Everybody Should Buy Gold, Even If Glenn Beck Gets Paid to Tell You So
Posted on | May 20, 2010 | 41 Comments
Look, the Dow Jones Industrial Average lost more than 300 points today, and the DJIA is down more than 1,130 points since closing at 11,205 on April 26. The Greek debt crisis is pulling down the European economy, more than 700 U.S. banks are now on the FDIC “troubled” list, and concern about a “double-dip” recession is becoming mainstream. Now, let’s look at this chart of gold prices over the past five years:
If you were investing in real estate or plowing your 401(k) into stocks five years ago, don’t you wish you’d bought gold instead? Yet according to Democrats, it is somehow wrong for Glenn Beck to tell you about this, because his advertisers happen to share the same opinion:
“On numerous occasions, Glenn Beck has dedicated entire segments of his program to explaining why the U.S. money supply is destined for hyperinflation with Barack Obama as president. He will often promote the purchase of gold as the only safe investment alternative for consumers who want to safeguard their livelihoods. When the show cuts to commercial break, viewers are treated to an advertisement from Goldline . . .”
If you’re a Beck fan, you know that the guy who is trying to make this into a “scandal” is Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-Ouchenozzle), and that Beck has responded by launching a new Web site, WeinerFacts.com.
While you’re reading this blog, by the way, be sure to enjoy a cold refreshing Corona ExtraTM beer.
As my blogger friends know, I don’t actually drink beer, but I always make a point of having a delicious Corona beer in my hand when I’m photographed at a party, because I’m trying to get a product-placement deal with the Mexican beer cartel.
So far, I have not been able to persuade the manufacturers of Corona that making me their officially sponsored right-wing blogger would be good for business, and Anheuser-Busch also nixed my pitch, which is why I stopped drinking pretending to drink Budweiser.
Some readers may be asking themselves, “Is it legal for Stacy to pimp himself out to advertisers so shamelessly? Couldn’t he be arrested for that?”
Not to worry, dear readers. I have consulted the nation’s finest legal mind, Professor Glenn Reynolds, who informs me that I am perfectly within my rights.
If you want to attend a fine law school, the University of Tennessee has an excellent faculty. While visiting beautiful East Tennessee, be sure to stop by Granny’s Fireworks at 1948 Bristol Highway in Watauga, where you’ll find the finest products at the lowest prices. And if you want me to shut up with these shameless product pitches, just hit the tip jar.
Silence is golden, IYKWIMAITYD.
UPDATE: Oh, look: “Financial reform” just cleared the cloture hurdle in the Senate! Doesn’t that inspire you to invest more money in Wall Street?
Of course not. Buy more gold immediately. And hit the tip jar, because this kind of excellent (but entirely unofficial) financial advice has got to be worth something.
UPDATE II: Doug Powers:
I have a strange feeling that my 401K is about to sink so low tomorrow that it may well put the final plug on the Gulf oil leak.
Anybody want to suggest an over/under on how many points the DJIA loses Friday? It hasn’t closed under 10,000 since February 8, so the prospect of 100 days of gains being wiped out . . . Hey, how’s that Hope and Change workin’ out for ya?
And thank you, Scott Brown – you’re on your way to becoming the Arlen Specter of Massachusetts.


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