The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Want to Make My Wife Happy?

Posted on | June 24, 2011 | 23 Comments

When I went to the mailbox this afternoon, there was an electric bill and a water bill. Meanwhile, my phone keeps ringing with reminders that the car payment is overdue — although the phone may not keep ringing if I don’t do something about the overdue phone bill.

All of which tends toward the conclusion that it’s time for me to ask readers to hit the freaking tip jar.

And you know the situation is serious when I start reminding you how beautiful my wife is. For some reason, readers are more generous when I point out that I married waaaay out of my league — although I wasn’t entirely shabby myself, back in the day when I had that super-cool Patrick Swayze mullet look happening. Still, as everyone acknowledges, I was extraordinarily fortunate to wed the lovely Mrs. Other McCain.

“For richer or poorer” as they say, but the present circumstances aren’t exactly conducive to “happily ever after” and so, in the interests of domestic tranquility, I’m compelled to ask that you hit the tip jar, as I remind you that Mrs. Other McCain was the original inspiration for Rule 5.

Whenever I publish this photo, it seems necessary to point out that Mrs. Other McCain was already a 26-year-old mom when she rocked this polka-dot bikini. Our first child (now 22) was a toddler that summer of 1990. Perhaps you understand why we had five more children — and why you should hit the tip jar.

In the spring of 1991, Mrs. Other McCain was as skinny as she’s ever been when she posed in front of the ruins of New Manchester Mill at Sweetwater Creek State Park in my hometown of Lithia Springs, Ga. Later that day, we had a rather romantic picnic in the woods. IYKWIMAITYD. So maybe that memory is worth $10 in the tip jar.

Here we are all slicked up in May 2007 for the Washington Times 25th anniversary gala. So I suppose I should formally ask that you hit the tip jar for $20.

Beauty is obviously hereditary, and you know our youngest daughter Reagan didn’t get it from me, so please hit the tip jar. It’s for the children!


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