talent’:
Gold Coast influencer breaks down
in tears as she loses followers on
‘porn’ website OnlyFans due to
the coronavirus pandemic and
can no longer pay her rent

Australia’s Gold Coast is near Brisbane, and I have no idea why this particular bimbo would think she could make a career out of selling dirty pictures of her coochie on the Internet:

A distraught Gold Coast influencer had a breakdown last week because the coronavirus pandemic led to a drop in followers on her X-rated OnlyFans account.
Billie Beever, who has 113,000 Instagram fans and supports herself by posting adult content on the subscription website, cried as she revealed she can no longer pay her rent.
The 27-year-old charges $12.99-a-month for access to her pictures and makes extra through tips and requests — but jobless fans can no longer afford to follow her.
‘Everyone on TV is always talking about how everybody has lost their jobs and people can’t pay for anything anymore, but I’m losing subscribers on OnlyFans and that’s my main source of income,’ sobbed Billie in a now-removed TikTok video.
She continued: ‘I can’t pay my rent, I can’t work. Even if I was to go back to work, what am I meant to do? Strip clubs are all closed, you can’t even be close to somebody because of social distancing.
‘I have nothing else going for me, I have no other talent. I’ve got nothing else. I can’t dance, I can’t sing, I can’t do anything. I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do. I just want everything to go back to normal so people can keep subscribing.’

Well, I suppose, she could become a politician and make regular appearances on CNN, which is what whores with no talent do in America. And speaking of people making money on the Internet . . .

Because nobody would pay to see pictures of me naked, I was forced to become a blogger, and making jokes about politics is even less lucrative than what Billie Beever does. Somehow, I managed to endure this shame without ever being tempted to run for Congress or appear on CNN. And you should probably hit my tip jar in gratitude.

(Hat-tip: @ground_miller on Twitter.)




 

Category: humor

Comments

One Response to “Headline of the Week”

  1. Sorta Blogless Sunday Pinup » Pirate's Cove
    May 10th, 2020 @ 9:28 am

    […] The Other McCain has your headline of the week. […]