The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

A Post Which Tries To Capture The Absurdity Of The Cain Situation In A Way That Some May Find Sacrilegious

Posted on | November 4, 2011 | 12 Comments

by Smitty

15. Now at that Election Cycle, the Media was wont to release unto the #OWS people a prisoner, whom they would.
16. And they had then a notable prisoner, called Barabbas.
17. Therefore when they were gathered together in Zuccotti Park, the Media said unto them, Whom will ye that I release unto you? Barabbas, or Herman which is called Cain?
18. For he knew that for envy they had delivered him, pulling rumors like rabbits out of a turban so fast that no sane person could track them all, much less formulate a response for why he is labeled by some a Wookie from planet Endor.
19. When the Media was set down on the judgment seat, its conscience sent unto it, saying, Have thou nothing to do with that just man: for I have suffered many things this day in a dream because of him.
20. But the chief consultants and donors persuaded the #OWS multitude that they should ask Barabbas, and destroy Herman, who had been known to speak to women on Endor, and was rumored to have appeared as Chewbacca at a Halloween party, some said.
21. The Media answered and said unto them, Whether of the twain will ye that I release unto you? They said, Barabbas.
22. The Media saith unto them, What shall I do then with Herman which is called Cain? They all say unto him, Let him be crucified, for we fear he is a Wookie.
23. And the governor said, Why, what evil hath he done? But they cried out the more, saying, Let him be crucified, for who would accuse an innocent man of hanging around Endor?
24. When the Media saw that it could prevail nothing, but that rather a tumult was made by #OWS, it took water, and washed its hands before the multitude, saying, I am innocent of the blood of this just person: see ye to it, and blame Bush.


12 Responses to “A Post Which Tries To Capture The Absurdity Of The Cain Situation In A Way That Some May Find Sacrilegious”

  1. CalMark
    November 4th, 2011 @ 1:13 pm

    Awesome!  Hilarious!

    And the final line made me laugh out loud!

    Thus endeth the lesson.

  2. Finrod Felagund
    November 4th, 2011 @ 1:23 pm

    Excellent.  Very well done.

  3. Dave
    November 4th, 2011 @ 1:38 pm

    Jesus wept.

  4. mark
    November 4th, 2011 @ 1:44 pm

    just caught the usa/today poll…
    cain within moe(48-45).  the dates are ‘pre-clarence thomas, part deux’.

    reuters has a poll out, but their article covering it does not link to the actual poll.  they also cite an obama lead of 46-41 over cain, with polling done ‘during’ the politco smear.  sample was based on a near equivalent of those approving/disapproving 49/50, while rcp average provides that the number is closer to 44/50.

    for those desiring to knock cain off, it didn’t work.  skepticism is running high among gop primary voters, in regards to the accusations, submitted by a third party proxy(politico). 

    for several days, cain was free to formulate multiple defenses, which were largely ridiculed by establishment gop.   there has been no push back from the aggrieved, outside of wishing to remain anonymous…encountering no real resistance, even a weak push back moves the story in favor of cain.

    i did see that rich lowery is dipping his foot in the water, avoid the charges, but working the ‘cover-up’ angle. 

    net effect?
    establishment gop has moved further out from shore.   cain still sitting in the harbor.  in order for the the doubt/criticism of cain’s handling of the matter, one has to believe, to some degree, in the charges.

    otherwise, it becomes a matter of how a campaign should handle the absurd.

    under the sub rosa, the establishment is panicking over romney’s inability to move up.  note the generous shift of establishment voters from romney to newt.  if either newt gets to 15%, or romney falls below 20%, romney’s campaign is over…critical mass will have been achieved. 

    while romney was never going to pick up cain defections, his descent occurring at the same time as cain taking massive hits is not a good sign.

    if cain can hold on for another week or two, it will actually demonstrate that despite the perceived poor responses to the mini-crisis, he is scandal proof.   

  5. Anonymous
    November 4th, 2011 @ 1:59 pm

    As shall we.

  6. Info
    November 4th, 2011 @ 2:18 pm

    I had to have baby twins to be that sleep deprived.  Wow.

    Give him another month, and I can’t wait to see his tribute to the “Rime of the Ancient Mariner”.

  7. mark
    November 4th, 2011 @ 2:24 pm

    the real story of the week should be…
    romney down 6pts in rassumssen.  newt up 4pts.

    6pts points, nominally isn’t a lot, but when it is almost 20% of one’s support, ‘tragedy’ is occurring.

    mitt should have worked those phones in ohio.  failing to do so played into the skepticism that even his supporters apparently felt about how much he is ‘down for the struggle’.

    he’s got time…
    he needs to go door to door on issue 2 in ohio to make amends.  the irony is that he is too concerned about the media he would generate, while in fact, he needs the left to savage him, upon just such an occassion.

    this is a pumpkin that any of the gop conteders could pick…
    drop everything, go to ohio, and show us some actual campaigning.  putting one’s name on a losing effort is still going to help in the gop primary.  putting one’s name on a ‘winning’ effort could very well seal the deal.

    kicking the labor unions hornets nest is free advertising, and they will swarm over any outsider fighting issue 2.

  8. CalMark
    November 4th, 2011 @ 4:05 pm

    A very good point.  One wonders why nobody is doing it.

  9. mark
    November 4th, 2011 @ 7:03 pm

    my best theory…
    ohio is the 49th state to have a primary, before only utah.

    otoh, every person who is actually following issue 2, outside of ohio, is almost an entire subset of gop primary voters.  a simple statement goes a long way.

    this is in newt’s wheelhouse, as a fantastic chance to draw a distinction between him and the milquetoast conservativism of romney.  making an effort, now, allows it to be used in a primary debate in deligitimizing romney’s conservative credentials. 

    avoid it, and one is no better than romney.  the polls probably scared them away. 

  10. This is Plain Silly « Mythusmage Opines
    November 4th, 2011 @ 7:32 pm

    […] This is Plain Silly Posted by mythusmage on 4 November 2011, 3:32 pm A Post Which Tries To Capture The Absurdity Of The Cain Situation In A Way That Some May Find Sacril…. […]

  11. Alan Kellogg
    November 4th, 2011 @ 7:35 pm

    It’s a plot by the left to replace Obama with Cain, since Cain is a black man who can be depended upon to do the right thing.

  12. Anonymous
    November 4th, 2011 @ 8:49 pm

    *snerk* LOL!