LIVE AT FIVE: 08.12.13

We begin this Rule 5 Sunday post, as we so often do, with some well-meant advice for the Loyal Readers: while many of the links below lead to wholesome photographs of good-looking women tastefully attired in swimsuits or more, some lead to similar photographs of attractive women attired in lingerie or less, thus rendering them NSFW.* Exercise proper discretion in clicking on the links.

Lowering The Boom leads off this month with some #sharkweek action: Tara Reid. Laughing Conservative has Abi Titmuss, Reaganite Republican imitates Iowahawk with Incarcerated Beauty (also, Sophia Loren!)and Subject To Change liked last week’s taste of Tommy Shaw so much, he too did a Girls with Guns post. Randy’s Roundtable checks in with Chrissy Teigen, and Fishersville Mike mourns the passing of CMT with Cassadee Pope. Animal Magnetism contributes Rule 5 Friday and the Saturday Gingermageddon, while 90 Miles From Tyranny has not one, but two Girls With Guns posts along with the Hot Pick of the Late Night. Blackmailers Don’t Shoot’s Pretty Girls On A Thursday leads off with Hell On Wheels and includes other goodies as well. Speaking of goodies, Goodstuff’s Cyber World has Hannah Minx and other things of interest, and First Street Journal pursues its own unique version of Rule 5 with Anchors Aweigh, My Girls!

EBL’s herd of cuties this week includes Retro Atomic Rocket Rule 5, some Helmut Newton pix, Tara Reid, Democrat Senator Sheep Abuse, the lawyer who traded sex for office supplies, and the Golden Age Of Travel.

A View From The Beach brings us Sinbad’s Sailor Women, Czech Please (Daniela Pestova), That’s It; I’m Going To Church (With Kate Upton), What If God Was A Lesbian?, I Am Warrior, Too Old to Die Young, Carla Bruni’s First Lady Prospects Looking Up, X-Ray Glasses, and Not All Gingers Are This Crazy.

Wine Women and Politics contributes Midnight Madness, Saturday Sweeties, Hotties Friday Fix, and Hotties Will Be Hot.

Postaldog updates his Sydney Leathers post (By Popular Demand!) and also brings it with Helen Hunt, Mischa Barton, Belinda Bauer, and Amanda Seyfried.

Soylent Green’s Monday Motivationer is Veronica, followed by Overnighty Random Tumblr Fur, Tuesday Titillation Steampunk, Humpday Hawtness Giuliana, Overnighty Hope, Falconsword Fursday Anita E, A Reply From The Complaint Department, Corset Confabuliarium, Bravo Brazil, T-GIF Friday With Leanna, ICYMI: Raquel Pomplun, and Afternooner Ginger Fur.

Proof Positive’s Friday Night Babe is Kyle Bisutti, his vintage babe is Beverly Garland, and of course, there’s Sex In Advertising. Also, Karen Black, RIP. Dustbury submits Rebecca Shoichet and Jodie Foster, while Three Beers Later has something for everybody with Shania Twain and Tim McGraw.

The DaleyGator’s DaleyBabes this week included Emily Osment, Atsumi Ishihara, Noelle Bellinghau, Gaby Ramirez, Yendi Phillips, Kayden Cross, Keisha Chante, Rali Ivanova, Carlee Ranger, Alyssa Milano, Amber Heard, Carly Baker, Mao Kotono, Jamie Lee Kirchner, Janina Gavankar, and Kerry Washington. Also, Faces To Fall In Love With and Random Beauty Sunday.

*And then there’s some of the stuff EBL sends in, which is just Wrong and Not Safe For Anywhere.

Thanks to everyone for their linkagery! Submissions for next weekend’s Rule 5 roundup are due to the Rule 5 Wombat mailbox no later than Saturday, August 17.

Category: Rule 5

Missing Teen Hannah Anderson Rescued After FBI Shoots and Kills Her Kidnapper

Posted on | August 11, 2013 | 36 Comments

Wrote about this case Thursday at Viral Read and Friday here, and now there’s good news in the case:

A massive manhunt that spanned 1,000 miles ended in gunfire in the Idaho wild late Saturday afternoon — shots that ended the life of the family friend who was suspected of abducting 16-year-old Hannah Anderson and killing her mother and brother.
The teenager was rescued near Morehead Lake, Idaho, where an FBI tactical agent killed her alleged kidnapper, James DiMaggio, around 5:20 p.m (7:20 p.m. ET), authorities said. . . .
Hannah Anderson had last been seen in San Diego County, California, at her cheerleading practice August 3. The bodies of her mother, Christina Anderson, and 8-year-old brother, Ethan, were found the next day about 45 miles east in DiMaggio’s Boulevard house; lab tests were needed to identify the boy because his remains were so badly charred.

Here’s the video report:

UPDATE: Statement by the FBI Special Agent in Charge:

Good evening. I am Mary Rook, special agent in charge of the FBI office in Salt Lake City.
I want to update you about the rescue operation that just concluded.
At approximately 5:20 local time, special agents with the FBI’s Hostage Rescue Team, along with the Salt Lake City Division of the FBI, observed Hannah and the suspect near Morehead Lake at a makeshift campsite. Agents moved in to rescue Hannah. The suspect is deceased.
As a matter of policy, the FBI automatically dispatches a shooting review team from Washington to review the circumstances surrounding any situation where an FBI agent discharges a firearm.
The team will interview witnesses and determine exactly what happened. For this reason, no other details can be released at this time.
When incidents like these occur, no one ever really knows where the investigation will lead. In this case, our team faced a very challenging situation.
Our team of FBI agents, Valley and Ada County Sheriff’s deputies, Idaho state troopers, U.S. marshals, the U.S. Border Patrol, and the rest of the entire team worked tirelessly to find Hannah.
Now that Hannah is safe and being evaluated in a medical facility, FBI victim specialists are working with Hannah and her family to get them the resources they may need to get through the next phase of this incident.
As grateful as we are that she was recovered safely, we also remember the other victims in this case who lost their lives.
Moving forward, the FBI Evidence Response Team, along with detectives from the San Diego County Sheriff’s Department, will process the crime scene at the site of the rescue. This will still take some time and require a great deal of logistical coordination.
As the Idaho portion of this case wraps up and transitions back to San Diego County, we will continue to work with our colleagues, both in Idaho and San Diego, and provide them any continuing support they might need.
It has been said that the greatest weapon against crime is the cooperation of all law enforcement, with the understanding of the public. This case has proven that.

Category: Crime

Yes, Ma’am, However …

Posted on | August 10, 2013 | 88 Comments

[Picture removed]

OK, my “SlutWalkDC” photos got zapped — blame Joan of Arc — but a guy named Ted got a photo of me taking a photo.

As for the girl’s poster, it should be the title of a TV series, or maybe a textbook, but it’s at least a T-shirt slogan. However, thinking back to when I was that age, I would tell the young ladies that the boners control the boys more often than the other way around. Knowing this, the best advice for young ladies is BOYS HAVE COOTIES.

Just don’t have anything to do with boys. Keep as far away from them as possible. If it were up to me, we would abolish co-education, and the only time young ladies would be able to meet boys would be at heavily chaperoned dances and such.

But a lot of things would be different it it were up to me, and meanwhile we’re living in an imperfect world where journalists don’t get paid as much as NBA stars, where cameras occasionally malfunction, and young people don’t heed good advice.

Young guys may want to control their boners, but the boner is inherently totalitarian. It’s like Hitler — he says he only wants the Sudetenland, but if you give him Sudetenland, next thing you know, he’ll take the rest of Czechoslovakia, too, and Poland after that.

Young ladies should be less like Neville Chamberlain and more like Winston Churchill: “Never give in . . . in nothing, great or small, large or petty . . . Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”

And trust me: Boys have cooties.

Category: Feminism, Sex

WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.

Posted on | August 10, 2013 | 101 Comments

OK, the story that was here is gone. Having heard from the girl in the photo, who made it clear that I misread her “SlutWalk DC” protest sign, I decided that a mere correction was insufficient.

Her sign said she “didn’t want to press charges,” and my concern was that the perpetrator (the 24-year-old who raped a drunk 14-year-old girl) had not been prosecuted for the crime.

The girl says that, while she had initially been unwilling to press charges, she changed her mind and the guy was prosecuted. So my concern was mistaken and, because of the inflammatory nature of my remarks — imagine that, me making inflammatory remarks! — it seemed to me that a mere correction was not enough.

Apologies for the error. — RSM

Category: Crime, Feminism

Blame Joan of Arc

Posted on | August 10, 2013 | 136 Comments

WASHINGTON, D.C.
My photos of “Slutwalk DC” got zapped — “It was a glitch! It was a technical malfunction!” to quote Gus Grissom — while I was trying to load them from the disc of my wife’s camera, which I was using because my faithful pink “Barbie cam” is broken.

So you won’t get to see the photos of Celine, the topless feminist with nice pink nipples, or Eliana, the long–legged George Washington University coed who made the march while wearing black lingerie and high heels. And like I said, I blame Joan of Arc for this.

The march began at the plaza around the African-American Civil War Memorial at the corner of Vermont and U Street. When I arrived, the strumpets and hussies and harlots were gathered around, brandishing their signs and, of course, their breasts. By my count — and trust me, I’m a professional journalist — four women made the march topless, but Celine’s were certainly the nicest pair.

Celine is a 25-year-old blonde from Baltimore, nerdy and pale, not particularly beautiful but not unattractive.

Did I mention she was topless? And she has nice pink nipples?

On her chest she had written, with red lipstick, “Still not asking for it.”

Celine was wearing geek glasses and struck me as trying to seem more at ease than she actually was. When I asked permission to take her picture, she said, “Thanks for asking my consent.” Honestly, I felt kind of bad for her, as I objectified her with my male gaze.

Well, a picture would be worth a thousand words, but as I say, the cursed camera failed me, and so words are all I have for you.

Guys who’ve dated around a lot (and, hey, I used to be a Democrat) know the pleasant surprise when you score the hook-up with a chick like this, the “nice girl” type who may not seem superficially sexy, but once she gets naked . . .

Well, I married one of those, and thus perhaps have a special appreciation for the type. If you met Celine, clothed, you probably wouldn’t be too impressed. But topless? Hey, nice pair.

Maybe not quite a full C-cup, but at least a generous B, and did I mention her nipples? Pretty sure I did.

Not that I said any such thing to her, and I didn’t even stare as I interviewed Celine for The American Spectator column I’ll write later.

Did you read Ace’s laceration of Amanda Marcotte the other day? Because I’m the patriarchal oppressor of Amanda’s dystopian nightmares: Yes, I see women — and their breasts — and am immediately filled with visions of them impregnated with my seed, bearing my offspring, bringing me sandwiches. But ultimately, there’s not enough of me to go around, and my wife insists on monopolizing my oppressive misogyny — for which other women should be grateful.

Anyway, there I was amid the assembled feminists on the plaza on Vermont Avenue. Trying not to be too conspicuous in my sexist objectification of them — besides Celine, there were about two dozen other reasonably attractive women among the hundreds who turned out for SlutWalk DC. Out of the whole crowd, there were only three or four you’d really call “hot,” and none of those were topless. (Fact: Public toplessness is legal in DC, but women don’t seem much interested in exercising that particular right.)

After about 15 or 20 minutes, the march began, three blocks east on U Street to 14th, where they turned north and uphill, and then went east into Meridian Hill Park. It was on that final leg of the march that I gathered the nerve to briefly interview Eliana, who was unquestionably the hottest woman in the march. She wore a sort of bustier and lace panties that left the lower portion of her buttocks exposed.

Eliana is a tanned brunette with slender legs — a “coltish” figure, you might say — and two dimples above her remarkably small but certainly quite round and shapely ass.

When I was a young fellow, I was very much an ass man who liked skinny girls like that, but for some reason, they don’t really impress me the way they did 30 or 35 years ago. This shift in aesthetic preference isn’t something I can explain, but which I note by way of saying that while I recognized mentally that Eliana was the best-looking participant in SlutWalk DC — a head-turning figure, dressed quite scantily — concupsicence was not a factor involved in my approaching her.

“Those heels must be killing you,” I said.

She laughed, and politely answered my questions: She’s a senior at George Washington University, majoring in psychology, minoring in women’s studies. “Oh, women’s studies,” I said.

The march arrived at Meridian Hill Park, where a temporary stage was set up at the south end, near the statue of a sword-wielding figure on horseback. Military monuments are a dime a dozen in D.C., where statues memorializing once-famous heroes are ignored by the residents. How many people, for example, ever think about “The Rock of Chickamauga” when driving through Thomas Circle?

So here we were, me and the self-proclaimed sluts, in the very shadow of this equestrian warrior, sword aloft, and out of curiosity I walked over to see whom this statue memorialized.

JEANNE D’ARC
LIBERATRICE
1412–1431
AUX FEMMES D’AMERIQUE
LES FEMMES DE FRANCE

Joan of Arc, patron saint of sluts? Surely the event organizers had intentionally chosen the location for the ironic purpose of having this fanatically Catholic 15th-century French peasant girl standing guard, as it were, over their convocation.

I hung around a bit longer,carefully studying the crowd to do a tally, counting exactly 14 pretty faces among about 400.

Perhaps I missed a few, or maybe I double-counted some, but certainly there weren’t more than two dozen lookers among them. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, of course, and maybe the AOSHQ “I’d hit it” standard is flexible enough that 10% would have made the grade without benefit of serious whiskey consumption.

My job was done, and I walked down 14th Street to this McDonald’s, intending to upload a few photos, including pink-nippled Celine, but something went wrong. My unfamiliarity with this camera is probably to blame. I’m sure I hit the wrong button while trying to download the photos. Perhaps it was a perfectly mundane technical accident, but when I checked the disk a second time — nothing.

Call it a glitch, call it a coincidence, but I don’t believe in coincidences. No, I blame it on that sword-wielding peasant girl. She didn’t want her feminist sisters objectified by the male gaze.

Ah, Joan! No wonder they burned you at the stake.

UPDATE: Thank goodness, some of the photos have been aggregated at Twitchy, including this one:

#slutwalkdc pic.twitter.com/oG8TiDeNUV

— Rebecca (@rebeccuhhh_) August 10, 2013

That’s Eliana, the George Washington University senior, click here to see a larger view of her dimpled ass — not that any of our readers would objectify her with the male gaze or anything like that.

UPDATE II: Joke time is over, this is serious:

At #SlutWalk, Statutory Rape Victim’s
Sign Explains, ‘I Didn’t Press Charges’

Rape is not a political grievance, it’s a crime. Stop parading around shouting slogans and start prosecuting criminals.

Category: Feminism

Slut Walk: Dumbed-Down Feminism and the Politics of Mindless Protest Chic

Posted on | August 10, 2013 | 163 Comments

Today at 11 a.m., angry women — perhaps dozens of them — will gather in Washington for “SlutWalk DC,” a fundamentally pointless exercise in public stupidity that will accomplish nothing except to give the participants a chance to say they’ve done something.

Like many other such left-wing protests, SlutWalk DC is basically about political tribalism, signifying membership, parading around one’s inchoate grievances, venting one’s anger about personal or collective victimhood. Notice how the women above are demonstrating against a non-existent opposition, i.e., The Pro-Rape Movement.

Is anyone in favor of rape? Can we get a show of hands of those who think rape should be legalized? Anyone? No, of course not.

Personally, I think rape should be punishable by death in some cases, but I’m willing to bet that nearly all the SlutWalk DC marchers are liberals who are against the death penalty, even for murder.

Thus, the feminist rhetoric is basically a way for women to ju-jitsu the issue that lost Michael Dukakis the 1988 presidential election, promoting the (entirely false) idea that rape is somehow the fault of those sexist Republican right-wingers, rather than actually doing anything about arresting rapists and putting them in prison.

What is this poster about? Can anyone read this and derive from it a policy proposal, some sort of reform agenda? Anything?

No, of course not. What this poster is saying is, “I had a crappy childhood” (no would would disagree) “I hate my mother” (can’t say that we blame you) and “Don’t criticize whatever kind of sex I’m having now” (of course, we wouldn’t even think about your “sexuality,” if you weren’t advertising it on your protest poster).

Questioning the rhetoric of these left-wing protests, as if the protesters are intelligent adults who might be expected to make a coherent argument, is not allowed. You may recall the gibbering nonsensical rage emitted by the Occupy movement, which was never actually about anything except (a) rich people have a lot of money, and (b) smelly hippies camping out in a city park.

Seriously, that was their entire agenda: “Let’s go camping, yell about how much we hate rich people, try to make such nuisances of ourselves that the cops will be forced to arrest us, and also — while we’re at it — sexually assault any women stupid enough to join us.”

Why didn’t the “SlutWalk” organizers protest against the Occupy movement? Is it unfair to suspect that many of the rapes these women are so angry about actually occurred inside Occupy tents?

OK, that sarcasm probably crossed some kind of line, and even my sexist Republican readers might be offended. But perhaps you see my point. If we were to check the voter registration of convicted rapists, is there anyone — anyone — who doubts that Democrat men commit the majority of rapes in America? It’s not just elected Democrats like Bob Filner, but the kind of men who vote for Bob Filner, who are actually the Pro-Rape Movement. If liberal women seem especially angry about rape, isn’t it because liberal women hang around liberal men, and most liberal men are selfish amoral creeps?

Let’s face it: Republicans are the ones who want to lock up rapists. Democrats are the ones who see criminals as victims of an oppressive and unjust capitalist system. And instead of cracking down on actual rapists, the liberal Democrat women are instead angry because some people still use a simple word to describe the kind of degenerate promiscuity that liberal Democrat women consider normal.

Why is it — really, I want you to think hard about this — why is it that merely talking sarcastically about feminism seems to anger feminists more than rape itself? Speaking critically of wretched egalitarian radicalism is not a crime, you know, and if liberal women want to turn a word like “slut” into a political weapon, how can they say it’s unfair for their opponents to turn that weapon against them?

If you’re going to hold up a sign that says “PROUD SLUT,” you can’t object when I say, yeah, like all Democrat women.

Never mind my jokes, however, let’s talk about the real joke — the official manifesto of SlutWalk DC 2013:

SlutWalk DC Demands!

All victims of sexual assault deserve dignified treatment and access to medical care regardless of race, socioeconomic status, gender expression, sexual orientation, physical ability, mental illness, immigration status, incarceration status, physical appearance or involvement in sex work. We demand that all DC-area hospitals provide access to rape kits and train staff to administer rape kits to all victims of assault.
All people have a right to control their own bodies and personal space. To have autonomy of our own bodies and sexual liberation, DC residents must have access to affordable reproductive health care services including abortions. Reproductive health care should be prioritized in the budget and we therefore oppose any and all budget cuts that restrict these services, such as the No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act that bans the District from using its own money to fund abortions for low-income women.
We oppose sexual assault in all work places.
We oppose all efforts of public figures (including politicians, law enforcement and military officers) to belittle and joke about incidents of rape and sexual assault in order to generate and maintain a culture in which sexism is accepted rather than taken seriously.
We call for an end to the deportation of undocumented people who report sexual assault, rape and domestic violence. All people must have the ability to report sexual violence and rape and to receive a medical care without fear of deportation.
The police must be held accountable to the communities they serve to the fullest extent. We call for the immediate removal and arrest of any police officer that misuses their power and authority position to abuse and assault people. We demand that the victims of police assault receive justice. We demand full equality and inclusion for transgender people, including complete access to healthcare, education and employment.
We demand an end to transphobia. We demand an end to violence committed against members of the transgender, transsexual and gender non-conforming community. We demand justice for Tyli’a Mack, LeShai McClean, and other victims of gender-motivated hate crimes.
We also demand an end to the stereotyping of trans women as sex workers, especially low income trans women and trans women of color. We call for an end to the constant police intimidation and harassment of trans women that follows this stereotype.

Do you see how they work into their agenda certain liberal issues — including abortion and amnesty for “undocumented” immigrants — that might seem debatable or controversial, if it didn’t come wrapped up in all this angry rhetoric about sexual assault, so that if you diagree with them, you’re accused of being pro-rape?

Explain to me again why I should speak respectfully about women who employs such dishonest propaganda tactics.

They’re not just sluts. They’re lying sluts.

Which is to say, they’re typical Democrat women.

Category: Feminism

Hunt for Missing Hanna Anderson Shifts to Idaho After Her Kidnapper’s Car Found

Posted on | August 9, 2013 | 25 Comments

Last night, I reported at Viral Read about this story:

A West Coast manhunt was under way Thursday for a California man suspected of having murdered a woman and her 8-year-old son and kidnapped the slain woman’s 16-year-old daughter. James DiMaggio, 40, could be fleeing north toward the Canadian border with Hannah Anderson, the girl whose mother and brother were believed to have been killed by her captor, a family friend she called “Uncle Jim.” DiMaggio was apparently obsessed with the blond teenager, and recently told Hannah that he would date her if they were the same age.

Now the story takes a new turn:

A car belonging to murder and kidnapping suspect James DiMaggio was found today covered in brush near Cascade, Idaho, San Diego County Sheriff Bill Gore said this afternoon.
The blue Nissan Versa was found without license plates, but authorities were able to determine that the vehicle belonged to DiMaggio of Boulevard, Calif., through its identification number, Gore said
The discovery marks a significant break in the case as the manhunt for DiMaggio, 40, and missing teen Hannah Anderson, 16, entered a sixth day today.

Horseback riders encountered Hannah and DiMaggio hiking on a mountain trail, but didn’t immediately report the sighting because they hadn’t seen the news about the girl’s kidnapping:

Hannah appeared healthy and safe, leading San Diego County Sheriff Bill Gore to conclude: ‘As far as we know, it didn’t appear she was being held against her will.’ . . .
The riders said they encountered a man and a young woman hiking in the wilderness on Wednesday. The pair had a tent and each was carrying a backpack.

Even if she voluntarily went with DiMaggio, Hannah probably doesn’t realize that “Uncle Jim” killed her mother and brother. But now that police know where to look, we have every reason to hope that Hannah will be found safe very soon.

Category: Crime

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The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

LIVE AT FIVE: 08.12.13

Rule 5 Sunday: Stratoscape

Missing Teen Hannah Anderson Rescued After FBI Shoots and Kills Her Kidnapper

Yes, Ma’am, However …

WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.

Blame Joan of Arc

Slut Walk: Dumbed-Down Feminism and the Politics of Mindless Protest Chic

Hunt for Missing Hanna Anderson Shifts to Idaho After Her Kidnapper’s Car Found

THE FULL METAL JACKET REACH-AROUND AWARD

HIT THE FREAKING TIP JAR!

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