On the Road to Spartanville … Oh, Wait, No, Better Make That Spartanburg

Posted on | November 12, 2011 | 33 Comments

DUBLIN, Va.
We pulled into a McDonald’s here about 9:40 a.m. so that I could hop on the WiFi and get some work done quickly before gassing up the econo-rental (a black Ford Probe, $86 for the weekend) and heading back out on the road to Spartanburg, S.C., for tonight’s Republican presidential debate at Wofford College (8 p.m. ET, CBS).

Mrs. Other McCain let me bring our 12-year-old son Jefferson along for the trip, because every eighth-grader should be helping their dads cover presidential campaigns instead of lounging around all weekend playing “Call of Duty.” Jefferson’s career plan is to be elected president of the United States in 2044, but I’m afraid he’ll be haunted by the gaffe in this video:

Spartanville? That blunder may have looked rehearsed, but it was actually spontaneous, as was his clever recovery. And of course, no child of mine could ever forget The Five Most Important Words in the English Language: Hit the freaking tip jar!

Addendum: While we were driving down the road this morning, we heard “Freebird” on the radio and Jefferson declared that when he becomes president, he’ll make “Freebird” the national anthem. I shared this on Twitter — via cellphone, while driving 75 mph abd steering with my knee — and Jon Henke responded:

You WILL stand for 9:06 & you WILL hold your hand over your heart for 9:06. Or you’re an unpatriotic America hater!

And frankly, if you don’t hold up a lighter every time you hear the national anthem, we’ll question your patriotism.

Hell, yeah.

Category: Debates, Election 2012, Family, Fear and Loathing in Spartanburg, South Carolina

Comments

33 Responses to “On the Road to Spartanville … Oh, Wait, No, Better Make That Spartanburg”

McGehee
November 12th, 2011 @ 10:42 am

THIS! IS! SPARTANBURG!!!
Mike
November 12th, 2011 @ 10:45 am

Good luck and drive careful. My daughter is on her way here to SC from Virginia. She’s going to Florida with me and brother to help us sell Christmas trees again this year. Last year, she was one of our best workers and I expect she will do the same good job again this year. We leave Monday, so I’ve got a lot of stuff to get done between now and then.
Joe
November 12th, 2011 @ 11:48 am

How about linking the song?

Now Stand!
Rich Vail
November 12th, 2011 @ 12:04 pm

Honestly? I hate the damn song. When I was kid in high school in Panama City, FL when this song came out (way back when??? I’m not saying!), they played it every single hour for weeks on end…when you throw in the talentless kids w/a guitar attempting to play it in the halls…you end up with a lot fo people who would rather not hear it ever again…

Rich Vail
Pikesville, Maryland
The Vail Spot dot Blogspot dot Com
Joe
November 12th, 2011 @ 12:12 pm

So did you listen to the Ramones, the Pistols and the Clash?
Joe
November 12th, 2011 @ 12:15 pm

Funny how RSM and his kids are the models for the Weasleys.

As Ron Weasley said: “Hearing voices no one else can hear isn’t a good sign, even in the wizarding world.”
Rich Vail
November 12th, 2011 @ 12:20 pm

Of course…who didn’t? With only 1 “real” rock FM station in town, WPFM…that was pretty much the only way to hear music.
andycanuck
November 12th, 2011 @ 12:31 pm

Do they throw IRS agents down wells in Spartanburg?
Joe
November 12th, 2011 @ 12:34 pm

I suspected you were one of the cool kids.
Rich Vail
November 12th, 2011 @ 12:43 pm

Hardly, I was in band and on swim-team (but NOT one of the “cool kids”).
Anonymous
November 12th, 2011 @ 12:52 pm

If they don’t it sounds like a wonderful idea for a new Thanksgiving traditon.
smitty
November 12th, 2011 @ 12:52 pm

I like the Motorhead version of “Louie, Louie”. Maybe it’s the nautical emphasis.
Dianna Deeley
November 12th, 2011 @ 1:15 pm

“every eighth-grader should be helping their dads cover presidential campaigns”

Deep, sorrowful sigh.

I really hate this locution. I don’t care where it comes from, I hate it with a cold and vengeful spite. This should read, “every eighth-grader should be helping *his dad* cover presidential campaigns.”
Joe
November 12th, 2011 @ 1:15 pm

The cool kids were not the ones who were cool in high school. They peaked then.
Rich Vail
November 12th, 2011 @ 1:16 pm

(dating myself horrendously) I like, even today, Paul Rever and the Raiders verson.
Bob Belvedere
November 12th, 2011 @ 1:20 pm

One would hope that it would spread across the country and become as traditional as the T-Day High School football game!
Bob Belvedere
November 12th, 2011 @ 1:21 pm

Godspeed, Mike.
Rich Vail
November 12th, 2011 @ 1:21 pm

My favorite song? Adogio for Strings by Samuel Barber…Rock? “Machine Messiah”, by Yes, from the Drama album, 1980.
Mike
November 12th, 2011 @ 1:23 pm

They have signs at the edge of town…”IRS agents, don’t let the sun set on your ass here.”
Bob Belvedere
November 12th, 2011 @ 1:29 pm

They’re just singing the original lyrics:
http://lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/l/louielouie.shtml
Mike
November 12th, 2011 @ 1:32 pm

I had a ticket to their concert in Gulfport, Ms. that they never made it to, while I was stationed in Biloxi, Ms. back in ’77. Wish I still had that concert ticket.
Anonymous
November 12th, 2011 @ 2:51 pm

I’ll have to vote no on Free Bird. But I’ll buy stock in Miller/Coors just in case.

See, a national anthem has to have some ass kicking in it, or at least something that shows the aftermath, or the greatness of our heroes.

Tell you what, you got two choices of tunes that are both played at the same, rock-ballad speed, with rock-band instruments behind a powerful lead vocalist: Free Bird, or God Bless The USA.

Which one do you go with?
Rich Vail
November 12th, 2011 @ 3:10 pm

I vote…neither.
richard mcenroe
November 12th, 2011 @ 5:10 pm

Stacy, if you’re gonna rag on the boy for calling it Spartanville, maybe we’d best not point out you called it SpartOnburg on Twitter…
richard mcenroe
November 12th, 2011 @ 5:11 pm

The buggles… “video killed the radio star”. the “cold war kid,” of course!
Rich Vail
November 12th, 2011 @ 5:13 pm

Them’s the ones…lol
Rich Vail
November 12th, 2011 @ 5:15 pm

them’s the ones…
richard mcenroe
November 12th, 2011 @ 6:21 pm

If you’re gonna go Skynnyrd for the anthem, go “Still unbroken” or “God & Guns” off the disc of that name.’

See, I is yoothful at heart. I didn’t write ‘album.’
dustbury.com » Probing analysis
November 12th, 2011 @ 9:51 pm

[…] Robert Stacy McCain, having made it to the thriving semi-metropolis of Spartanburg, South Carolina, noted in passing that he’s in an “econo-rental (a black Ford Probe, $86 for the weekend)”. […]
Anonymous
November 13th, 2011 @ 1:18 am

Discs are fading away. Now it’s downloads. So I’ve gone back to using “album” since that also means “collection.”

I haven’t bought that new album. How is it?
Anonymous
November 13th, 2011 @ 1:18 am

Discs are fading away. Now it’s downloads. So I’ve gone back to using “album” since that also means “collection.”

I haven’t bought that new album. How is it?
ThePaganTemple
November 13th, 2011 @ 10:48 am

What better anthem for the # OWS than “That Smell”?
FMJRA 2.0: Brought To You By… : The Other McCain
November 13th, 2011 @ 10:58 pm

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