BREAKING: Identity Theft Industry Considering Healthcare.gov Bailout

Posted on | December 4, 2013 | 25 Comments

by Sissypuss the Blog Kitty

Recently I sat down with Howard T. Mendacio-Ledgerdemain (HTML), an old acquaintance and expert on The Identity Theft Industry. TITI has been flattened by the bad economy, much as anyone else. However, as this interview shows, TITI is actually well-positioned to stage an intervention, offering a lift for the sagging enrollment numbers at Healthcare.gov.

Sissypuss: You guys are criminals! Who would even reach out to you?
HTML: Be nice, now. I am merely a humble consultant, workin’ hard, tryin’ to locate and adhere to whatever the law seems to indicate at a given hour. People come to me with questions, and I offer purely hypothetical guidance, you see. People who cruise in orbits very, very close to the Resolute Desk. And who am I to turn them away?
S: So you’re talking about a White House advisor?
HTML: Could be, could be. But one always strives to maintain an Area Of Uncertainty in these matters, you see? Not unlike the Affordable Care Act itself.
S: So how exactly can criminals help the White House?
HTML: Must we be so pejorative? These are concerned citizens, just like Congress, who are being tasked to assist taxpayers in doing something for their own good, namely, get insurance.
S: Can you be more specific about the verb “assist”?
HTML: One of the chief impediments to enrolling, other than a website built by gerbils on Drano, is that the chief audience for ObamaCare–people who can’t spot a bad deal on a ballot or an insurance policy–also aren’t always swift about remembering where they live. And even when they have that information written down, and can read the information, they are not always quite so coordinated about entering it into a gerbil-crafted website. All that texting is bad for data entry. I’m not blaming the victim here. It’s really a complement to how well TITI’s education affiliates have blown up these peoples’ minds.
S: Not everyone could manage to sound so enthusiastic about a bad website with bad customers.
HTML: I’m a consultant, kitty: I’m a ray of sunshine to all needing their lemons turned into a Limon Collins.
S: And so what exactly happens?
HTML: Well, you’ve got a website that needs better numbers, you’ve got information about a pool of people, and you’ve got, let’s say, a catalyst. You should be on about a catalyst, no? Let’s say, hypothetically, that a bunch of people who needed insurance just kinda got it, and Healthcare.gov just kinda got the numbers it needs. Everyone’s happy. What’s not to like?
S: Hm. The transition from a government legally mandating you get insurance to a situation where you go to the mailbox and discover that, by magic, it’s all been done for you isn’t a large leap.
HTML: No, not at all.

Update: linked by the mighty Bill Quick, who, by the way, writes some rollicking good stuff. Thanks also to Regular Right Guy.

Category: Health Care, humor

Comments

25 Responses to “BREAKING: Identity Theft Industry Considering Healthcare.gov Bailout”

MrEvilMatt
December 4th, 2013 @ 1:43 pm

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CHideout
December 4th, 2013 @ 1:43 pm

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Lockestep1776
December 4th, 2013 @ 1:43 pm

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Resista38176897
December 4th, 2013 @ 1:43 pm

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Citzcom
December 4th, 2013 @ 1:43 pm

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jwbrown1969
December 4th, 2013 @ 1:43 pm

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doubledittos
December 4th, 2013 @ 1:44 pm

RT @AmNewsWatch: BREAKING: Identity Theft Industry Considering http://t.co/Qg6npCeaoM Bailout http://t.co/DVxFffAVwr #tcot #p2 #news
pjamericanpatri
December 4th, 2013 @ 1:59 pm

RT @MrEvilMatt: BREAKING: Identity Theft Industry Considering http://t.co/Hzqm6fZW7M Bailout: by Sissypuss the Blog Kitty Recen… http://t…
rsmccain
December 4th, 2013 @ 2:02 pm

RT @commonpatriot: via @rsmccain: BREAKING: Identity Theft Industry Considering http://t.co/yrRLDb0At5 Bailout http://t.co/AoQge2i4z2 #tcot
PubliusNV
December 4th, 2013 @ 2:02 pm

RT @commonpatriot: via @rsmccain: BREAKING: Identity Theft Industry Considering http://t.co/yrRLDb0At5 Bailout http://t.co/AoQge2i4z2 #tcot
Adjoran
December 4th, 2013 @ 2:22 pm

In South Carolina, the people whose job was to ensure the computer records were secure thought locking the building at night was enough, and hackers obtained all the records of those who paid taxes to the state. So the state has paid for ID protection for all those who could have been affected, now going into the second year of protection.

One wonders if the federal government is going to end up having to do the same for those who use the ObamaCare website. It reportedly doesn’t just have insufficient security, but in fact none at all.
LeMonJames
December 4th, 2013 @ 2:25 pm

“HTML”.

Heh.
Evi L. Bloggerlady
December 4th, 2013 @ 2:29 pm

I was listening to Hannity and he had on a bunch of computer consultants discussing healthcare.gov. There cursory looking at the site shows it does not have the normal security features sites such as Amazon have. If Amazon is a 10, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being best; healthcare.gov falls around 1 or 2. That it cost more than $600 million is criminal, given that you could have built that site and all the servers and back end support for less than $50 million (and possibly far less than that).
Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here | Daily Pundit
December 4th, 2013 @ 2:30 pm

[…] BREAKING: Identity Theft Industry Considering Healthcare.gov Bailout : The Other McCain […]
ZillaStevenson
December 4th, 2013 @ 3:55 pm

RT @commonpatriot: via @rsmccain: BREAKING: Identity Theft Industry Considering http://t.co/yrRLDb0At5 Bailout http://t.co/AoQge2i4z2 #tcot
Obama Donkey Kong? | Regular Right Guy
December 4th, 2013 @ 4:16 pm

[…] by “fix” Barry means direct you to a 1-800-Number where you can divulge your most sensitive personal information to someone named Lefty or […]
PubliusNV
December 4th, 2013 @ 6:38 pm

BREAKING: Identity Theft Industry Considering http://t.co/cH8QG7DhAC Bailout http://t.co/KiuPbzfMoZ
Regular Right Guy
December 4th, 2013 @ 6:48 pm

And thank you Blog Kitty. 🙂
smitty_one_each
December 4th, 2013 @ 6:49 pm

“And thank you Blog Kitty” — Regular Right Guy http://t.co/Ny5lrVdJ6c
smitty
December 4th, 2013 @ 6:51 pm

He puts in the occasional appearance with a truly absurd offering. Probably need to cut back on his catnip.
Quartermaster
December 4th, 2013 @ 7:08 pm

I’d say he’s on something a lot more powerful than Catnip.
barbaylive
December 5th, 2013 @ 12:41 am

BREAKING: Identity Theft Industry Considering http://t.co/SyHbGfBY3V Bailout http://t.co/OiKJzZauTw >Obamacare Ineptocracy
andilinks
December 5th, 2013 @ 12:43 am

RT @barbaylive: BREAKING: Identity Theft Industry Considering http://t.co/SyHbGfBY3V Bailout http://t.co/OiKJzZauTw >Obamacare Ineptocracy
NtoAlaska
December 5th, 2013 @ 12:46 am

RT @barbaylive: BREAKING: Identity Theft Industry Considering http://t.co/SyHbGfBY3V Bailout http://t.co/OiKJzZauTw >Obamacare Ineptocracy
MaxMagnet1
December 5th, 2013 @ 12:49 am

RT @barbaylive: BREAKING: Identity Theft Industry Considering http://t.co/SyHbGfBY3V Bailout http://t.co/OiKJzZauTw >Obamacare Ineptocracy