Fertility Facts: ‘It’s Not That We’re Stupid. It’s That We’ve Been Misinformed.’

Posted on | November 15, 2011 | 26 Comments

At last, intelligent women are starting to speak out about how they’ve been misled about basic facts of reproductive science:

From the outside, Holly Finn certainly looks fertile.
With shoulder-length dark hair, smooth skin and a slim but curvaceous figure, the San Francisco-area writer could be any young mom with a baby on her hip.
But at 43, Finn says, her ovaries know better — and she would have, too, if not for what she believes is society’s widespread ignorance about infertility.
“I really feel that there are important pieces of information that don’t get passed along,” says Finn, who has now tried for four years to conceive through in-vitro fertilization. “I actually think it’s quite a brutal dishonesty.”
Most women aren’t taught — and don’t learn — basic facts about fertility and aging, says Finn, author of the e-book “The Baby Chase.” Instead, celeb moms the likes of Salma Hayek (a baby girl at 41), Marcia Cross (twins at 44) and Mariah Carey (twins at 41) make being an older mom look easy — and glamorous.
“It’s not that we’re stupid,” she says. “It’s that we’ve been misinformed.”

Whenever I write about this topic, I get outraged reactions from feminists who seem to think that explaining procreative biology is an insult to women. Postponing childbearing past age 30 involves a significant risk of infertility. And because the risks of birth defects (especially Down’s Syndrome) are much greater for pregnancies after age 35, delayed motherhood reduces a woman’s chances of having healthy children.

When a man says this, however, he will immediately be attacked as if he were advocating the kind of patriarchal dystopia described in Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale. It is therefore encouraging to see women like Finn calling attention to this kind of survey data:

Most women simply don’t realize that at 30, a healthy woman has about a 20 percent chance of conceiving per month and by the time she reaches 40, her odds drop to about 5 percent . . .
Instead, many of those surveyed thought that a 30-year-old woman would have a 70 percent chance of conceiving and that a 40-year-old’s chances could approach 60 percent.
They also believed that a 20-year-old woman might get pregnant in less than two months of unprotected sex, rather than the five months that is the average.
“It’s basic biology and basic knowledge of how age impacts your fertility if you’re a woman,” says Collura.
But most women aren’t getting those basics until it’s too late, said Dr. William Schoolcraft, medical director of the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine in Denver and two other locations.
“They don’t even come in for fertility treatment until they’re literally in their 40s,” he said. “Some come in and they have run out of time.”

Finn’s 50-page Kindle booklet, The Baby Chase, is available from Amazon for $1.99. I wish that all those otherwise smart young women who think, “Well, that won’t happen to me,” would wake up and realize: It just might. And I also wish people would realize that nightmare dystopias come in many flavors:

PREVIOUSLY:

Oct. 27: He’s 36, She’s 33
Sept. 26: More Sex, Less Babies?
July 24: VIDEO: ‘Demographic Winter’
Feb. 27: K-Lo Slams Contraceptive Culture

Category: Contraceptive Culture, Feminism

Comments

26 Responses to “Fertility Facts: ‘It’s Not That We’re Stupid. It’s That We’ve Been Misinformed.’”

Joe
November 15th, 2011 @ 2:12 pm

I love that Idiocracy clip. It is a classic.
Mitch Tracy
November 15th, 2011 @ 2:22 pm

Your factual statements conflict with our feminist dogma.

Therefore, you are a hater.
Adjoran
November 15th, 2011 @ 2:47 pm

I hereby denounce you on behalf of all the wymyn who believe they can “have it all” when and where they want it, and if they don’t get it right away, it’s because some man in the patriarchy enslaved them with ten thousand years of civilization, which amounts to rape.

I recommend you review the classic feminist play by Libby Wolfson (Andrea Martin): “I’m Takin’ My Own Head, Screwing it On Right, and No Guy’s Gonna Tell Me it Ain’t” over and over again until you understand.

Then watch the cult film, “Rochelle, Rochelle: a young girls strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk” to begin to realize your own Neanderthal culpability for the poor pathetic wymyn who jump from bed to bed, never being satisfied and never satisfying, in a never-ending futile attempt to resolve their Daddy issues – like that blogger chick who always hassles you. No, not her – Veranda Culotte or something like that.
CalMark
November 15th, 2011 @ 2:57 pm

Too bad Gen-X had to learn this the hard way.

But common sense isn’t feminism’s strong suit.
Anonymous
November 15th, 2011 @ 2:59 pm

Clearly, the answer is more state sponsored sex-ed!
Info
November 15th, 2011 @ 3:02 pm

I was always amazed by the people who could go on for a half-hour at a time about The Handmaid’s Tale as though it was ripped from tomorrow’s headlines, but would also favor the strictest possible gun control.
Anonymous
November 15th, 2011 @ 3:03 pm

Strictest possible? Does that involve laser sights?
Anamika
November 15th, 2011 @ 3:13 pm

I read your comment, but, they seem to say you are on the side of the satanic feminist-socialists who are in the process of destroying America and paving the way for the Luciferian Illuminati run New World Order global dictatorship. It was breaking my heart to see you being duped by the propaganda/brainwash being spewed by these devilish feminazis, but, their spell is strong and hard to resist (I hear even Stacy McCain fell victim himself for many years) and the bankers and the politicians and the mass media pump the devil’s dogma 24/7 into the minds of the unsuspecting sheeple.

But, if I am mistaken about your position, then, this warms the cockles of my heart and I gladly welcome you with open arms into the Heavenly Fold. Please state your position clearly and unequivocally. I do hope that Bro Joe and I can celebrate the liberation and salvation of our blessed brother into God’s Kingdom, on earth as it is in heaven.
DaveO
November 15th, 2011 @ 3:32 pm

No, these women are stupid. There is more than enough information out there that would accurately inform these women of the consequences of their choices. That they don’t keep themselves informed is their own problem.

Stop coddling them: if they don’t reproduce, then they don’t reproduce stupidity.
Adjoran
November 15th, 2011 @ 3:34 pm

Don’t you have a sidewalk to defecate upon for OWS or something?
daisy
November 15th, 2011 @ 3:35 pm

My last pregnancy at 41 and it was ectopic. The doctor’s danced around why it happened and cheerfully told me that I could try again later. Nuts to that. Once you get past 30 your breeding days are short and fraught with obstacles. Ladies the feminists lied to you.
Anonymous
November 15th, 2011 @ 3:43 pm

Actually you may be on to something, since the objective of sex ed and anti-bullying classes in schools nowadays is to mainstream homosexuality, homosexuals don’t care about fertility.
JeffS
November 15th, 2011 @ 3:48 pm

Tut tut, Anamika, tut tut!

Mitch blends sarcasm with irony to offer a humorous perspective of the “feminist” outrage speeding its way here in response to Stacy’s post.

You blend psychobabble and non sequitur statements, and demonstrate why the left is left much wanting in the intellectual department.

Tut tut, Anamika! One must intelligence in order to be wise. Tut tut!
Bonnie_
November 15th, 2011 @ 4:13 pm

Well this article is a relief. I remember walking into a supermarket with one kid on my hip, two more at my side and another one on the way and noticing in dismay the sneering looks given to me by people who believe big families are disgusting. This was a decade ago, when women my age were expected to be living the “good life,” having careers and multiple sex partners and spending big bucks on their child-free, slender bodies.

I’m glad I made a different choice.
Joe
November 15th, 2011 @ 4:32 pm

http://nation.foxnews.com/occupy-wall-street/2011/11/15/occupy-protester-caught-defecating-sidewalk?intcmp=fly

Anamika?
Danby
November 15th, 2011 @ 4:34 pm

The Patriarchy:
We Were Right All Along.
Joe
November 15th, 2011 @ 5:06 pm

It is mostly liberals who are missing their breeding. So maybe things are for the best.
Joe
November 15th, 2011 @ 5:06 pm

I am sorry.
Old Rebel
November 15th, 2011 @ 5:17 pm

“Idiocracy” was an overlooked masterpiece with an important message lurking under the comedy. Thanks for the clip!
Bob Belvedere
November 15th, 2011 @ 5:44 pm

http://thecampofthesaints.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/troll-doll-purple-01.jpg
Mitch Tracy
November 15th, 2011 @ 6:23 pm

Iowahawk, is that you?
DaveO
November 15th, 2011 @ 7:41 pm

Their karma is in hormoney with their enlightenment.
Julie
November 15th, 2011 @ 7:42 pm

I could never quite get into the movie Idiocracy, but that first clip is beyond brilliant.

I know quite a few women who found it immensely difficult to conceive once they started trying, even though they weren’t old. I had four kids in six years. The thing is… you don’t know. You can’t know. And they can’t know if, had they let nature take it’s course when they were younger, or first married, if they’d have had babies then. They may not have then either, but they can’t *know*.

Conception is chancy. People think that they can just decide, (even once they’re pregnant) that now is not a good time, and that when it is a good time it’s just going to happen. Sure, some women have no trouble at all. I ended up feeling guilty. Do I call and tell that friend or relative who has been trying for years and spending a fortune to have a baby that I’m pregnant *again*? How can she be happy to hear that?
Childless
November 15th, 2011 @ 8:47 pm

carefully, select your spouse based on gene pool indicators and don’t wait. for my generation, it was Jane Pauley delivering twins in her 40s.
then, at age 38, I’m told that I’m prematurely menopausal. My only consolation is that, therefore, there’s no remaining connection with my ex-husband.
Anonymous
November 15th, 2011 @ 11:04 pm

We tried starting our family when I was 30, but nothing happened. Luckily, my problem was diagnosed–a tumor on my pituitary gland was causing my bod to produce heaps of prolactin, which turned off the ovaries. Took meds for a year, but still no baby. By that time I’d had more than enough of the stress; so I threw in the towel and let the Man Upstairs make the call. I finally did get pregnant, and became a mom at the ripe old age of 36. Our daughter is today an outrageously healthy and beautiful 13-year-old. I have no regrets whatsoever.
jonathan.camp
November 16th, 2011 @ 9:24 am

My ex wife and I had 3 children in 5 years beginning with our 1st when she was 21. Worked out as one would expect and we got lucky in that each time we decided to have another child we conceived within 2 months. No problems with any of the 3 pregnancies.

My current wife was 36 when we married and it was her 1st marriage. She’s always wanted children so we started trying right away due to knowing that a 1st pregnancy this late in her life would be difficult. We were fortunate enough to conceive within 3 months. We were also lucky enough to not have any major problems during the pregnancy — she worked up until a week before the birth even. However, even though there were no major problems, it still shattered her health. She’s sick 4 days out of 7 anymore and the other 3 days she has a hard time getting up and moving. The placenta was oddly formed and infected — that our daughter was born alive at all was nothing short of a miracle, much less that she was born healthy, and we thank God every day that we have her.

She wants a 2nd child badly, but we’ve not been able to conceive since our daughter was born 2 years ago, and given her health issues since the birth, neither one of us is actually surprised. Given how the 1st pregnancy shattered her health we’ve discussed several times how much of a risk to her own life she’s taking by trying to get pregnant again, but she’s willing to take the risk, assuming we’re able to conceive again. We don’t plan to try any kind of fertility treatments, though. It’s all in God’s hands from here.

We have a friend our age who married a few months after us. She has 4 children from her 1st marriage, and she and her new husband would like a child together but in the 2 years since their marriage she’s been unable to conceive, even with fertility treatments, and sadly she’s thinking that she’s just too old anymore.

My younger sister and her husband tried for 15 years to have a child. Fertility treatments out the yang and so on, but she’s got some sort of genetic thing that apparently prevents her from ovulating, and even with fertility treatments she couldn’t carry for more than a month or so. She’s turned to adoption instead, and thanks God every day for the 2 beautiful girls he’s given her through that process instead.

As someone said above, you don’t know and can’t know how good or bad your fertility will be, and as my friend showed: “past performance is no indicator of future results” either, especially as you start approaching 40.