Posted on | September 6, 2013 | 61 Comments
Oliver Darcy has the mug shot of Samantha Lynne Goudie, who famously had a Breathalyzer-measured blood-alcohol content of .341 when she was arrested at a football game last week:
“Just went to jail #yolo,” Goudie, using the Twitter handle @Vodka_samm, tweeted.
“Blew a .341 in jail,” she added, saying “I’m going to get .341 tattooed on me because its so epic.”
Goudie, later tweeting “F**K THE HATERS,” deleted or deactivated her Twitter account sometime on Tuesday.
Goudie is a “student” at the University of Iowa, and one wonders what sort of academic rigor is possible when consuming such brain-damaging quantities of booze. She’s into tattoos.
Do girls usually get tattoos when they’re sober? I think not. Is there a correlation between drunkeness and sexual promiscuity? I think so.
Just checked the 2012 exit polls: 60% of voters ages 18-24 voted for Obama. What do you want to bet @Vodka_samm is a Democrat?
Michigan teacher Neal Erickson is probably a Democrat, too. And is now in prison, where Democrats belong.
Mary McCarthy, an editor at Russ Smith’s Slice.com, seemed offended by my “fat lesbian crisis” post. Years ago, I wrote a few pieces for Russ’s epic tabloid, NY Press, but he sold that and the legendary era of the late ’90s NY Press is now just a fading memory.
Trust me, it was awesome, unlike Mary McCarthy:
I’ve been a professional writer for nearly 20 years, including work in the Washington Post, Philadelphia Inquirer, Baltimore Sun, Victorian Homes magazine, many regional magazines in Maryland (two as Editor: What’s Up Eastern Shore and Chesapeake Family) and several newspaper humor columns (‘Quite Contrary’ for Frederick Gazette and Centreville Record Observer). . . .
I’ve appeared as a speaker at national conferences including BlogHer (’10, ’12), BloggyCon (’11, ’12), and the regional Bay to Ocean Writers Conference (’10, ’11, ’12, ’13, ’14). This fall, I start as a teacher in blogging and social media at The Writer’s Center in Washington, DC.
So I could slag her, but then my Twitter feed would fill up with angry people who want to tell me how wonderful Mary McCarthy is, and what an awful person I am for saying bad things about her, and threatening to sue me for defamation, harassment, etc.
And she’s too boring to deserve that. YOLO.
Freshman orientation for university students in Nova Scotia apparently includes Introduction to Canadian Poetry:
Y is for your sister
O is for oh so tight
U is for underage
N is for no consent
G is for grab that ass
Even in Canada, some people are upset about that:
Colin Dodds, president of the University, released this statement: ‘A recent Orientation Week event involving student leaders chanting inappropriate and offensive lyrics is completely inexcusable and violates our University’s commitment to upholding the values of equality and respect.
‘My colleagues and I were shocked by this incident and are deeply sorry that our students, and now the community at large, were exposed to disturbing sexually charged material.
‘The University regrets that this was allowed to occur and we apologize unreservedly.
‘I am taking measures to ensure it does not happen in the future.’
As bad as that particular sample of Canadian poetry was, was it really that much worse than the average Neil Young song?
Law-abiding citizens with guns? What an excellent idea!
Oberlin College? Not such an excellent idea.
Is pornography killing the economy? Well, it’s not helping Anthony Weiner.
Hey, remember when liberal celebrities were against war and stuff?
Do you really want to read more about Syria? Life’s too short. YOLO.