The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Good News, Bad News

Posted on | April 12, 2012 | 16 Comments

Mitt Romney calls Rick Santorum and says, “Rick, I’ve got good news for you, and I’ve got bad news for you. Which do you want to hear first?”

Santorum says, “Well, gosh, Mitt, I just quit the race, and I’m still kinda bummed out. Guess I could use the good news first.”

Romney says, “OK, you’ll be glad to know, my advisers and I have been talking it over and, with all the hard feelings after that tough primary campaign, we think it’s really important to unify the party. So we want you to give a primetime speech at the convention in Tampa.”

Santorum says, “Wow, Mitt! Thanks! That’s really a great gesture, and I appreciate how much this will mean to getting conservatives fired up for the fall campaign. But . . . what’s the bad news?”

Romney says, “You’re scheduled right after Herman Cain’s speech.”


16 Responses to “Good News, Bad News”

  1. Lisa Graas
    April 12th, 2012 @ 12:46 am


  2. Asian_chic
    April 12th, 2012 @ 12:54 am

    Although I love Santorum, Cain can really fire up a crowd.

  3. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    April 12th, 2012 @ 1:04 am

    There is a lot of truth in that.  

    Santorum should ask Mitt to pick up this outstanding debts and then campaign hard against Obama (win or lose that will help Rick best)

  4. Charles
    April 12th, 2012 @ 1:28 am

    Also, Rick, you’ll be speaking on the opening day of the televised Zimmerman trial.

  5. Adjoran
    April 12th, 2012 @ 1:29 am

    Conservatives rally around their nominee:

  6. CPAguy
    April 12th, 2012 @ 2:20 am

    Herman Cain >>>>>>>>>>> Rick Santorum >>>>>>>>>> Mittens …..but look how things turned out… 🙁

  7. dadofhomeschoolers
    April 12th, 2012 @ 7:01 am

    and there are lots of us that have been shut out of the process.  I haven’t even been allowed to vote yet.

  8. scarymatt
    April 12th, 2012 @ 8:04 am

    You’re probably the type to snub the Iowa Straw Poll, huh?

  9. Jorge Emilio Emrys Landivar
    April 12th, 2012 @ 3:31 pm

    So who are you gonna turn to?  Every person you supported has had to leave the race.

  10. ThePaganTemple
    April 12th, 2012 @ 4:00 pm

    Since they would probably be backstage together before Cain speaks, all Rick has to do is dress his prettiest daughter up in a short sexy skirt in fishnet stockings and a low cut blouse and make sure she has a long flowing platinum blonde wig. Once Herman starts his speech he’ll be stammering so badly Rick will sound Reaganesque by comparison.

  11. vladdy
    April 12th, 2012 @ 4:55 pm

    In my state, we had a vote that didn’t count, followed by primaries that had to be shut down due to Paultards trying to take over and cause massive disruption. What a system, huh?

  12. anon
    April 12th, 2012 @ 4:56 pm

    Hmmm..managed to smear Santorum, women, blonds, and Herman Cain all in one post. Are you a leftist? 

  13. vladdy
    April 12th, 2012 @ 4:59 pm

    Although I detest his muslim-kiss-ups, how ’bout Christie, giving an Ann Richards’ style sock-it-to-him speech directed toward obama? For that matter, how about Christie as an Agnew-style media-bashing and president-hammering VP? Problems with muslims or not, I’d vote for him just ‘cos I know mitt won’t diss obama, and somebody has to.

  14. Bob Belvedere
    April 12th, 2012 @ 5:10 pm

    Not funny.

  15. ThePaganTemple
    April 12th, 2012 @ 7:05 pm

     No, are you a humorless idiot?

  16. McGehee
    April 12th, 2012 @ 7:41 pm

    No, he’s Romney’s target voter.