The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

‘Supreme Gentleman’ Syndrome

Posted on | July 23, 2020 | Comments Off on ‘Supreme Gentleman’ Syndrome

 

Everyone remembers the “supreme gentleman” Elliot Rodger, who “killed six people and injured fourteen others near the campus of University of California, Santa Barbara, before killing himself inside his vehicle.”  His deranged murder spree made him the idol of “incels” who have actually been deemed a domestic terrorism threat, because these losers keep going on copycat shooting rampages, usually after posting “manifestos” declaring their war against . . . Well, who? Normal people.

Normal people may or may not be very successful in the romance department, but they don’t turn their failures into a weltanschauung. Normal people don’t commit mass murder because they can’t get a date.

Crazy People Are Dangerous, as I’ve told you a few hundred times, and anyone who considers Elliot Rodger to be a hero is crazy. So, a therapist in Seattle has seen a few “incel” types as patients in his practice, and quotes the following account from one young loser:

“Imagine you are a 23-year-old skinny and hardworking guy. You were called “nerd” growing up.  You are also shy and don’t know what to say to girls but all around your town, you see thugs, dealers, rednecks all with models?
“You ask out girls every chance you can but they shut you off. You cut your hair nice, shave beard nice, have a car, do your best to get ahead and you have a motorcycle and you’re kind and EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU ARE AROUND A WOMAN THEY ARE TREATING YOU LIKE THE WEIRD UNCLE OR LIKE A GODDAMN INFERIOR BEING and yet you meet the guys these women married and they are arrogant, crude, lying obnoxious pricks. So then you AS A NORMAL GUY sign yourself up for POF (Plenty of Fish), Tinder, Match, etc and you message HUNDREDS of women like 400 on POF and you swipe right on EVERY tinder profile and you wait a week or 2 and check back to see how many messages you got and you have ZERO messages on POF and one message on tinder.
“You just weren’t born with Brad Pitt’s face. That is your sin. You can be fit, make more money, etc but if you are deemed unattractive you are put in a corner of rejection.”

Notice that I highlighted a couple of qualities this guy mentions: He is skinny, has been called a “nerd,” and is “shy and [doesn’t] know what to say to girls.” As soon as I saw this, I knew what the problem was.

“Do you have any friends? Like, guy friends?”

That should be the first question any counselor or therapist asks a young man complaining this way. Because, you see, the fundamental problem is that the guy is an introvert with a lack of social skills. He complains aobut his inability to connect with women — he doesn’t know how to talk to them — but I’ll bet you $100 he doesn’t have any male friends, either.

The “incel” is not merely a loser, but also a loner. He spends too much time playing videogames and not doing “real world” stuff that involves social interaction because such activities make him uncomfortable. He’s made “shy” and “nerd” his core identity, a ready-made explanation for failure, and then blames his failures on women. It is wrong for women to prefer “obnoxious” guys (i.e., extroverts) when obviously they should prefer him, the Supreme Gentleman. Well . . . why?

What is it that women want from men? Or to put it another way, how does a guy supply value added to a woman’s life? What benefit do women derive from the companionship of guys you dismiss as “thugs”?

Are women’s preferences entirely irrational? Is there perhaps a reason why women treat this shy, skinny nerd as an “inferior being”?

He doesn’t have any friends. He is held in low regard by male peers and thus suffers from a lack of social status, whereas the guys he dismisses as “obnoxious” are more gregarious and, as a result, have more friends and greater status. It’s not really very complicated. There are plenty of guys who “weren’t born with Brad Pitt’s face” and yet nevertheless do not become pathetic “incel” losers. And there’s something else.

The age at which a guy should start worrying seriously about his lack of success with girls is not 23. I’d say 15 or 16 is more like it.

You notice this about “incels,” i.e., that they completely missed out on the dating scene as teenagers. Why? It baffles me, and I could speculate on this subject, but I think there is something significant about the lack of self-awareness involved. Like, I recall being enormously frustrated about not having a girlfriend as early as 13 or 14. There were a few girls with whom I got past first base by the time I was 15 or 16, but this only increased my frustration, IYKWIMAITYD. My point, however, is that I was aware of a need for self-improvement by the time I was old enough to get a driver’s license, and I never stopped trying to improve my game.

Why is it, therefore, that this guy keeps losing until he’s 23 before finally seeking help? He’s been following the same self-defeating patterns since high school without ever once consulting someone — a friend, a relative, anyone — who could give him a few pointers?

This is much easier to do as a teenager, when basically everybody is clueless, so that there’s no shame in asking for advice. Even if you’re such a pathetic loser that you don’t really have any friends, maybe you’ve got aunts, uncles, or cousins you could ask. Sure, it’s embarrassing to admit that you’re a complete failure in desperate need of help, but you’ve got to start somewhere, and it’s best to start early, because otherwise you’ll be national news at age 23: SEVENTEEN DEAD AFTER ‘INCEL’ MANIAC GOES BERSERK WITH ASSAULT RIFLE.

Don’t be that guy. Mass murder is not cool.




 

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