The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

An Addition to the ‘Do Not Date’ List

Posted on | November 2, 2023 | Comments Off on An Addition to the ‘Do Not Date’ List

Say hello to Gigi Chapman of Manchester, England. Probably some readers are saying, “Why must I put Gigi’s name on my ‘Do Not Date’ list? She’s thousands of miles away, on the other side of the ocean.” Trust me, friends, there is no such thing as too careful in this case. Gigi has an Instagram page that you probably don’t want to see — don’t say I didn’t warn you — as well as an OnlyFans (!!!) and she seems devoted to the “swingers” lifestyle. Some people might be so lonely and desperate as to be tempted to investigate this “lifestyle,” and who knows? After a drink or two — or seven or eight — maybe you’d be in such a mood as to say to yourself, “Gosh, that 230-pound woman over there seems kind of nice.”

Far be it from me to judge people on what they might do under the influence of loneliness, desperation and seven or eight drinks. But I am here to warn you lonely fellows — as I say, you can’t be too careful — to enter the name Gigi Chapman on your “Do Not Date” list.

You should take my word about this, but probably some readers — O, ye of little faith! — may wonder what merits this strong warning. Trust me when I say, you don’t want to know the answer to that question.

But of course, if you trusted me, you would have just done what I told you to do, added Gigi’s name to your “Do Not Date” list, and moved on. But no, you self-important skeptical types think you deserve more information, and insist on knowing what Gigi has done to deserve this. And in response to your persistent inquiries, I can only answer with a question: “Can you handle it?” Are you sure you want to know?

I’ve been in this racket long enough to understand my responsibilities as a professional journalist, and if I consulted my attorney, Bert the Samoan Lawyer, he’d probably tell me I’m in the clear. Having warned you in advance, I bear no liability for whatever psychiatric trauma you may suffer, if you ignore my advice. WARNING: Whatever you do . . .

DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK!

Intelligent readers always trust my advice. And meanwhile, the less-intelligent readers are frantically clicking my Amazon links trying to order a case of brain bleach, hoping to erase the horrific mental image which, by their foolish choice, they now can never forget.

Not my fault. Bert the Samoan Lawyer’s got me covered.



 

Category: Sex

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