The Other McCain

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BREAKING: Elizabeth Warren 3.1% Saintly Victim, 96.8% Evil Oppressor UPDATED: Her 1/32nd Legacy of Shame UPDATED: Her Confederate Heritage?

Posted on | May 1, 2012 | 42 Comments

Quick, give this lady a casino license:

Desperately scrambling to validate Democrat Elizabeth Warren’s Native American heritage amid questions about whether she used her minority status to further her career, the Harvard Law professor’s campaign last night finally came up with what they claim is a Cherokee connection — her great-great-great-grandmother.
“She would be 1?32nd of Elizabeth Warren’s total ancestry,” noted genealogist Christopher Child said, referring to the candidate’s great-great-great-grandmother, O.C. Sarah Smith, who is listed on an Oklahoma marriage certificate as Cherokee. Smith is an ancestor on Warren’s mother’s side, Child said.

UPDATE: On behalf of the conservative blogosphere, I would like to apologize to Professor Warren Redbone for our previous skepticism — indeed, cruel mockery — of her claim to be a Native American.

Just because she’s blonde and makes a half-million dollars a year, doesn’t mean she’s not a victim of racist oppression. I’m sure when she was growing up, she faced vicious schoolyard taunts – ”squaw” and “1/16th half-breed” — which so many children must endure.

UPDATE II: Sources in Boston say Democrat strategists have come up with a new theme song for Professor Redbone’s Senate campaign:

UPDATE III: “The other children always laughed at me …”

UPDATE IV: Donald Douglas points out that the Boston Globe is also reporting on Professor 1/16th Half-Breed’s legacy of shame:

A record unearthed Monday shows that Senate candidate Elizabeth Warren has a great-great-great grandmother listed in an 1894 document as a Cherokee, said a genealogist at the New England Historic and Genealogy Society.

Eighteen ninety-four? Professor Warren’s ancestors were victims of racism 70 years before Jesse Jackson marched in Selma!

Meanwhile, we are unable to verify this e-mail we just received from Warren campaign headquarters, informing us that “the White Man’s Law” prevents them from accepting contributions of wampum beads, although “donations of blankets and firewater are especially appreciated.”

UPDATE V: Professor Glenn Reynolds Redskin has twice as much Native American ancestry as Professor Warren.

UPDATE VI: While we await our casino licenses — we’ve all got a Cherokee ancestor somewhere in our family trees, right? — I’ll point out that the Cherokee Nation allied itself with the Confederate States of America, and fought under Gen. Stand Watie, C.S.A.

This means that Professor Warren is almost certainly eligible for membership in the United Daughters of the Confederacy.

Let’s hope those Yankees in Massachusetts will forgive and forget . . .

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Category: Democrats, Massachusetts

Comments

  • RefudiateObama2012

    There are probably tens of millions of us who are at least 1/32 Native American.  My wife is 1/8 Cherokee and I’m 1/16 Cherokee. We don’t list our race as Native American. 

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  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_YWCTNWLSOY5PSSBOXIKMTI7ZJY Laurence

    George Zimmerman being 1/8th black made him a white Hispanic. Elizabeth Warren being 1/32th Native American made Ward Churchill jealous.

  • http://twitter.com/richard_mcenroe richard mcenroe

    Is there such a thing as a “sixteenthoroon?”

  • Pathfinder’s wife

    Yeah, it’s called being an American mutt (which is a compliment in my eyes; mutts are loveable, unassuming, and have hybrid vigor ;) ).

  • http://twitter.com/richard_mcenroe richard mcenroe

    Elizabeth Warren’s campaign jingle:

    http://youtu.be/fe0q8Lq3L2Q

  • http://twitter.com/richard_mcenroe richard mcenroe

    Where’d all the comments go?

  • Pathfinder’s wife

    Gotta admit: my German husband could more easily pass for part Cherokee than this chick.

    And as somebody who did spend a lot of her childhood harassed for being “dark” let me be the first to say: I find her apparent inability to get a good tan offensive.

  • http://getalonghome.com/ GAHCindy

    My children are 1/16 Cherokee. I’ll be sure to remind them they’re oppressed at least six times before breakfast every day. Wouldn’t want them to go through life without capitalizing on racial resentment. What would the neighbors think?!

  • http://thecampofthesaints.org Bob Belvedere

    Damn!…you beat me to the Redbone reference [at least, you stole my Cher one].

  • http://thecampofthesaints.org Bob Belvedere

    We no want blankets unless comely squaws come with them.

  • http://thecampofthesaints.org Bob Belvedere

    I AM THE MELTING POT!

  • joethefatman

     you and me both.twhat  my family calls  pure heinz 57 Pathfinder’s wife calls American mutt

  • Pathfinder’s wife

    No Heinz! I refuse to take up the lexicon of the Teutonic hordes!

    Besides, I like homemade ketchup better anyway.

  • Pathfinder’s wife

    Hey, speak for yourself Runs With Linguine…I want Chief Red Corn (or one of those rugged, young rugby players…).

  • Quartermaster

    She could be enrolled with the Cherokee Nation of Oklahoma. A blood quantum is not required for membership. You simply have to able to trace your ancestory to the Dawes roll and you are in.

  • Pathfinder’s wife

    But it could be a cause of embarrassment if, after claiming all these years, none of her forebears showed up on the thing…

  • http://evilbloggerlady.blogspot.com/ Evi L. Bloggerlady

    Who knows, I may have a few bison genes in my back ground.  

    I linked you against Stacy.  Great videos.  http://evilbloggerlady.blogspot.com/2012/04/hypocrisy-of-elizabeth-warren-there-is.html

  • http://evilbloggerlady.blogspot.com/ Evi L. Bloggerlady

    Do your children claim “oppression” when you ask them to do their homework or clean their rooms?  

  • joethefatman

     i don’t even like ketchup

  • http://getalonghome.com/ GAHCindy

     Oh, absolutely.

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  • Pathfinder’s wife

    Don’t like ketchup?!?  At least hot sauce or bbq???

    [by the way, I level my racist poking at the Teutonic hordes with love in my heart and a smile on my face, which should acquit me just as readily as Slick Willy of any charges]

  • Mahtomedi

    There are lot of poor Sioux in my state (Minnesota), who even look like Crazy Horse himself, but can’t get a nickel of the casino money.  Probably because of  some kind of  ’pull up the ladder’ policy amongst the tribe leaders. 

  • Alborn

    My Native American lineage is Seminole not Cherokee. Many in the Southeast AL and FL have Seminole ancestors and should be able to help the rolls for minority status for employers. I knew there was some reason I was not one of the 1%. Now I know, racism.

  • http://twitter.com/DaTechGuyblog Peter Ingemi

    As I recall Waite was the last Rebel General officer to surrender.

    But rest assured Former Obama Administration official oops I’m sorry I mean chief “Plays the victim” will not be questioned about that slightly confederate past

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/65KXANPVQHQ5ELO7VVUUU5UGZY Maurice

    BOWELS NO MOVE!

  • http://thecampofthesaints.org Bob Belvedere

    I’m also part German, so watch it, baby.

  • http://thecampofthesaints.org Bob Belvedere

    More importantly: where have all the flowers gone?

  • http://thecampofthesaints.org Bob Belvedere

    At least get my Injun name right: Dances With Pulchritude

  • joethefatman

    Not so much on the bbq sauce, but i make a killer hot sauce. Habenero,cayene and jalepeno peppers are just to get started. After all I’m in east by God TEXAS!

  • joethefatman

     My God, what a visual…. anyone got some brain bleach!

  • Dai Alanye

    I have an ancestor named Osceola. Never realized what a big deal this was. (It was his first name, so maybe that doesn’t count.)

  • http://www.leftbankofthecharles.com/ Charles

    I suspect this wouldn’t have been a problem for Elizabeth Warren had she gone back to her native Oklahoma to run for Senate. Doesn’t everyone in Oklahoma claim to be part Cherokee?

    Instead she picked Massachusetts, the one state where people might hold this against her. There is some poetic justice in that.

  • Pathfinder’s wife

    Bob…my husband is 100%,   and sprechen; straight off the boat.

    I find him incredibly…exotic…rowrrr ;)

  • http://bacontime.wordpress.com/ Matthew W

    I had a g-g-g-g grandfather marry a Cherokee around 1800.

    Yippee for me !!!

  • JeffS

    OK, I just noticed this, and I’m surprised no one else here has either:

    “BREAKING: Elizabeth Warren 3.1% Saintly Victim, 96.8% Evil Oppressor”

    3.1% + 96.8% =  99.9% ? 100%

    So, what’s the missing 0.1%, Stacy?  Confederate scion?

  • http://thatmrgguy.wordpress.com/ Mike G.

     Ich bin sprechen sie ein bisschen  Deutsch. How!

    We are what is called euphemistically, a European gang bang. But as is the case with most Americans who were in this country back in the day, one of our ancestors was probably raped and pillaged by Indians. So, yeah, I’m part Native American.

  • http://thecampofthesaints.org Bob Belvedere

    Actually, even before I knew I had Cherokee blood in me, I called myself Native American – Hell, I was born in America, so I’m a bloody native. 

    It always drove the Bolshes mad [which is a very good thing].

  • http://thecampofthesaints.org Bob Belvedere

    Those Sioux should sue.

  • http://thecampofthesaints.org Bob Belvedere

    So that’s where you got the recipe for bacon-infused firewater, eh?

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