Posted on | October 25, 2012 | 9 Comments
Yesterday, I woke up and turned the TV to MSNBC (which I watch so you don’t have to), and they showed almost the entirety of a speech Obama gave at Davenport, Iowa. Perhaps you can watch it without succumbing to the urge to throw your computer across the room:
It’s particularly painful for me to watch something like that because, as shameful as it is to admit, I used to be a Democrat. I actually believed they were going to do things to help people, and I actually believed in all that idiotic stuff they said about rich people and eeee-vil Republicans.
Once you wake up and realize that they’re just running a scam, that they’re never going to keep their promises, and that it’s all just a cynical hustle to enhance their own power, this kind of stuff doesn’t fool you anymore. Instead, it makes you angry that there are still people so stupid as to fall for it, and not even I could be sarcastic enough to mock Obama as much as he deserves to be mocked. But I decided to give it a good try anyway:
Less than two weeks before Americans finally have a chance to vote him out of office, President Obama has begun shouting at campaign rallies: “I’ve got a plan!”
It’s really a slogan, not a plan, referring to a 20-page pamphlet that is about as plausible as Obama’s notorious June 2008 boast that his election would mark “the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal.” Difficult as it may now be to recall, there were once “spiritually advanced people” who looked at this Chicago machine politician and saw “a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being … who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet.” Obviously, none of these “advanced” people read The American Spectator, but many of them are still out there awaiting this “new way of being,” which is the only possible explanation for the crowds who show up to cheer their hero as he reads his lines from the teleprompter screens.
“We’ve got a long way to go, Iowa, but we’ve come too far to turn back now,” Obama declared at a rally Wednesday in Davenport. “We can’t afford to go back to what got us into this mess. We’ve got to stick with policies that are getting out of this mess. That’s why I’m running for a second term as President of the United States of America.”
The idolatrous horde burst into applause and began chanting, “Four more years!” And their idol hadn’t even told them about The Plan yet. The following passage differs from the official transcript in that it has been punctuated to convey more accurately the cadence of the Lightworker’s delivery: “Now, the good news is I’ve got a plan! That will actually create jobs! That will actually reduce the deficit! That will actually create middle-class security! And unlike Mitt Romney, I’m proud to talk about what’s actually in my plan! Because my math actually adds up!”
Spiritually advanced people don’t usually get too excited about math, but for a Lightworker, they’re willing to make an exception. . . .
Please read the whole thing at The American Spectator and, by the way, I’ve got my own plan: I’m going to rent a car today and head out on the campaign trail. We’ve only got 12 days to go, and I’m planning to go all the way to victory on Election Night, so please hit the freaking tip jar!