The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Only Roseanne Barr Can Save Us From The Chinese Pollution Menace!

Posted on | February 4, 2012 | 11 Comments

by Smitty

Never mind that she doesn’t appear to have a campaign website, we’ve got to support Roseanne Barr for POTUS. Bill Quick, in the link, is casting all kinds of skeptical eye upon the news that Chinese pollution is visible from space.

Forget that noise. We’ve got to behind Barr’s candidacy:

Barr used the language of the Occupy Wall Street movement during her announcement on Thursday, calling on the 99% of Americans to help power her cause. She’s long been identified as a populist figure; her sitcom “Roseanne,” which ran from 1988 to 1997, offered a refreshingly realistic look at working-class life at a time when TV shows like “Dallas” and “Dynasty” were peddling high-end glamour. Barr is now developing a new sitcom at NBC called “Downwardly Mobile,” set in a mobile home community.

If Stacy’s Vanuatu gig falls through, maybe Barr will hire him as a fashion consultant for “Downwardly Mobile”.

Then again, we really have to vote for Barr, especially in the absence of Sarah Palin or Hillary Clinton on the ticket in 2012. If we voted for Barack in 2008 to prove we are not raaaaacist surely we must vote Roseanne in 2012 to prove we are not sexist.

Also, Roseanne’s candidacy will be so whacky that Barack will appear centrist in contrast. Mitt Romney was unavailable for comment, having returned to Madame Tussaud’s for a touch-up.

Finally, Roseanne will alter the arc of the U.S. transformation into a European welfare state. We’ll get an Australian one, instead:

Category: Election 2012, humor

Comments

11 Responses to “Only Roseanne Barr Can Save Us From The Chinese Pollution Menace!”

  1. Anonymous
    February 4th, 2012 @ 11:21 am

    Roseanne Barr needs to be on the ballot in all 57 states.

  2. Mariner
    February 4th, 2012 @ 11:26 am

    She can certainly do her part: can you imagine going to bed with her?

  3. AngelaTC
    February 4th, 2012 @ 12:36 pm

    So the 99% has a decided to get a 1% er to represent them?  Heh – look! They’re just like us after all.  

    Roseanne’s comedy was brilliant in its time.  But like so many other comedians before her, she’s devolved into a hateful divisiveness. 

  4. Anonymous
    February 4th, 2012 @ 12:45 pm

    Daesn’t Roseanne Barr equate with Stephen Colbert and Gary Johnson and Ron Paul? And Donald Trump, come to think of it?

  5. ThePaganTemple
    February 4th, 2012 @ 1:14 pm

     Its not a sure thing yet, so far she’s just trying to get the Green Party nomination. She might get it if she keeps going around saying people won’t won’t give up their wealth should be beheaded. I hope she gets the Green nomination. I can see a scenario where she causes Obama to lose blue states where he’s not that well loved anymore, like Oregon, maybe even Minnesota.

  6. The Spot-On Quote Of The Week… « The Camp Of The Saints
    February 4th, 2012 @ 2:11 pm

    […] awarded to Smitty, Admiral Of The Afghan Seas and Meistervater, for this metaphorical succinct summation of Dash Riprock Jr’s candidacy: …Mitt Romney was unavailable for comment, having […]

  7. ThePaganTemple
    February 4th, 2012 @ 2:21 pm

    Come to find out she’s not really serious, she’s just trying to draw attention to the Green Party, and actually supports Jill Stein, the probably eventual nominee.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/celebritology/post/roseanne-barr-is-officially-running-for-president/2012/02/03/gIQAitrgmQ_blog.html?tid=pm_entertainment_pop

     

  8. Anonymous
    February 4th, 2012 @ 2:30 pm

    People complain about Sarah Palin’s voice? No. The gov does not have an annoying voice. You know who has an annoying voice? Rosie. Rosie’s got an incredibly annoying voice. Even before she starts singing.

  9. Saturday Roundup 2/4/12 Huge Sale on Romney Ether and Mitt Koolaid Edition
    February 4th, 2012 @ 3:47 pm

    […] Only Roseanne Barr Can Save Us From The Chinese Pollution Menace! […]

  10. Pathfinder's wife
    February 4th, 2012 @ 3:48 pm

    Damnit!  It was too good to be true.

  11. ThePaganTemple
    February 4th, 2012 @ 5:00 pm

     On the other hand, she did get 29% of the vote in one poll run by the Greens, so who knows? Hell, that’s more than Romney typically averages in most state polls.