The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Iranian Space Monkey Jokes

Posted on | January 28, 2013 | 13 Comments

Of course, the news that Iran has launched a monkey into space is no laughing matter. It’s like the North Korean “space program,” a purportedly peaceful (nudge, nudge) way of flight-testing an ICBM. So once they get a nuclear weapon, the fanatical Jew-hating mullahs now have the means of delivering that warhead to Tel Aviv — or perhaps on some suitable infidel target right here in the Great Satan.

Look on the bright side: If Ahmadinejad were to nuke Manhattan, we’d no longer have to put up with the New York Times. And if there were a slight malfunction with the guidance system in the Iranian ICBM, it might go off-course and annihilate the cast of Jersey Shore.



13 Responses to “Iranian Space Monkey Jokes”

  1. jakee308
    January 28th, 2013 @ 6:37 pm

    Ahmadinejad was their first astronaut?

  2. Mike G.
    January 28th, 2013 @ 6:37 pm

    I thought they opened for “Porno For Pyros” back in the day.

  3. Mike G.
    January 28th, 2013 @ 6:39 pm

    Or was it Cock Rock For Cannibals?

  4. Mike G.
    January 28th, 2013 @ 6:42 pm

    We’re all wrong…the Iranian Space Monkeys opened for the famous band…Accidental Goat Sodomy.

  5. jsn2
    January 28th, 2013 @ 6:51 pm

    The Iranian Spank Monkey Program is more like it.

  6. M. Thompson
    January 28th, 2013 @ 7:17 pm

    Hey, no bringing up “Nice job fixing it” to those villains.

  7. Dandapani
    January 28th, 2013 @ 8:09 pm

    I prefer his stage name, Admiremydinnerjacket.

  8. BruceC
    January 28th, 2013 @ 8:58 pm

    So Aquadinnerjacket was “Launching the Space Monkey,” huh? Pretty soon he’ll need glasses.

  9. Opinador Fthagn !
    January 28th, 2013 @ 9:17 pm

    Every Friday iranian mullahs go frothing at the mouth about the “sons of monkeys”… does it mean they’d just sent a jew into space ?

  10. Thomas L. Knapp
    January 29th, 2013 @ 7:56 am

    “So once they get a nuclear weapon, the fanatical Jew-hating mullahs …”

    Of course that will never happen, as the fanatical Jew-hating mullahs believe that possession and use of nuclear weapons is haraam and have forbidden Iran’s government to pursue getting them.

  11. gloogle gloogle
    January 29th, 2013 @ 3:19 pm

    Damn, sorry I didn’t see this post sooner.

    When I was in college, there was a punk band called “Fearless Iranians from Hell”. I never thought that name would be topped, but “The Iranian Space Monkeys” is pretty good…

  12. RichFader
    January 29th, 2013 @ 4:04 pm

    I hear Iranian Space Monkey is playing Coachella. And then Lollapalooza. Why not? If they toured with Porno for Pyros, they’re probably old friends with Perry Farrell.

  13. Colonel Haiku
    January 29th, 2013 @ 9:20 pm

    can’t make this stuff up

    first chimp mullah to the M00n

    teh Thirteenth Mahdi?