The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Sources Close to Christina Hendricks Could Not Be Reached for Comment

Posted on | March 13, 2012 | 19 Comments

When you’re seeking a metaphor for “no chance in hell,” certain impossible scenarios immediately come to mind, which was what I was aiming for in my American Spectator column today:

Monday, Carl Cameron of Fox News was the vehicle by which “sources close to the Gingrich campaign” floated a trial balloon, suggesting that former House Speaker Newt Gingrich might announce Texas Gov. Rick Perry as his running mate “prior to the Republican National Convention at the end of August.”
While I haven’t bothered to check with my own “sources close to the Gingrich campaign,” this suggestion had the distinct aroma of a substance one might find on the plains of Texas in the vicinity of a herd of longhorn cattle. Carl Cameron is too smart of a reporter to believe such a steaming pile of nonsense, and so my guess is that Carl was just sharing it with Fox News viewers in order to give them a glimpse of how truly desperate “sources close to the Gingrich campaign” have become. Republican voters go to the polls in Alabama and Mississippi today, and if Newt loses these two primaries, he’s got as much chance of winning the GOP nomination as he has of making Christina Hendricks his next wife. . . .

Read the whole purposefully cruel thing. My apologies to Newt fans, but I finally got tired of being forced to listen to such ridiculousness.


19 Responses to “Sources Close to Christina Hendricks Could Not Be Reached for Comment”

  1. Quartermaster
    March 13th, 2012 @ 7:34 am

    I’ve heard from the usaual reliable sources that Christina Hendricks has taken a contract out on you.

    Those reliable sources are every bit as good as those used by a certain former MSNBC commentator who shall remain unnamed.

  2. Bob Belvedere
    March 13th, 2012 @ 7:43 am

    By all ordinary logic of politics, Super Tuesday should have been the end of Gingrich’s campaign, but 2012 has been a bad year for ordinary political logic.

    Ain’t that the truth.

  3. Mike Rogers
    March 13th, 2012 @ 8:07 am

    My apologies to Newt fans, but……….
    Yeah, right :-/
    The Brooklynese ripost to that goes something like “Touché……MF!”

    Seriously, I laughed my socks off over your description, and I suspect you may be right. I am just hoping that the phony in his Deathstar is handily defeated. “hi y’all, I love grits” is phony on so many levels: as I remarked a couple of days back, northerners mostly do not care for grits, and the phoniness is blatant.

    Right about now, I’m thinking you are backing the right horse, and Newt would be better joining forces with Rick.

  4. cinderellafe
    March 13th, 2012 @ 8:21 am

    Speaking of celebrities and politics, back on the “Palin Helps Romney Win Alaska” thread, you mention Palin’s sashay into New Hampshire (“see my coverage of her Labor Day speech in New Hampshire”), and while your report doesn’t mention Palin’s introduction of Mitt Romney before a Tea Party crowd, I do recall seeing video of this and noting how dejected the Tea Party Express celebrities (Lloyd Marcus and Victoria Jackson) were in showing enthusiasm for Mitt. Was it this event?

    Searching brought forth Palin’s speech as an admonition to the Tea Party to be inclusive of politicians, and combined with the bionic Romney machine campaign discipline of only neutral or warm Palin talking points, one begins to wonder if Palin has not been a dedicated Mitt delegate all along with the permission to appear rogue. Beltway baby all along?

  5. sheryl
    March 13th, 2012 @ 9:57 am

    Good write up, I don’t think the last three lines were warranted though. 

  6. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    March 13th, 2012 @ 10:07 am

    I smell the sweet smell of Gingrich success…ooops, it was just me!  

  7. robertstacymccain
    March 13th, 2012 @ 10:57 am

    I believe you’re confused. Mitt Romney spoke at a Tea Party Express event in Concord, N.H., on the Sunday before Labor Day. Palin spoke in Manchester on Labor Day. I was at both events. Sarah and Mitt never crossed paths during that weekend.

  8. robertstacymccain
    March 13th, 2012 @ 11:01 am

    Seriously, Mike, if Newt loses both Mississippi and Alabama, he’s toast. I don’t care what kind of happy horseshit his campaign people are pushing, the fact of the matter is that Gingrich’s fundraising is already the weakest in the field. If he loses today, it will dry up completely, and the campaign people who are now being paid to tell these outrageous whoppers will be out of a job.

    I was born at night, but it wasn’t last night.

  9. Finrod Felagund
    March 13th, 2012 @ 11:04 am

    You’re gonna look awfully silly, Stacy, if Newt wins Alabama and Mississippi.

  10. Mike Rogers
    March 13th, 2012 @ 11:21 am

    No argument – I haven’t sent any money to Newt’s campaign since Florida, and I’m in wait and see mode.

    If Newt blows it here, and it’s likely, I hope he’ll do the gracious thing. Like I said, stopping the Deathstar is the thing.

  11. Bob Belvedere
    March 13th, 2012 @ 11:35 am


  12. CO
    March 13th, 2012 @ 12:54 pm

    Newt takes the South then with Perry by his side takes Texas and its 155,  hmmm. 

    Newt and Perry would be the engine to revive this economy,
    there would be new jobs and gushers of cash.  But y’all are right, it’s not going to happen.

  13. Adjoran
    March 13th, 2012 @ 2:29 pm

    More wishful thinking from a participant, not an observer.  Gingrich can continue as long as he wants.  He won 15% in Ohio and spent no money and precious little time there.  His backers have shown they will vote for him even where he acknowledges he has no chance.

    It won’t take too much money to spend a month in Texas traveling to the small towns where people are thrilled to see Newt (I know, he came to my town to a hero’s welcome, and it was for a private fundraiser), and that’s apparently his plan with the occasional foray into Louisiana from there.

    Since Newt started out the campaign just hoping for free publicity to pump book sales, speaking fees, and consulting jobs anyway, all this is gravy.  Notice he isn’t speaking as harshly against Romney now?  He wants a prime time convention speech (great free advertising).

    The fact is if Santorum can’t win both Deep South Bible Belt states against a Massachusetts Mormon and a guy on his third marriage, he has no more practical chance to win.  He won’t be mathematically eliminated, but neither will the chance Earth will be destroyed by a gamma ray burst before the election, and the probabilities get very similar.

    If the grand Santorum strategy already believes their best hope is a brokered convention, it means they can see the end ahead. 

    It is later than you think.

  14. Charles
    March 13th, 2012 @ 4:50 pm

    Let’s say Sarah Palin knows it’s going to be Mitt and that’s why she didn’t run. She can run in 2016 or 2020.

    Does she endorse Rick Santorum who is rapidly becoming “next in line” for 2016 or 2012? Or does she endorse Newt, whose vanity campaign will never have any viability?

    Well, Sarah says she voted for Newt even though she is not quite endorsing His National Jokeness (nudge, udge, wink, wink) which perfectly maintains her viability within the system without giving any fuel to her new rival Rick.

  15. alwaysfiredup
    March 13th, 2012 @ 4:52 pm

    And if he wins both, what then?

  16. alwaysfiredup
    March 13th, 2012 @ 4:53 pm

    IIRC, Romney was PO’d that Palin stole his thunder there.

  17. Charles
    March 13th, 2012 @ 5:35 pm

    This is just the Florida ploy all over again for Texas. Newt hints he’ll pick the local boy as his VP in order to win over the local rubes. It will turn out there won’t be any more Texas rubes than there were Florida rubes to fall for this.

    It is possible that Rick Perry is just dumb enough to fall for this. Because going into the convention as the anounced running mate of the one man who has not chance of coming out of the convention with the nomination would be just plain stupid.

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