The Other McCain

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SHOCKING: W. Va. Man Impregnates 11-Year-Old Girl to Whom He’s Not Related

Posted on | August 4, 2010 | 18 Comments

The state that made Robert Byrd the longest-serving senator in U.S. history is back in the news:

A St. Albans man accused of sexually assaulting an 11-year-old girl and impregnating her was in court for a preliminary hearing Friday.
Investigators say the alleged incident happened back in May at Michael Lacy’s apartment. The 11-year-old victim was friends with Lacy’s daughter and spent the night there frequently.
“She indicated she had stayed all night at Michael Lacy’s residence and, at that time, she had intercourse with him,” Kanawha County Sheriff’s Detective Sean Snuffer said. “She stated she had not had sexual intercourse with anybody other than Michael Lacy.”

OK, if you think that’s unbearably disgusting, wait until you hear the accused hillbilly’s defense:

Lacy says he didn’t intentionally sexually assault the girl. He told deputies that it was a case of mistaken identity.
“He stated he woke up with someone kissing his neck while he was lying on the couch. He says he thought it was his wife because his wife often did that to him,” Kanawha County Sheriff’s Cpl. J.M. Launi said. “He admitted to kissing her neck and doing some kind of act. He could not confirm or deny actually having sex with her. He couldn’t remember.”
Lacy blames that memory loss on the fact that he had taken Xanax and Lortab that night. He claims that he was groggy and in and out of sleep.
Launi says that soon after the alleged assault, Lacy realized that it was the girl instead of his wife.
“They both came to the conclusion that they would not tell her parents about it unless she in fact became pregnant,” said Launi.

This kind of thing happens all the time in West Virginia. It’s gotten so bad a hillbilly can’t take some prescription painkillers and get a good night’s sleep without being attacked by these fifth-grade strumpets. This man is a victim, your honor!

Michael Lacy’s arrest could make him unavailable to vote Democrat in November, which may explain why Joe Manchin is no longer considered a shoo-in for Senate.

(Hat-tip: Dan Collins on Twitter.)

UPDATE: Michael Wayne Edwards Jr. was arrested in Maryland, where perversion is somewhat more . . . sophisticated.

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Category: Crime, Sex, West Virginia

Comments

  • Joe

    I hope the juries in West Virginia do not fall for such a craven defense.

    Then again, a majority of voters supported Senator Byrd.

  • Joe

    I hope the juries in West Virginia do not fall for such a craven defense.

    Then again, a majority of voters supported Senator Byrd.

  • http://rhymeswithright.mu.nu Rhymes With Right

    Come on, McCain — she’s two years past the age of consent under sharia.

  • http://rhymeswithright.mu.nu Rhymes With Right

    Come on, McCain — she’s two years past the age of consent under sharia.

  • Jones

    Is this the only thing you know about West Virginia, you prick?

  • Jones

    Is this the only thing you know about West Virginia, you prick?

  • http://getalonghome.com Cindy

    You’re trying to get a hillbilly to defend WV, aren’t you? Well, I won’t do it. There’s a reason my grandparents moved to North Carolina. :-)

  • http://getalonghome.com Cindy

    You’re trying to get a hillbilly to defend WV, aren’t you? Well, I won’t do it. There’s a reason my grandparents moved to North Carolina. :-)

  • Live Free Or Die

    No word on what Mr Lacy’s 22 yr. old wife thinks?

  • Live Free Or Die

    No word on what Mr Lacy’s 22 yr. old wife thinks?

  • http://www.linkedin.com/in/bdpaasch Brian Paasch

    “Michael Lacy’s arrest could make him unavailable to vote Democrat in November”

    Silly rabbit, rules are for Republicans. OF COURSE he’ll vote in November.

    -brian

  • http://www.linkedin.com/in/bdpaasch Brian Paasch

    “Michael Lacy’s arrest could make him unavailable to vote Democrat in November”

    Silly rabbit, rules are for Republicans. OF COURSE he’ll vote in November.

    -brian

  • Dandapani

    Hillbilly must have been a follower of Mohammad. Oops, can I say that?

  • Dandapani

    Hillbilly must have been a follower of Mohammad. Oops, can I say that?

  • Joe

    George Clooney should play Michael Lacy in the movie.

  • Joe

    George Clooney should play Michael Lacy in the movie.

  • Kojocaro

    No jones the troll should

  • Kojocaro

    No jones the troll should

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