The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Bad Advice From Bad Women

Posted on | January 3, 2016 | 34 Comments

Charlotte Shane (@CharoShane) is a slut who writes about sex. There are a lot of these around lately. I blame Sex and the City, or maybe let’s go back further and blame Helen Gurley Brown. At any rate, the ambition of every young female English major nowadays is (a) to have sex with dozens of men and (b) get paid to write about it. It’s journalistic prostitution, really — exhibitionism justified by the excuse that the Let-Me-Tell-You-About-My-Sex-Life racket is about feminist empowerment.

There is an interesting 21st-century double-standard about the sexual memoir genre, namely that men aren’t allowed to engage in it. A man who boasts about his sexual exploits is condemned as a misogynist, as Daryush “Roosh V” Valizadeh could testify. Everything we are allowed to know about sex, it seems, must be filtered through a feminist lens, and men’s perspective on sex are therefore unwelcome. Feminism is the belief that men are always wrong about everything, especially sex. And so the question of what guys enjoy sexually is never asked, let alone answered, because feminism is not about making men happy.

So Charlotte Shane is eager to share how she “blazed through my twenties” in promiscuous splendor but — plot twist! — now she’s met Mister Right and decided monogamy is what she wants:

I didn’t expect to become monogamous — I thought I’d be comfortably faithless forever — but I grow more and more grateful for this development by the day, in no small part because it saved me from adding to the grim parade of temporary partners who had come before. The problem with “only f–king” isn’t that sex is dangerous or wrong outside the confines of certain social containers like the boyfriend label or an engagement ring. It’s that in 2015 and before, casual sex, as practiced by straight Americans, was routinely bereft of physical pleasure, mutual respect, and interpersonal maturity. Hook ups were supposed to be fun but they… well, weren’t. And straight women, who bore the bulk of this failure, were finally fed up.
Why did casual sex suck so much? Because very few straight cis men were as libidinous, skilled, or nice as they needed to be to make the enterprise worthwhile. When arranging my “casual encounters,” I hoped for low level warmth and good naturedness to accompany fun sex, but this modest combination was exceedingly rare. And in 2015, I watched friend after friend suffer the same relentless indignities I’d endured in 2014, before [her current boyfriend] entered the scene. “Being straight is a constant exercise in degradation,” I found myself telling them because it was the most sincere validation I could summon. We’d been told that men were insatiable, that they’d be thrilled by our appetites and eagerness and carefully cultivated hotness, yet we kept bumping up against potheads and sluggards who seemed severally sexually under-motivated in spite of having signed up for a site designed to get them laid. Then there were the erectile problems courtesy of bad diets, prescription or recreational drugs, and performance anxiety. Those who could get it up, inexcusably, often mimicked porn moves with an alarming degree of sincerity. I daresay even the rare vaginal orgasm-er among us is shocked by the ignorance behind such cartoonish penetrative encounters.

Notice she blames (a) heterosexuality and (b) men, not necessarily in that order, for her failure to find happiness in hedonism. The LGBT community has a monopoly on “physical pleasure, mutual respect, and interpersonal maturity,” she seems to believe. No one is allowed to ask if maybe Charlotte Shane’s problem was . . . Charlotte Shane.

Bad judgment and bad morals are generally not a formula for success in life, and the fact that the men with whom Charlotte Shane hooked up via Tinder were all inadequate, disrespectful and/or immature should not surprise us. As I have explained elsewhere, the dating market is full of bad guys because all of the good guys already have girlfriends and good guys don’t cheat. Past a certain age — maybe as early as 25 — the singles scene is nothing but culls and rejects. The keepers are already taken, and if you’re still in the dating scene when you’re 30, you’re rummaging through piles of damaged goods and leftovers in the discount bin.

The one thing Charlotte Shane cannot do is consider that she could ever be at fault. Exactly how “mature” and “respectful” is she? Not very. Promiscuity is inherently immature, and it’s not respectful, either.

All the men she ever had sex with were ignorant and incompetent, she would have her readers believe, because that’s just how heterosexual men are. There are apparently no exceptions to this categorical denunciation (except, of course, the guy she’s dating now) and she issues a sweeping condemnation of males:

After that came the inevitable emotional abuse, either through casual cruelty or empathetic laxity. Ok, we get it: masculinity doesn’t indoctrinate its conscripts in thoughtfulness, kindness, or basic manners. But too many otherwise intelligent grown men wallowed in their narcissism and sexism, gaslighting one-time partners into believing that an expectation of decency was evidence of simpering clinginess rather than indicative of healthy self-respect. If a woman initiated a repeat physical encounter, she was regarded as desperate to date. If she stood up for herself after being treated rudely, she was “crazy.” Whenever a woman was something other than merely sexually pliable and passive, her presence suddenly became onerous. Straight men, in turns out, largely had no idea how to actually be friends with the women they would have once called “f–k buddies.”

You can read the rest. The feminist echo chamber permits no man to speak a word of correction to fools like Charlotte Shane, and so the only thing young women know about sex is what such fools tell them.

The only advice feminists ever accept is bad advice from bad women. Feminists never listen to good women and, because feminists believe men are always wrong about everything, we are not even allowed to say a word in our own defense. The reason feminists think all men are stupid is because no smart man would ever talk to a feminist.



  • Red

    I just discovered this mentally ill whore last week when she was referenced in a deplorable article at Vice by Chelsea G. Summers(you can find her on Twitter if you do wish)called, “A Year in Male Tears”, which was a celebration of discriminating against and hating on men! Oh, joy! Here’s Shane’s quote, which for the most part advocates “misandry as praxis”, and is another way of saying man hate needs to be a part of political discourse and used to harm men, well, white men anyway:

    “For me, the insistence that misandry is mostly only a joke undermined its most potentially subversive quality: women’s unequivocal assertion of their own rage.” Misandry-as-meme, Shane suggests, lets people off the hook because of its jokiness, its exclusivity, and its ironic impotence. But Shane sees a future for misandry as praxis: “My larger hope,” she says, “is that we find a way of engaging with each other that uses misandry’s cathartic power, condemnation of masculinity, and emphasis on female strength towards a more long-term restorative end.”

    What exactly is this long term restorative end? One can only guess, but it’s why people like Ms. Shane, and her ilk need to be crushed.

    Did I mention she’s also a prostitute?

    In any case, I came across her ridiculous article which, let’s face it, basically states as clear as day that one of the major planks of the feminist project, appropriating a male sexual appetite and sexual behavior, is in fact wrong, and leads to despair. Of course, Ms. Shane being the feminist dung heap that she is still blames most of this on men, and acts as if the conclusion she’s reached is somehow radical.

  • Red

    Oh, here’s the link to that enlightening Vice article which I strongly suggest reading.

  • Fail Burton

    What I love about this goofy woman is she thinks the men she hooked up with can’t sense her obvious contempt for men. Instead she lays that off on the men simply being jerks. That’s not including the fact she seemed to be arranging encounters that differed from prostitution only in having a longer session.

    I’m no prude but I can’t imagine routinely arranging encounters over the internet with total strangers. Obvious medical problems aside, it seems boring to choose women who like your photo and know nothing about your demeanor. Since she has sex with men and not women she seems to believe it’s an exclusively male problem to be able to immediately sense a woman has no warmth for men in general. No doubt her male counterpart who has a general contempt for women is similarly bemused at why his gropings are so desultory and lacking in enthusiasm.

    Given all that, it’s no surprise her men have trouble getting it up since there’s no indication she in any way did anything to help. It’s not really a situation conducive to fun. If all I had to go by were the first sessions I would declare my love life a failure. You have to get to know people, not barge in, have a glass of wine and start banging away. That works with fork lifts, not humans.

  • Quartermaster

    She has a whore’s attitude towards men. While I don’t blame her, she inflicted the problem on herself, and I do blame her for that.

    Her boyfriend won’t last long and she’ll never bond to a man. Her “N” count is too high.

  • RS

    It’s that in 2015 and before, casual sex, as practiced by straight Americans, was routinely bereft of physical pleasure, mutual respect, and interpersonal maturity.

    That’s an interesting assertion. One wonders how many straight Americans she canvassed in order to definitively diagnose this problem. Did she research the thousands of married couples with children who’ve been together for decades and cannot imagine a life without the other? The lack of self-awareness is absolutely stunning. She can’t seem to realize that people who use these “dating” apps are solely interested in their own transitory pleasure and not in forming meaningful relationships? Imagine a male bemoaning the lack of girls he can “take home to mom” where his only experiences consist of lap dances from coke-addled strippers.

    (BTW, The Onion always seems to be ahead of the curve on this sort of article.

  • robertstacymccain

    Her boyfriend won’t last long … Her “N” count is too high.

    This is also my suspicion. Sex is a matter of habit. People who become accustomed to having a new partner every six weeks will probably find it difficult to lose that habit, and we must ask of such people, “Why did they never previously have a stable relationship?” Ms. Shane is not a bad-looking woman, so what’s her problem? Why did no one ever love her enough to keep her? Why was she always used and cast aside? The answer might be right in front of us — she is incapable of accepting responsibility for her own failures, and instead always blames men for whatever goes wrong in her love life. She cannot even admit that she made bad choices. She is apparently the type who likes the Bad Boys, which tends to be an incurable addiction, because such women are so seldom able to view their problem rationally.

  • RS

    “Why did they never previously have a stable relationship?”

    She wasn’t looking for one. She bought into the “sex positive,” feminist lie that fulfillment comes from tickling one’s genitalia as opposed to spiritual intimacy, at which she undoubtedly scoffed as being hopelessly old-fashioned. Yet, as her post indicates, she still doesn’t get it. She’s never going to find the sort of intimacy she craves by hopping in the sack with whomever is willing to do so.

  • robertstacymccain

    I can’t imagine routinely arranging encounters over the internet with total strangers.

    My problem is not that I can’t imagine it, but rather that I can. I’m very glad that I got married before the Internet came into existence, because I would hate to be single in the Internet age. I see or hear stories about what young people (and some not-so-young people) do in their Internet-enabled encounters and think, “I’m glad I’m not out there.”

    What trouble would I have gotten myself into, if there had been cellphone cameras and Facebook and email and Tinder back when I was young and single? Considering how much trouble I got into without any of that stuff, I am frightened for future generations because the Internet is forever. I warn my kids about this problem.

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  • Dana

    Our host’s wisdom is unchallengable!

    As I have explained elsewhere, the dating market is full of bad guys because all of the good guys already have girlfriends and good guys don’t cheat. Past a certain age — maybe as early as 25 — the singles scene is nothing but culls and rejects. The keepers are already taken, and if you’re still in the dating scene when you’re 30, you’re rummaging through piles of damaged goods and leftovers in the discount bin.

    It is, however, also incomplete: once past 25 or so, the women in the singles scene are just as much the damaged goods and leftovers in the discount bin.

    There are plenty of articles out there noting that women who have finally found the right man are still worried about their “number,” as in the number of men with whom they’ve previously copulated. I’ve seen articles in which the women are supposed to claim that their number is ten, whether it is actually ten or higher than ten, and remember one discussion, amongst a bunch of married couples at a Hallowe’en party, in which the stated number should always be five, the laughter indicating that all participants had numbers higher than five. This shows that people, men and women alike, are actually concerned that their number might be too high, way too high.

  • Durasim

    Ms. Shane reposted a tweet from 2014.

    “Is it feminist to have a father”

    Think we can call guess the answer to that.

  • Ilion

    Did she research the thousands of married couples with children who’ve been together for decades and cannot imagine a life without the other?

    Squareville! — that would be her attitude about that.

    You just don’t get it! She’s supposed to be able to be a (barren) slut, changing “partners” with near the frequency that normal people change their underwear — and treating them with as much concern — and *still* experience the spiritual and emotional oneness those squares-with-kids have.

  • robertstacymccain

    The celebration of promiscuity always implies a negative view of chastity and fidelity, and is intended to make monogamous people feel ashamed of themselves. According to liberals, young people who are not “sexually active” are timid prudes, and married people are supposed to feel embarrassed about their boring lives. Liberals hate marriage and hate religion, and therefore stigmatize those who live according to religious values that are associated with marital happiness.

  • Ilion

    Is it feminist to have children who have fathers?

  • Steve Skubinna

    So she has lots and lots of sex with different partners, choosing of course men who are only interested in having lots and lots of sex with different partners. And when it turns out to be emotionally unsatisfying, it’s the fault of those promiscuous men who approach sex as nothing but a game of numbers?

    Maybe we all could chip in a buy her a clue.

  • DeadMessenger

    You had me at “feminist dung heap”.

  • Durasim

    Hell no.

    Unless maybe the “father” is some kind of transsexual.

  • concern00

    As with everything on the left, the so-called celebration is simply cover for the attack on traditional (Christian) morals and values.

  • Dana

    As a heavy equipment operator, which includes forklifts, allow me to say that a real operator doesn’t just barge in and start banging away.

  • Dana

    I shall try my hardest — pun most definitely intended — not to feel embarrassed about my boring married life.

  • Dana

    A clue that she could actually see would be beyond our ability to buy.

  • Dana

    Our host asked:

    Ms. Shane is not a bad-looking woman, so what’s her problem? Why did no one ever love her enough to keep her? Why was she always used and cast aside?

    When young women are told that 19 is just too young to marry, and that they shouldn’t plan on getting married or settling down until their late twenties — if that early — then they have automatically relegated themselves to the reject pile, both for themselves and the men left from whom to choose.

    And when men are told that the better women are going to wait until their late twenties to get married and settle down, the men will do what comes naturally, and pursue the women who are fornicating around throughout their late teens and earlier twenties, and develop exactly the attitude toward women one would expect of them.

  • Fail Burton

    I once banged a pallet jack with a forklift. I dropped the jack’s two fully loaded wooden pallets during break, moved the jack out of them and put them on top of the forks. That’s warehouse humor. Heh-heh.

  • Robert What?

    My advice to the poor sap she is with now: run – do not walk – to the nearest exit.

  • Fail Burton

    Her life as a prostitute seemed very thrilling. I’m sure dressing in nurse’s pantyhose and prancing around for 3 hours for some demented fool won’t skew her opinions about men at all.

  • Red

    I think having to listen to her talk feminist shit day after day and criticize your every behavior through a feminist lens would be bloody torture. Just reading their rhetoric on Twitter and other social media is an absolutely revolting experience, so I can only imagine what that would be like in your home or as part of serious relationship? I doubt all the blowjobs in the world could possibly be enough to keep the mind numbing pain of feminist discourse in your ear at bay. The bottle would be my real lover in that situation. It would ultimately come down to packing a bag, and slipping out the window after she fell asleep, and then hoping a false rape accusation doesn’t follow.

  • Daniel Freeman

    The common wisdom is that a woman with an N count of six or higher is incapable of bonding (oxytocin resistance?), so the correct number is five. Of course everyone is different, but that’s what people say.

  • Dana

    The party to which I referred was a Hallowe’en party, with the hostess wearing a Jessica Rabbit dress!

    And, OMG, did it fit her well! The slit went so high that she had to have been going commando, and the possibility exists that I violated the strictures of Matthew 5:28. She and her husband were the primary ones joking about admitting to five an no more. I will say that alcohol was flowing freely.

  • Dana

    He will, but not until after he has fornicated with her.

  • Art Deco

    No one is allowed to ask if maybe Charlotte Shane’s problem was . . . Charlotte Shane.

    Our codpiece media never ask those sorts of questions, nor do academics. It is outside the frame of public discussion. On the odd occasion when you do ask, multiple someones will appear and explain to you that the blame really has to be apportioned to other parties on a standing list of scapegoats. My favorite example was Barbara Ehrenreich’s column in Time giving us all an inventory of responsible parties when a woman in South Carolina killed her two children and then faked a car accident: on the list was her estranged husband, a boyfriend prospect, society in general, and, it would seem, just about anyone but the young woman who drove the car off the pier. Another fine example would be Dr. Park Dietze, who told the world that the responsible party for the murder of Andrea Yates children was a Methodist itinerant minister they hadn’t seen in several years; the psychiatrist who coked her to the gills with psychotropics, of course, bore no responsibility; professional courtesy works that way. Kathleen Parker let her readers know that the real killer was Andrea Yates amiable engineer-husband, for leaving her alone with her own children.

  • M. Thompson

    No, just use a Clue-by-four.

  • Joe Joe

    To be fair, a man doesn’t treat a promiscuous female the same way–in the sack or out–as he treats a serious woman who is in love with him and whom he wants to marry.

    Promiscuity is an empty feminist promise for women. That’s what this girl-who-played-tramp discovered for herself. Instead of blaming the feminists, however, she blames men and heterosexuality, as she has been taught.

  • Ilion

    Blaming feminism would imply that she herself holds some share of the blame for her own actions and their inevitable consequences. That won’t do!

  • totenhenchen

    Dat feel when people don’t do exactly what you want exactly when you want…