I Have, In Fact, Fathered One Ridiculously Handsome Fellow

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by Smitty

Not to get too cocky about matters, lest the Almighty put me in check, but the World’s Youngest Blogger really sports a surfeit of cute. I told him that his name is Niklas Dietrich Smith. Then I told him that, as a result of government irresponsibility, he was starting out in the hole 60 large:

That’s a 9 pound, nearly 2 foot long piece of pissed off American right there. Fortunately, we calmed him down for a better pose with dad:

So, yeah, I may be a little busy doing the daddy thing here the next few days.

81 comments

  2. Congrats, Brand New Parents™!!!!

    Don’t forget to buy the shotgun, so he can go possum hunting.

  3. Congratulations! 
    Nine pounds?!?  Wow!!!

    Some parenting surprises you might encounter along the way:

    You’ll learn The Inverse Rule of Parenting:  For example, the baby’s desire for sleep is inversely proportional to how tired you are.   Your baby will poop more than any other baby on the planet.
     
    A large percentage of your pre-birth parenting decisions will go up in smoke.  For example:  “I’ll never buy my baby those dumb Teletubbies!”
     
    There will be aspects of your baby’s personality that don’t come from either side of the family.  At times you may think your child is an alien.
     
    You’ll feel incredibly powerful and vulnerable all at the same time.
     
    Your baby’s beauty will leave you speechless.
     
    You’ll find yourself praying a lot more than you did before the baby was born.

    Congratulations–and enjoy, Daddy!

  13. Congratulations to Mrs. Smitty and welcome to the Outside World to Little Smitty, also good luck to Smitty!

    Nice job with the unshaven look to make it appear you actually did some work, but babies much prefer a clean shave – and leave the stinky after shave alone, try Witch Hazel for a light astringent.

    Baby hint:  a baby’s favorite time to poop is just after you’ve changed him, giving you only enough time to put all the changing stuff away.

  15. Congratulations to the proud parents!  And a fine looking lad too.   If he should happen to voice his opinion a little too much,  I recommend a DVD titled “The Happiest Baby on the Block”.  It’s an amazing DVD and could be quite helpful. 

  16. Congrats, Smitty. Oh, and welcome home. I spent the last 2 years there (Bagram, Kandahar and 18 months on Leatherneck) as a contractor. I trust you’ll get acclimated to the weather soon.

  23. Deborah Leigh here, borrowing Richard’s laptop to send hearty congrats to you and the missus, and to welcome Niklas aka Itty Bitty Smitty to the fray. With hands like those, he surely might follow in your footsteps as a blogger. And those long arms, wow, the kid has a future in hoops (or hops if he works his way through school tending bar).

  24. Congrats Smitty,

    2 minutes of fun and excitement. Nine months later your life has changed (for the better) forever. 😉

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