The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Please Don’t Tickle Me, Elmo — Or: What’s the Muppet Age of Consent?

Posted on | November 12, 2012 | 17 Comments

The punch lines write themselves — “WHAT DID BIG BIRD KNOW AND WHEN DID HE KNOW IT?” — but of course, this isn’t a joke:

The man who voices the puppet of Elmo on Sesame Street has taken leave amid allegations he had a sexual relationship with a 16-year-old boy.
Kevin Clash, 52, has taken a leave of absence from the popular children’s show after the programme’s lawyers were contacted by a 23-year-old man who claims he had a sexual relationship with the puppeteer seven years ago, when he was aged 16.
TMZ, who reported the allegations, said that Mr Clash had admitted he had a relationship with the man, but only after the accuser was an adult and said the accusations were both false and defamatory.
‘I had a relationship with [the accuser]. It was between two consenting adults and I am deeply saddened that he is trying to make it into something it was not,’ said Mr Clash . . .

So, Elmo admits he’s a gay Muppet who pursues sex with men less than half his age, but insists that he scrupulously avoids sex with those who are under the age of legal consent, so that the day before your 18th birthday, you’re strictly off-limits, but the minute you are legally an adult, you’re fair game for the Furry Red Humping Machine.

Such lofty moral standards . . .

Category: Gays, Scandal, Sex

Comments

17 Responses to “Please Don’t Tickle Me, Elmo — Or: What’s the Muppet Age of Consent?”

  1. smitty
    November 12th, 2012 @ 12:40 pm

    If you can’t marry that muppet, then you clearly have no civil liberties whatsoever.

  2. Mike G.
    November 12th, 2012 @ 12:49 pm

    Seems like I vaguely remember when I was a kid back in the early sixties, stuff like this never made the news. Neighborhood Dads would get together and take care of the problem, IYKWIM.

  3. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    November 12th, 2012 @ 12:51 pm

    Well now we know why Harry Reid loved Sesame Street so much!

  4. JeffS
    November 12th, 2012 @ 12:52 pm

    No wonder the Democrats like Big Bird so much.

  5. Quit Elmo, That Tickles. Or What I Did On My Summer Vacation | That Mr. G Guy's Blog
    November 12th, 2012 @ 1:04 pm

    […] Well, it has come out in the news that Elmo likes to do a little tickling of his own. Here’s Robert Stacy McCain’s take on it; The punch lines write themselves — “WHAT DID BIG BIRD KNOW AND WHEN DID HE KNOW […]

  6. crosspatch
    November 12th, 2012 @ 2:50 pm

    “so that the day before your 18th birthday, you’re strictly off-limits” Depends on the state. Most states its 16. So depending on where this happened, it might not be criminal though it is very sick.

  7. I Just Knew Elmo Was Creepy… | Andrew J. Patrick
    November 12th, 2012 @ 3:45 pm

    […] Other McCain: …the day before your 18th birthday, you’re strictly off-limits, but the minute you are legally an adult, you’re fair game for the Furry Red Humping Machine. […]

  8. Voice Of Elmo Denies Having Had Sex With Underage Boy | The Lonely Conservative
    November 12th, 2012 @ 4:03 pm

    […] myself and leave you to decide, if you believe Clash’s version of events, what you think of gay men who wait until their love interests turn 18 before swooping in.Tweetvaso linkgoogle_ad_client = "ca-pub-1395656889568144"; /* 300×250, created […]

  9. RichFader
    November 12th, 2012 @ 5:42 pm

    I blame Bert and Ernie.

  10. Jim Breed
    November 12th, 2012 @ 5:54 pm

    If PBS doesn’t do it, who will?

  11. BAD Elmo, BAD! « The Daley Gator
    November 12th, 2012 @ 9:18 pm

    […] Other McCain give us the shocking details of what he calls a Furry Red Humping Machine The man who voices the puppet of Elmo on Sesame Street has taken leave amid allegations he had a […]

  12. richard mcenroe
    November 12th, 2012 @ 10:25 pm

    Between Niceklodeon and PBS, it looks like TV really IS harmful for children….

  13. Bob Belvedere
    November 13th, 2012 @ 8:16 am

    Scalia, Lawrence v. Texas, prophet.

  14. Bob Belvedere
    November 13th, 2012 @ 8:17 am

    Maybe Newton SS Minnow wuz right.

  15. Seth
    November 13th, 2012 @ 9:04 am

    The Tickle Me kids product this year is a plant that closes its leaves when you Tickle It. You gotta love nature
    http://www.ticklemeplant.com

  16. Petraeus Scandal: ‘Tawdry’, ‘Lurid’, ‘Farcical’ [Updated Below] « The Camp Of The Saints
    November 13th, 2012 @ 7:22 pm

    […] you haven’t heard about the gimcrack Elmo story, please check out Stacy McCain’s report here.  I feel most sad for the young children who like […]

  17. S.E.DeGraw
    November 13th, 2012 @ 8:41 pm

    “… but the minute you are legally an adult, you’re fair game
    for the Furry Red Humping Machine.”

    Very professional. Just had to have a smidge of immaturity and rudeness in this article somewhere.