The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Haiti’s Zombie Apocalypse: Media Skeptical of Cannibalism Reports

Posted on | March 13, 2024 | 3 Comments

How bad is the situation in Haiti? Three words: Worse than Baltimore.

Sure, Baltimore is a violence-plagued hellhole and no sane person would go near it, but as bad as things are in Baltimore, the city hasn’t yet been taken over by gangs of cannibals:

The embattled prime minister of Haiti, Ariel Henry, has said he will resign after weeks of mounting chaos in the Caribbean nation, where gangs have been attacking government structures and social order is on the brink of collapse.
Henry said in a video address late Monday that his government would leave power after the establishment of a transitional council, adding, “Haiti needs peace. Haiti needs stability.”
“My government will leave immediately after the inauguration of the council. We will be a caretaker government until they name a prime minister and a new cabinet,” Henry said.
Henry’s adviser Jean Junior Joseph told CNN that Henry would remain in his role until the formation of a new interim government.
The Caribbean Community and Common Market (CARICOM), meeting in Jamaica on Monday said it had agreed to set up a transitional council to lay the foundations for elections in Haiti. . . .
When the worst of the violence erupted last week, Henry was in Kenya to sign an agreement to send 1,000 Kenyan police officers to the Caribbean nation to restore the security situation of which his government has lost control.
He was unable to return to Haiti as the security situation deteriorated around the airport in the capital, Port-au-Prince. A plan to travel via the neighboring Dominican Republic was abandoned after the government there refused permission for his plane to land. He has been in the US territory of Puerto Rico since last week.
The United States will contribute $300 million to the Kenyan-led multinational security mission, Secretary of State Antony Blinken said after attending the CARICOM meeting on Monday. He also announced an additional $33 million in “humanitarian assistance for the people of Haiti.”
Following Henry’s announced resignation and “the complete breakdown of law and order” in Haiti, Kenya has put its deployment of police to the country on hold, a Kenyan spokesperson told CNN.
“Without a political administration in Haiti, there is no anchor on which a police deployment can rest, hence the government will await the installation of a new constitutional authority in Haiti,” Kenya’s principal secretary for foreign affars, Koror Sing’Oei, said. . . .
Henry, who came to power unelected in 2021 following the assassination of Haiti’s then-president, failed to hold elections last year, saying the country’s insecurity would compromise the vote. But his decision only further enraged protesters who had for months demanded he stand down as Haiti slid further into poverty and rampant gang violence.
Since Henry’s trip to Kenya, Port-au-Prince has been gripped by a wave of highly coordinated gang attacks on law enforcement and state institutions, which has forced tens of thousands of people to flee their homes.
Haiti’s government has been under a state of emergency since groups attacked the country’s largest prison in Port-au-Prince earlier this month, killing and injuring police and prison staff and allowing some 3,500 inmates to escape.
One gang leader, Jimmy “Barbecue” Cherizier, took credit for the attack and said the jailbreak was an attempt to overthrow Henry’s government.
“If Ariel Henry doesn’t step down, if the international community continues to support Ariel Henry, they will lead us directly into a civil war that will end in genocide,” Cherizier told Reuters in Port-au-Prince last week.
Gangs now control 80% of Haiti’s capital, according to United Nations estimates, and continue to fight for the rest. While Henry was out of the country, gangs laid siege to the country’s main airport to prevent his safe return.

OK, so Haiti’s president was assassinated just three years ago. His replacement has now been driven out of office by gangs led by a guy nicknamed “Barbecue.” For the record, “Chérizier has denied that his nickname . . . came from accusations of his setting people on fire.” However, his gangs have committed multiple massacres and, while the mainstream media are insisting that there is no credibility to reports of cannibalism amid the chaos, there is a history of such things in Haiti. Do some research into Sect Rouge, if you’re interested.

We do not have any confirmed cases of cannibalism in the present disorder, but when there is a “complete breakdown of law and order,” how would we know? There are no police to investigate or apprehend the cannibals, nor are there any courts where the cannibals could be put on trial. So if there are cannibals in Haiti, they’re running wild with nobody to stop them, and the outside world would have no way of knowing. Do you think any American reporters are booking flights for Port-au-Prince, to investigate these reports of cannibalism? Can you imagine, for example, the Washington Post sending Taylor Lorenz to Haiti?

OK, maybe you can imagine that, you sadistic bastards, but the point I was trying to make is that Haiti is worse than Baltimore, which is about as bad as it gets in America. The chaos in Haiti is a reminder of just how bad things can get — a worst-case scenario, the Zombie Apocalypse — and if the gangs who have taken over are not actually feasting on their victims yet, perhaps it’s just a matter of time.


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3 Responses to “Haiti’s Zombie Apocalypse: Media Skeptical of Cannibalism Reports”

  1. Cannibalism in Haiti? - The DaleyGator
    March 14th, 2024 @ 9:22 am

    […] The Other McCain reports, you decide […]

  2. Baltimore, a Reeking Hellhole of a City, Somehow Just Got Even Worse : The Other McCain
    March 26th, 2024 @ 6:40 pm

    […] violence-ridden Third World country like Haiti, my habit is to say it’s so bad, it’s worse than Baltimore, which is about as bad as it gets in America. Nothing good ever happens in Baltimore, a city […]

  3. Baltimore Sucks its Way to New Lows in Sucking - The DaleyGator
    March 27th, 2024 @ 12:49 pm

    […] violence-ridden Third World country like Haiti, my habit is to say it’s so bad, it’s worse than Baltimore, which is about as bad as it gets in America. Nothing good ever happens in Baltimore, a city […]