Yes, we’re talking about our hero, Admiral Smitty, who returned yesterday from Afghanistan and shared the stirring tale of his conquest of the Taliban Navy. You may be saying to yourself, “Wait a minute — the Taliban don’t have a navy!”
Not any more, they don’t, because FOBbit Smitty and his top-secret Navy task force of Stealth Ninja REMFs wiped out the enemy fleet.
Not since Nelson’s victory at Trafalgar has any naval force triumphed so decisively against such formidable odds. Details of this decisive battle remain classified, but a grateful nation will long remember the immortal words with which the Admiral concludes this inspirational video:
UPDATE: Our demobilized hero has asked me to add a disclaimer: Smitty is earning exactly $0 from the blog and the U.S. Navy does not endorse our opinions. Or my jokes.
“Humor + Pentagon” has never been an easy mixture.
Smitty, thank you for your service.
The naval war against the Taliban was a mere precursor to the Mother of All Battles against Iran’s four menacing warships.
The pain of experiencing low/interupted bandwidth is nothing compared to the agony of having a nice fat little target in range but not being allowed to turn it into a fireball.
Better to say “Pentagon Humor. EVAH.”
“Well, Smitty, you were doing fine right up to that last OER. Pity about that, really…”
Great post. Welcome Back Smitty!
[…] EXCLUSIVE VIDEO Reveals U.S. Navy’s Secret Weapon in War Against Taliban : The Other McCain […]
In tragic news for Iran today, the USN Navy regretfully reported that it was cleaning one of its Aegis cruisers when it accidentally discharged by mistake.
Ninety-six times.
Welcome back Smitty!
You may not know this, but the highest and most classified technology went into creating Smitty’s steath head. The best and the brightest from Skunkworks, the CIA, the NSA and a host of other defense contractors have worked on it. I would explain it further, but I would have to kill you.
Smitty: You Rule
Stacy: We need to have a conversation…
Welcome Back, Smitty– “King of all Stealth Ninja REMFs”.
Thank you for your service!
[…] Perhaps Admiral Smitty would be interested in re-upping for a couple of days to command the mission. We could call it “Operation Fish in a Barrel” or something. Of course you are encouraged to offer your own names for the op in the comments. […]
[…] Gonzo reporter, Stacy McCain was able to snag an exclusive interview with the returned warrior. The video is here. Stacy’s tease: …Admiral Smitty, who returned yesterday from Afghanistan…shared […]
[…] But that’s no reason to take it out on my loyal colleagues here. For crying out loud, Smitty just got back from a tour of duty in Afghanistan! And Wombat here — yeah, I know it doesn’t say ‘Wombat’ on the credential […]