The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler


Posted on | July 30, 2012 | 16 Comments

U.S. water polo team members, including Melissa Seidemann (3rd from Left)

I am immune to “Olympic fever.” I covered the Atlanta Olympics in ’96 and, as far as I’m concerned, the whole thing is just a bunch of made-for-TV commercialized hype. However . . .

The United States defeated Hungary 14-13 today in women’s water polo. I happened to glance up at the TV as the victorious Americans climbed out of the pool and I was like: Whoa! Who’s that?

Advanced research skills soon yielded the answer: Melissa Seidemann, six feet tall, 22, a recent graduate of Stanford University, where she twice led the team in scoring. Readers may remember my complaints about the scrawny little girls of Olympic gymnastics.

No such complaints about Melissa Seidemann.

Having alerted my colleague Dan Collins, I declare women’s water polo the Official Olympic Sport for Guys Who Like Full-Grown Women.

Forget all that silly boohooing about Jordyn Wieber not making the gymnastics all-around finals. Big girls don’t cry, and our water polo ladies are going for the gold. Melissa Seidemann is on Twitter, where this is her profile avatar:

Yeah, I know what you guys are thinking: “Lucky dog.”

UPDATE: Bob Belvedere shares my newfound enthusiasm.

UPDATE II: A British columnist finds an honest photographer:

“It’s a three-letter word. It’s not complicated.” David Hoskinson, a photographer who has been covering Olympic events for 20 years, has firm opinions on why women’s beach volleyball is so popular with corporate sponsors. “You know this, you’re a bright girl,” he sniffs. “Sex sells.” . . .
“The appeal is obviously fabulous bodies,” says Hoskinson. “They’re all tall, they’re all athletic, they have hard bodies. Use your imagination.”

Of course, everybody knows this, but you’re not supposed to say it out loud.


16 Responses to “USA! USA! USA!”

  1. Bob Belvedere
    July 30th, 2012 @ 5:58 pm

    She’s lovely.

    See the whole team here:
    Rule 5 News Special Report: Women’s Water Polo Anyone?

  2. DonaldDouglas
    July 30th, 2012 @ 6:33 pm


  3. Rule 5 News Special Report: Women’s Water Polo Anyone? [Updated] « The Camp Of The Saints
    July 30th, 2012 @ 7:26 pm

    […] at 1923: Stacy McCain profiles one of the team members not featured in the first photo: Melissa Seidemann. Share this:TwitterEmailFacebookMoreStumbleUponRedditDiggLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. […]

  4. Bob Belvedere
    July 30th, 2012 @ 7:49 pm

    Speaking of the American Women’s Volleyball Team, TCOTS was on the case last Saturday:

  5. Charles
    July 30th, 2012 @ 7:52 pm

    I wouldn’t kick anyone on that USA women’s water polo team out of the pool.

    As for Jordyn, she was doomed from that moment after birth when her parents hung that Y on her name. Why, why?

  6. Bob Belvedere, and RS McCain are suddenly big time water polo fans? « The Daley Gator
    July 30th, 2012 @ 8:53 pm

    […] McCain is excited as well The United States defeated Hungary 14-13 today in women’s water polo. I happened to glance up at […]

  7. A Woman of Substance
    July 30th, 2012 @ 11:02 pm

    […] Stacy has brought to my attention a competitor on the US Women's Water Polo team whose displacement is truly impressive, and I would be remiss not to point you in that direction. […]

  8. JamieJeffords
    July 30th, 2012 @ 11:36 pm

    Scoff if you wish, but Shawn Johnson was the number one post for The Eye last week.  She resembles a cartoon chipmunk.

  9. Adjoran
    July 30th, 2012 @ 11:53 pm

    Wasn’t it Roone Arledge who invented the “Up Close & Personal” approach for Wide World of Sports for ABC back in the day?  The idea was to profile a contender in an upcoming event, often a little-known or little-followed sport, to give viewers a rooting interest, a reason to care about Transgendered Tandem Tiddlywinks or whatever.

    In the meantime they could sneak in a little tutorial on the sport so the viewer knew what to look for in the upcoming, and they killed some air time to fit in a few more commercials.

    But it’s gotten completely out of hand in the modern Olympic era and we tend to get profile after profile.  There is more time spent on this crap than on actual competitions.  And you know why?  It’s the women.

    Not the athletes – and little Kelly Strug may have been a scrawny little girl, but I’ll take her courage and heart over a diva like Jeff Gordon any day – the women in the audience.  They don’t give a rat’s patootie what “curling” or “triathlons” are,  but they love a good story, especially if it’s kind of sad – like the poor little kid raised by wolves who fed only on discarded fast food on the roadside and sneaked into frat houses to suck the remaining beer out of the cans and bottles after a party just to survive, but still managed to realize his Olympic dream by making the national Dung-hurling team.

    I tried to tell you people it was a mistake giving them the vote.

  10. Shawny
    July 31st, 2012 @ 12:13 am

    What a warm, open, gorgeous face she has and a winning smile.   You guys should be jealous of the dog.  I’ll bet that’s one spoiled pup who knows what sided his kibble is buttered on.  Take note, Ms Melissa prefers to be welcomed home with much tail wagging and a full body hug. 

  11. Bob Belvedere
    July 31st, 2012 @ 7:57 am
  12. Bob Belvedere
    July 31st, 2012 @ 7:58 am

    Well put…but it’s ‘Miss’.

  13. M. Thompson
    July 31st, 2012 @ 2:16 pm

     Remember, happiness makes a woman much more attractive, and she’s a good bit of woman.

  14. Olympic Boob Shot? USA! USA! USA! : The Other McCain
    August 2nd, 2012 @ 1:38 pm

    […] chicks — or even getting twisted thrills watching jailbait gymnasts, you sick freaks — who told you that women’s water polo is the sport to watch for real Rule 5 Olympic action?Now, via Deadspin and Mediaite, we learn that NBC briefly showed a […]

  15. Go for the Gold, Melissa Seidemann! : The Other McCain
    August 6th, 2012 @ 5:39 pm

    […] for the Gold, Melissa Seidemann!Posted on | August 6, 2012 | No CommentsHaving previously made clear my enthusiasm for water polo – the Official Olympic Sport for Guys Who Like Full-Grown Women — I am pleased to […]

  16. U.S. Women’s Water Polo Team Wins Gold Medal With Five Goals From Maggie Steffens and Support From This Blog : The Other McCain
    August 10th, 2012 @ 12:18 pm

    […] to my favorite player, Melissa Seidemann. Because I can, that’s why.PREVIOUSLY:July 30: USA! USA! USA!Aug. 2:  Olympic Boob Shot? USA! USA! USA!Aug. 6: Go for the Gold, Melissa Seidemann!Category: […]