The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

The Kind of Blog Post That You’re Thankful Someone Else Wrote

Posted on | May 24, 2010 | 63 Comments

South Carolina conservative blogger Will Folks confesses to having once, er, dated the married Republican gubernatorial candidate he’s been promoting:

Several years ago, prior to my marriage, I had an inappropriate physical relationship with Nikki.

Dude. Republicans already treat bloggers like whores, metaphorically. Now they’ll actually be expecting us to put out.

For the record, Nikki Haley calls this accusation “categorically and totally false.”

Bloggers just makin’ stuff up? I thought that was the media’s job.

At any rate, if GOP candidates think they can impose on me for sexual favors — trying to cop a feel in the backseat, telling me that they’ll “respect” me in the morning — they’re sadly mistaken. I’m not one of these blog-floozies like Will Folks, who lets sex-starved Republican women use and degrade him to satisfy their depraved lust.

Rumors that bathroom walls throughout South Carolina are scrawled with graffiti declaring Will Folks to be  “a dirty little GOP whore-boy” have not been confirmed. Yet.

UPDATE: Brian O’Connor at Red Dog Report:

[T]hese rumors do seem to be perfectly timed to take advantage of Haley’s popularity in the polls and recent Palin endorsement, to maximize the number of hits to Will Folk’s website.

Hey, I’ve got nothing against maximizing the hits, but there are limits even to my shamelessness. (You’ll notice I never actually posted the Hannah Giles bikini photo.) As to the Folks-Haley rumor, Erick Erickson sums it up best:

It’s a Rule of Nature: Hot Women Don’t Have Affairs With Ugly Poor Guys

The brutal truth. And despite my fabulous wealth and notorious Speedo, I’ve managed to avoid any compromising situations with the hordes of love-crazed blog-groupies who stalk me like teenage girls following the Jonas Brothers.

UPDATE II: If Disney’s looking to do a movie about this story, Dan Riehl’s got a title:

Honey, I Schtupped the Candidate

Starring Rick Moranis as Will Folks!

UPDATE III: Melissa Clouthier:

As usual, Stacy McCain makes me laugh.

Dr. Melissa has also managed to resist the love-crazed blog-groupies.

UPDATE IV: Thanks to the Associated Press, we now have this photograph of Will Folks, a.k.a., Deuce Bigalow, Blogger Gigolo. The AP reports:

In an exclusive interview with The Associated Press prior to his blog post, Folks would not discuss details of the relationship.
“I’m not going to paint pictures,” said Folks, who gave the interview on the condition his statements would not be published before he went public.

Right. And if the Associated Press starts asking questions about rumors that I had an “inappropriate relationship” with Alyssa Milano’s Twitter feed, I’m not going to “discuss details,” either.

Don’t judge me!

Category: Republicans, Scandal, South Carolina

Comments

63 Responses to “The Kind of Blog Post That You’re Thankful Someone Else Wrote”

  1. Joe
    May 24th, 2010 @ 4:14 pm

    Well many bloggers are whores, many of which will sell themselves for a few free drinks and a crappy buffet. Who knows. My initial reaction, given Folks past behavior, is to say it is bullshit.

    With Foley, I caught a lot of heat over at PW for saying something strange was going on with Foley when that story was breaking(actually I thought his staff was acting really weird and it turns out it was because their boss was completely melting down). I don’t get the same feeling on this one, but then again I am not in South Carolina.

  2. Joe
    May 24th, 2010 @ 11:14 am

    Well many bloggers are whores, many of which will sell themselves for a few free drinks and a crappy buffet. Who knows. My initial reaction, given Folks past behavior, is to say it is bullshit.

    With Foley, I caught a lot of heat over at PW for saying something strange was going on with Foley when that story was breaking(actually I thought his staff was acting really weird and it turns out it was because their boss was completely melting down). I don’t get the same feeling on this one, but then again I am not in South Carolina.

  3. Roxeanne de Luca
    May 24th, 2010 @ 4:40 pm

    What is it with married South Carolina Republican gubernatorial candidates (or governors) and adultery?

  4. Roxeanne de Luca
    May 24th, 2010 @ 11:40 am

    What is it with married South Carolina Republican gubernatorial candidates (or governors) and adultery?

  5. John LaRosa
    May 24th, 2010 @ 4:42 pm

    I must not be doing this blog whore thing right…no drinks, no “dates”…maybe I need a pimp?

  6. John LaRosa
    May 24th, 2010 @ 11:42 am

    I must not be doing this blog whore thing right…no drinks, no “dates”…maybe I need a pimp?

  7. proof
    May 24th, 2010 @ 5:09 pm

    “I had an inappropriate physical relationship with Nikki.”
    Inappropriate physical relationship?? Odd turn of phrase…Is he saying he put Tab A into Slot B???

    Or is he saying that the “relationship” itself and not just the physical part was somehow inappropriate?

    He should strive for more clarity, lest other bloggers poke fun at him. (And I mean “poke” in the purely non-sexual use of the term!)

  8. proof
    May 24th, 2010 @ 12:09 pm

    “I had an inappropriate physical relationship with Nikki.”
    Inappropriate physical relationship?? Odd turn of phrase…Is he saying he put Tab A into Slot B???

    Or is he saying that the “relationship” itself and not just the physical part was somehow inappropriate?

    He should strive for more clarity, lest other bloggers poke fun at him. (And I mean “poke” in the purely non-sexual use of the term!)

  9. Dell
    May 24th, 2010 @ 5:26 pm

    Is this the new “obligatory disclaimer”?

    He says (by my interpretation) he scored a roll in the sack with the women. Just what, if anything, does that have to do with anything else?

    If it’s true, he just lost any “inside” (I had to say it) advantage he might have had by writing same.

    Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

  10. Dell
    May 24th, 2010 @ 12:26 pm

    Is this the new “obligatory disclaimer”?

    He says (by my interpretation) he scored a roll in the sack with the women. Just what, if anything, does that have to do with anything else?

    If it’s true, he just lost any “inside” (I had to say it) advantage he might have had by writing same.

    Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

  11. FenelonSpoke
    May 24th, 2010 @ 5:27 pm

    Proof, LOL. Thanks for the laugh. Politics is so depressing now; I need to find humor where I can.

  12. FenelonSpoke
    May 24th, 2010 @ 12:27 pm

    Proof, LOL. Thanks for the laugh. Politics is so depressing now; I need to find humor where I can.

  13. Dave C
    May 24th, 2010 @ 5:31 pm

    I’m not one of these blog-floozies like Will Folks, who lets sex-starved Republican women use and degrade him to satisfy their depraved lust.

    If not Corona Beer and a buffet table but what if they sweetened the deal with a dental plan?

  14. Dave C
    May 24th, 2010 @ 12:31 pm

    I’m not one of these blog-floozies like Will Folks, who lets sex-starved Republican women use and degrade him to satisfy their depraved lust.

    If not Corona Beer and a buffet table but what if they sweetened the deal with a dental plan?

  15. Bob Belvedere
    May 24th, 2010 @ 5:40 pm

    I’m not one of these blog-floozies like Will Folks, who lets sex-starved Republican women use and degrade him to satisfy their depraved lust.

    What if the gal looked like Alyssa Milano or Christina Hendricks? Huh! What would do then, pal?

  16. Bob Belvedere
    May 24th, 2010 @ 12:40 pm

    I’m not one of these blog-floozies like Will Folks, who lets sex-starved Republican women use and degrade him to satisfy their depraved lust.

    What if the gal looked like Alyssa Milano or Christina Hendricks? Huh! What would do then, pal?

  17. Dell
    May 24th, 2010 @ 6:03 pm

    Belvedere, that’s just not fair!

    Introducing massive mammary glands tilts the playing field considerably.

    Now I’ve got to stop what I’m doing and try to find “evidence”. This could lead to a Rule 5 gold mine!

    Besides, RSM has more than he can handle now, although he’s still giving it the old “college try”. 😉

  18. Dell
    May 24th, 2010 @ 1:03 pm

    Belvedere, that’s just not fair!

    Introducing massive mammary glands tilts the playing field considerably.

    Now I’ve got to stop what I’m doing and try to find “evidence”. This could lead to a Rule 5 gold mine!

    Besides, RSM has more than he can handle now, although he’s still giving it the old “college try”. 😉

  19. Blogger Cashes in on Sexcapade with Gov. Candidate « Red Dog Report
    May 24th, 2010 @ 1:05 pm

    […] As Erick Erickson of RedState points out, Hot Women Don’t Have Affairs Ugly Poor Guys (darn), especially when the guy is of the internet troll blogger species.  As I mentioned, these rumors do seem to be perfectly timed to take advantage of Haley’s popularity in the polls and recent Palin endorsement, to maximize the number of hits to Will Folk’s website.  It seems that Folks just made the whole thing up. […]

  20. Robert Stacy McCain
    May 24th, 2010 @ 6:20 pm

    What if the gal looked like Alyssa Milano or Christina Hendricks? Huh! What would do then, pal?

    Are you saying that, inter alia, Tabitha Hale and Dana Loesch are less attractive than those women?

    Not that Tabitha or Dana would throw themselves at me — they’ve managed to restrain themselves so far. But don’t you reckon that if there really was an affair between Will Folks and Nikki Haley, that at some point Will had to “make a move”? Or do you suppose that Will is so magnetically irresistible that Mrs. Haley couldn’t help himself?

    At the very least, it takes two to tango, and the idea of a man being the innocent victim of a sex-crazed Republican woman . . . Sorry, I don’t buy it.

    For all of Tabitha Hale’s attractions, I think I could fight her off if I had to, even if she put a gun to my head: “Go ahead and pull the trigger, sweetheart — my wife will kill me anyway. Death before dishonor!”

  21. Robert Stacy McCain
    May 24th, 2010 @ 1:20 pm

    What if the gal looked like Alyssa Milano or Christina Hendricks? Huh! What would do then, pal?

    Are you saying that, inter alia, Tabitha Hale and Dana Loesch are less attractive than those women?

    Not that Tabitha or Dana would throw themselves at me — they’ve managed to restrain themselves so far. But don’t you reckon that if there really was an affair between Will Folks and Nikki Haley, that at some point Will had to “make a move”? Or do you suppose that Will is so magnetically irresistible that Mrs. Haley couldn’t help himself?

    At the very least, it takes two to tango, and the idea of a man being the innocent victim of a sex-crazed Republican woman . . . Sorry, I don’t buy it.

    For all of Tabitha Hale’s attractions, I think I could fight her off if I had to, even if she put a gun to my head: “Go ahead and pull the trigger, sweetheart — my wife will kill me anyway. Death before dishonor!”

  22. Joe
    May 24th, 2010 @ 6:26 pm

    The Campaign Spot is less than impressed. I think I may be downwind from a feed lot.

    As for the gun to the head scenerio raised by Stacy, you could give in honorably under duress. Just sayin. Your wife would never believe it and probably finish the job, but if you are going to die anyway…

  23. Joe
    May 24th, 2010 @ 1:26 pm

    The Campaign Spot is less than impressed. I think I may be downwind from a feed lot.

    As for the gun to the head scenerio raised by Stacy, you could give in honorably under duress. Just sayin. Your wife would never believe it and probably finish the job, but if you are going to die anyway…

  24. Bob Belvedere
    May 24th, 2010 @ 6:48 pm

    1) I would never say that about Dana and Tabitha [if you recall, I’ve Rule 5’d Dana twice!]. Besides, since I am not a Muslim, I am not ‘into Allah’.

    2) Joe does have a point: if you’re going to go, why not go out in a blaze of glory?

    3) Nice avoiding of my question, McCain.

    4) Dell: Godspeed, my son.

  25. Bob Belvedere
    May 24th, 2010 @ 1:48 pm

    1) I would never say that about Dana and Tabitha [if you recall, I’ve Rule 5’d Dana twice!]. Besides, since I am not a Muslim, I am not ‘into Allah’.

    2) Joe does have a point: if you’re going to go, why not go out in a blaze of glory?

    3) Nice avoiding of my question, McCain.

    4) Dell: Godspeed, my son.

  26. smitty
    May 24th, 2010 @ 6:50 pm

    @RSM,
    Must you bring up TH? 😉

  27. smitty
    May 24th, 2010 @ 1:50 pm

    @RSM,
    Must you bring up TH? 😉

  28. Robert Stacy McCain
    May 24th, 2010 @ 6:53 pm

    Joe does have a point: if you’re going to go, why not go out in a blaze of glory?

    “Killed by spurned lovestruck stalker” is better than “Knifed in his sleep by outraged wife.”

    Just sayin’ . . .

  29. Robert Stacy McCain
    May 24th, 2010 @ 1:53 pm

    Joe does have a point: if you’re going to go, why not go out in a blaze of glory?

    “Killed by spurned lovestruck stalker” is better than “Knifed in his sleep by outraged wife.”

    Just sayin’ . . .

  30. Nikki Haley And The Blogger Who Got Links Lucky–UPDATED Sarah Palin & S.C. Republican Party Weigh In | Liberty Pundits Blog
    May 24th, 2010 @ 2:09 pm

    […] usual, Stacy McCain makes me laugh. He says: Dude. Republicans already treat bloggers like whores, metaphorically. Now they’ll […]

  31. Roxeanne de Luca
    May 24th, 2010 @ 7:28 pm

    So, from the updates, we can all assume that Will Folks does not look like a cross between Tim Burns and Scott Brown?

  32. Roxeanne de Luca
    May 24th, 2010 @ 2:28 pm

    So, from the updates, we can all assume that Will Folks does not look like a cross between Tim Burns and Scott Brown?

  33. Brian O'Connor
    May 24th, 2010 @ 7:48 pm

    If Folks is defining an “inappropriate sexual relationship” as sitting in a closet masturbating to pictures of the candidate, then I believe his confession, and I believe that there are quite a few other bloggers out there on the interwebs who owe attractive female candidates a confession/apology.

  34. Brian O'Connor
    May 24th, 2010 @ 2:48 pm

    If Folks is defining an “inappropriate sexual relationship” as sitting in a closet masturbating to pictures of the candidate, then I believe his confession, and I believe that there are quite a few other bloggers out there on the interwebs who owe attractive female candidates a confession/apology.

  35. Americaneocon
    May 24th, 2010 @ 8:33 pm

    American Power tracked-back with, ‘Nikki Haley Denies Blogger Sex Rumors’.

  36. Americaneocon
    May 24th, 2010 @ 3:33 pm

    American Power tracked-back with, ‘Nikki Haley Denies Blogger Sex Rumors’.

  37. Roxeanne de Luca
    May 24th, 2010 @ 9:30 pm

    Stacy – I would say “thank you” for satisfying my curiosity about Folks, but that picture is making me reconsider my heterosexuality*.

    *More Burns, please!

  38. Roxeanne de Luca
    May 24th, 2010 @ 4:30 pm

    Stacy – I would say “thank you” for satisfying my curiosity about Folks, but that picture is making me reconsider my heterosexuality*.

    *More Burns, please!

  39. Joe
    May 24th, 2010 @ 9:51 pm

    “Killed by spurned lovestruck stalker” is better than “Knifed in his sleep Lorena Bobbitt style by outraged wife.”

    Just sayin’ . . .

    Yes. There are things worse than death. If you think with it, I suppose you deserve to lose it.

  40. Joe
    May 24th, 2010 @ 4:51 pm

    “Killed by spurned lovestruck stalker” is better than “Knifed in his sleep Lorena Bobbitt style by outraged wife.”

    Just sayin’ . . .

    Yes. There are things worse than death. If you think with it, I suppose you deserve to lose it.

  41. Joe
    May 24th, 2010 @ 9:53 pm

    Brian O’Connor–excellent point.

  42. Joe
    May 24th, 2010 @ 4:53 pm

    Brian O’Connor–excellent point.

  43. kansas
    May 24th, 2010 @ 10:12 pm

    So would breaking into her house and sniffing her underwear be considered “inappropriate”?

  44. kansas
    May 24th, 2010 @ 5:12 pm

    So would breaking into her house and sniffing her underwear be considered “inappropriate”?

  45. ProfessorTom
    May 24th, 2010 @ 10:18 pm

    @Dell Based on your logic, I’m sure you’ll agree that this is the most irresistible woman alive.

  46. ProfessorTom
    May 24th, 2010 @ 5:18 pm

    @Dell Based on your logic, I’m sure you’ll agree that this is the most irresistible woman alive.

  47. ProfessorTom
    May 24th, 2010 @ 10:20 pm

    Hrm, HTML suppression…RSC, isn’t that akin to censorship?

    The image in question can be viewed here: http://x5d.xanga.com/0ec8346468550125964407/m11903148.jpg

  48. ProfessorTom
    May 24th, 2010 @ 5:20 pm

    Hrm, HTML suppression…RSC, isn’t that akin to censorship?

    The image in question can be viewed here: http://x5d.xanga.com/0ec8346468550125964407/m11903148.jpg

  49. Dell
    May 24th, 2010 @ 10:47 pm

    Professor Tom, at my age it really doesn’t matter! She’d only be after my mansion and millions — all the while sharing her booty with the youthful,Belvedere types among us. 🙂

    Having said that, I wouldn’t kick her out of bed…..unless there was more room on the floor.

  50. Dell
    May 24th, 2010 @ 5:47 pm

    Professor Tom, at my age it really doesn’t matter! She’d only be after my mansion and millions — all the while sharing her booty with the youthful,Belvedere types among us. 🙂

    Having said that, I wouldn’t kick her out of bed…..unless there was more room on the floor.

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