The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Florida: The Crazy State

Posted on | July 16, 2012 | 12 Comments

The competition for Craziest State in the Union has always been fierce. It has been said that South Carolina is too small to be a republic, but too large to be a lunatic asylum. Yet in recent decades, California has been recognized as foremost in sheer madness, rivaled only by Louisiana. Now, however, California must yield the crown:

For the first time, Florida’s Lt. Governor Jennifer Carroll is defending herself publicly about being accused of being involved in a sex scandal.
Lt. Governor Carroll made the comments Saturday in Orange Park, at the opening of a campaign office for Mitt Romney.
Carletha Cole claims she walked in on a sexual encounter between Carroll and Carroll’s travel aide, Beatriz Ramos. Cole worked as an administrative assistant to Carroll. Cole is a grandmother and a minister.
Carroll says, “The problem is that when you have these accusations that come out, it’s not just one person you’re attacking. It’s an entire family. My husband doesn’t want to hear that. He knows the type of woman I am. I mean, my kids know the type of woman I am. For twenty-nine years – I’m the one that’s married for twenty-nine years. The accuser is the one that’s been single for a long time. So usually black women that look like me don’t engage in relationships like that.”

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? As I understand this: Cole accuses Carroll of engaging in a lesbian affair with her female assistant, and Carroll’s defense is “usually black women that look like me don’t engage in relationships like that”? What is that supposed to mean?

What does the fact that Carroll is black — or what she looks like — have to do with whether or not she did what she was accused of doing?

Perhaps “Witness 9” has some relevant testimony, because apparently the word “relevant” is pretty damned elastic in Florida.

UPDATE: As longtime readers probably expected, I have spent a good 15 or 20 minutes trying to find a photo of Beatriz Ramos, guessing that she’s probably young and attractive. But my efforts to lock down the “Beatriz Ramos bikini photo” Google-bomb have so far produced no results, because it seems “Beatriz Ramos” is a far more common name than you might expect.

As to what Carroll meant by “black women that look like me,” I think the lieutenant-governor meant, “very attractive black women,” because she is, after all, a Republican, unlike such ugly (and therefore potentially lesbian) black women as Maxine Waters, Corrine Brown or other female members of the Congressional Black Caucus.

Maybe that’s what she meant. I’m just guessing.

I’m also just guessing that Lt. Gov. Carroll’s accuser is one of those disgruntled incompetent types who are a nuisance in any workplace, and who like to threaten lawsuits when they finally screw up bad enough to get fired. OK, maybe that’s more than just a guess:

Cole, who was arrested last October on charges of illegally taping a conversation with the Republican lieutenant governor’s chief of staff, contends Ramos set her trash can on fire after they had an argument. . . .
Cole, who was fired from her job as a senior program analyst last September about a month before she was arrested, also contends Ramos, a special assistant to the lieutenant governor, was living at Carroll’s home. Cole claims that at one point she was ordered to find adjoining hotel rooms for Carroll and Ramos when they traveled.

Ah, yes: The lieutenant governor wants a hotel room that adjoins her travel aide’s hotel room, ergo, they’re having a lesbian affair. The disgruntled incompetent logic is impeccable!

Anybody else guessing that Cole got hired her “senior program analyst” job during a previous Democratic administration in Tallahassee? Anybody else guessing that Cole’s lawyer is a Democrat? Because I’m detecting a distinct aroma about this alleged “sex scandal.”

Smells kinda like . . . Chicago. IYKWIMAITYD.


12 Responses to “Florida: The Crazy State”

  1. Mike G.
    July 16th, 2012 @ 4:07 pm

    Gotta admit we have some doozies here in South Cackalackey, but at least we’re not Florida or California.

  2. JackieLynn Wellfonder
    July 16th, 2012 @ 4:12 pm


  3. Adobe_Walls
    July 16th, 2012 @ 4:13 pm

    A little context:  “Cole is currently under investigation for allegedly leaking recordings of conversations within Carroll’s office to a newspaper reporter. She was arrested last year, denies making any tapes, and claimed that the real reason for her firing was because she discovered the lieutenant governor’s relationship.”

  4. Finrod Felagund
    July 16th, 2012 @ 4:13 pm

    I will say, this is the first news article I’ve ever seen about a Republican that’s in some form of controversy that didn’t state in the article that they are a Republican.  A first for everything!

  5. Adjoran
    July 16th, 2012 @ 4:52 pm

     Heck, we’ll take Jennifer Carroll right now for Andre Bauer and two idiots to be named later.

  6. Adjoran
    July 16th, 2012 @ 4:53 pm

     Okay, I couldn’t wait – how about Will Folks and Larry Marchant?

    We WILL discuss future draft picks if necessary to complete this deal.

  7. Adjoran
    July 16th, 2012 @ 4:54 pm

    Just when you really, really need Sarah Rumpf, she’s off covering Barney Frank’s honeymoon.

  8. robertstacymccain
    July 16th, 2012 @ 6:27 pm

    Speaking of South Cackalackey, how long before Will Folk claims to have had sex with all three of these women?

  9. Mike G.
    July 16th, 2012 @ 7:13 pm

     I was going to throw Mark Sanford in there, but would need an option to be able to throw in Jake Knotts for a future pick.

  10. Florida Source: Sex Accusation Against Lieutenant Governor ‘Total Bullsh*t’ : The Other McCain
    July 16th, 2012 @ 7:27 pm

    […] denies the accusations made by a former state employee who was fired last year.PREVIOUSLY: “Florida: The Crazy State” Category: UncategorizedComments /*BOB BELVEDERE: Neal Rauhauser goes a bridge too […]

  11. Adobe_Walls
    July 16th, 2012 @ 7:40 pm

    That she was there for an office opening for Mitt was a big clue.

  12. zimriel
    July 16th, 2012 @ 8:19 pm

    I think this is BS. 29 years married? That’s wayyy too long to be on the d/l. This would have come out, so to speak, in the early 1990s.