The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

If You Secret Santa Any Of These Gifts, Ensure It Looks Like Your Foe Bought It

Posted on | November 30, 2011 | 7 Comments

by Smitty

Our first product comes via email to Mrs. The Other Smitty.:


I mean, really:

  • If your intent is to give yourself more than a sanctimonious hit of feel-goodery, why not foster or adopt a. . .human being? Adoption is noble. Ask any Christian who has studied the Galatian Epistle at length.
  • The polar bear population myth is a rightLeft pile of hooey.

Speaking of dodgy research, item #2 is an old chestnut from The Onion:
Revolutionary New Insoles Combine Five Forms Of Pseudoscience

Stressed and sore-footed Americans everywhere are clamoring for the exciting new MagnaSoles shoe inserts, which stimulate and soothe the wearer’s feet using no fewer than five forms of pseudoscience.

Check that Onion link for that special hypochondriac near your.

Our third product is courtesy of Jay Leno:

Other than Andrew Sullivan, I can’t think of anybody who would do this to a vehicle.

At any rate, the post title is intended as a jest, and holds two points for real life:

  • Being indirect about random acts of kindness is one thing. Behaving deviously about gifts is another. Don’t be a backstabber.
  • Also, never maintain a foe. Make sure that if there is a problem with a co-worker, it’s entirely on them. Give no cause for offense.
Category: humor

Comments

7 Responses to “If You Secret Santa Any Of These Gifts, Ensure It Looks Like Your Foe Bought It”

  1. Anonymous
    November 30th, 2011 @ 11:01 pm

    “Foe maintenance” should be outsourced.

  2. ThePaganTemple
    November 30th, 2011 @ 11:16 pm

    After all these Herman Cain posts he posted today, I think I have the perfect present for RSM. Introducing-

    The Husky

  3. Joe
    November 30th, 2011 @ 11:45 pm

    You are being mean.  Stacy is a loyal fighter and supporter of Herman Cain…even if Cain is not much on being loyal and supportive to Stacy. 

  4. Anonymous
    December 1st, 2011 @ 6:25 am

    The polar bear thing is all well and good, but if you really value the environment, you’ll get your friends a NEOSOCKET!  It’s so simple:

    How To USE
    1. Insert Neosocket into cigarette lighter socket.
    2. The light turns ON (May be you need to turn on the engine at this time
    3. Start driving

  5. Bob Belvedere
    December 1st, 2011 @ 8:47 am

    If you’re not able to adopt a child, how about funding a scholarship?

  6. Mortimer Snerd
    December 1st, 2011 @ 12:20 pm

    I have never understood people who contribute money to benefit vicious, man-eating beasts.  But, hey, that’s just me.

  7. Andrew Jackson
    December 4th, 2011 @ 8:26 pm

    Secret santa the Obama-Poker Game, it is a great game, funny and fun for New Year’s Eve. It will also educate folks on the overspending.