Posted on | May 17, 2014 | 47 Comments
Anyone who studies feminist theory quickly realizes a truth first expressed by Women’s Liberation pioneer Ti-Grace Atkinson in 1971: “Feminism is the theory. Lesbianism is the practice.” That is to say, when feminists condemn “patriarchy,” they are not merely condemning all men, but also heterosexuality, viewing heterosexual women as victims of male oppression. Insofar as any woman actually desires love and sex with men, according to feminist theory, this is only because she has been brainwashed by the patriarchy to believe that this is what she wants.
In other words, feminists think all heterosexual women are stupid.
The average woman would likely be shocked and angered if she was aware of the insulting way in which feminists describe heterosexuality as an instrument of male domination, a description that insults normal women by portraying them as willing participants in their own humiliation as inferiors. We have discussed feminist psychologist Dee Graham here before. In her influential 1994 book, Loving to Survive, Graham depicted male sexuality as inherently violent — “sexual terror” — and portrayed women’s heterosexuality as a condition of the inferiority imposed upon them by this patriarchal terrorism.
“Male sexual violence against women and ‘normal’ heterosexual intercourse are essential to patriarchy because they establish the dominance of the penis over the vagina, and thus the power relations between the sexes. . . . When a male sexually violates a female, he is doing work for patriarchy. Men’s sexual violence against women is the primary vehicle through which the dominance of the penis over the vagina is established. . . .
“There are numerous examples of ways that heterosexual practice establishes male domination in women’s most private and personal spheres. . . . Sex is defined from men’s perspective and is what gives men pleasure. . . . Men blame women for male sexual arousal, saying men cannot control their sexual urges. Men see women as objects for their sexual gratification. Men tell women they should perform sexual acts women don’t want to perform because it makes men feel good.”
— Dee Graham, Loving to Survive: Sexual Terror, Men’s Violence, and Women’s Lives
Graham’s conflation of violence and male sexuality is deliberate, as is her implicit denial that heterosexuality is normal — thus, her use of scare-quotes around the word “normal” — and her denial that any woman could ever really want to have sex with a man or experience sexual pleasure with a man. There are no good men in Graham’s book, nor are there any happy heterosexual women. Loving to Survive discusses the alternative of lesbianism at great length in entirely positive terms, e.g.:
To the extent that women harbor negative attitudes toward lesbians and lesbianism, we demonstrate identification with men. To the extent that women express negative attitudes toward lesbians in our words and deeds, we strengthen patriarchy. The hesitation of women as a group to endorse feminism and to accept lesbianism and celibacy as valid sexual choices strongly suggests that women have taken on men’s perspective to such an extent that we see our oppressors as friends and our actual allies as enemies.
This is what feminism teaches: Men are women’s oppressors and lesbians are women’s allies, Graham says. The only reason women have sex with men, Graham says, is as a way to cope with male violence, and women who “harbor negative attitudes toward lesbians” only do so because they “have taken on men’s perspective.”
Derogation of heterosexual women, and the treatment of male sexuality as violent and pathological, are almost ubiquitous in feminist writing on sexuality. Readers will not be surprised to learn that the feminist blogger Radical Wind — “PIV is always rape, OK?” — is a huge fan of Dee Graham. Graham spent decades as a professor at the University of Cincinnati, and among the feminist sources she quotes in Loving to Survive is longtime Michigan State University professor Marilyn Frye.
“Fucking is a large part of how females are kept subordinated to males. It is a ritual enactment of that subordination which constantly reaffirms the fact of subordination and habituates both men and women to it, both in body and in imagination. . . . A great deal of fucking is also presumed to preserve and maintain women’s belief in their own essential heterosexuality, which in turn (for women as not for men) connects with and reinforces female hetero-eroticism, that is, man-loving in women. It is very important to the maintenance of male-supremacy that men fuck women, a lot. So it is required; it is compulsory. . . . A man who does not or will not fuck women is not pulling his share of the load. He is not a loyal and dependable member of the team.”
— Marilyn Frye, The Politics of Reality: Essays in Feminist Theory
Frye’s book has been hailed as a feminist “classic.” Her work, like Graham’s, is frequently cited and included in Women’s Studies curricula, so that many thousands of college and university students are annually taught this: Sexual intercourse with men “is a ritual enactment of [women’s] subordination,” and heterosexuality is never the authentic desire of women, but rather merely their “belief,” imposed on them by men — “required” of women, “compulsory” for women — because it is necessary “to the maintenance of male-supremacy.”
The vast majority of women are heterosexual, and they are not too stupid to know they are deliberately insulted by feminists.
As for me as a father of six, however, no one can say I have not been “pulling my share of the load,” IYKWIMAITYD.