Why Don’t We Just Go Ahead and Nuke Those Vicious Communist Bastards?

Posted on | April 11, 2013 | 49 Comments

When you write headlines like that, you don’t expect any offers of “senior fellowships” at leading think tanks or book offers from prestigious New York publishers, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a valid policy proposal. I woke up this morning and checked the Drudge headlines:

NKOREA: 'Powerful striking means' on standby... WATCHCON 2: Missile spotted in strike position... US intelligence reveals launch zone...

As a Neutral Objective Journalist, I was able to write a brief news summary of this story without sharing my personal opinion of the Commie dictatorship in Pyongyang, but speaking as a God-Fearing Red-Blooded American, there can be no doubt. If it were up to me, North Korea would be reduced to radioactive vapor and smoldering cinders, and if you disagree with that policy, I question your patriotism.

Of course, nuking Pyongyang to Kingdom Come would be just the start of The McCain Doctrine — if those Reds in Havana don’t take the hint, I say we send a couple of carrier task forces and a divison or two of Marines to finish the job that should have been finished in April 1961.

And once we’re done killing all the foreign communists, then we’ll take care of Marxist university professors . . . .

UPDATE: A valid criticism:

@tgilfeth You’re right “Vicious Communist” is as redundant as “Corrupt Democrat.” theothermccain.com/2013/04/11/why… I’ll make a note of it.

— Robert Stacy McCain (@rsmccain) April 11, 2013

Category: Education, History, North Korea

Comments

49 Responses to “Why Don’t We Just Go Ahead and Nuke Those Vicious Communist Bastards?”

JeffS
April 11th, 2013 @ 2:43 pm

Hmmmmmmmm. High heeled boots. Assault rifles. Bulky uniforms. Russki hats. Pretty girls.

I’ll give ’em a 60% score for that photo. The Norks, I mean. Not Drudge.
benning
April 11th, 2013 @ 2:49 pm

So what ever happened to those “MOAB” bombs we had, and used, during the campaign in Afghanistan? WHy aren’t they being dropped on the NK cities when Li’l Kim is in them? Heck, even a few bunker-busters would do the job.

Sheesh! >:(
JeffS
April 11th, 2013 @ 2:49 pm

As for nuking the bastards, try to miss the concentration camps. Send in the Marines to liberate them, and turn the guards over to the former prisoners.
Adjoran
April 11th, 2013 @ 2:54 pm

Unfortunately all the fallout would drift into South Korea and Japan.

When China gets tired of the crap, they can put a stop to it in two weeks’ time by cutting off supplies. They hold the lifelines for the Norks. Up to now, they’ve been munching popcorn and watching all the trouble the Norks are causing ROK, Japan, and the US, ever since Jimmy Carter torpedoed a peace deal with actual inspections – which was agreed and ready for signing before he decided to “help the negotiations.”
Laree Lee
April 11th, 2013 @ 2:57 pm

Laree Lee liked this on Facebook.
David Van Brunt
April 11th, 2013 @ 2:57 pm

David Van Brunt liked this on Facebook.
Zilla of the Resistance
April 11th, 2013 @ 3:03 pm

Run, Stacy, run! Other McCain 2016: He’ll nuke our fucking enemies – what’s not to like about that?
Zilla of the Resistance
April 11th, 2013 @ 3:06 pm

Oh, there you go, Adjoran, getting all smarty pants on us when we’re all fired up with fiery radioactive bloodlust. Ya buzzkill. Fine, use other kinds of bombs to blow them off the map then, even if you can’t use a catchy #NukeTheNorks hashtag for it. Darn it all.
Evi L. Bloggerlady
April 11th, 2013 @ 3:21 pm

I would like to do so too, but I doubt folks in Seoul would appreciate it.

Oh btw, it is link Dan Collins day. Do it for Korea! http://evilbloggerlady.blogspot.com/2013/04/everyone-link-dan-collins-day-and.html
Dianna Deeley
April 11th, 2013 @ 3:48 pm

Why are those women wearing high heels?

I already know why this administration hasn’t done anything.
surfcitysocal
April 11th, 2013 @ 4:12 pm

Gee, I’m really impressed that NoKo soldiers parade around in 5-inch platform heels. Must make for great mobility in a muddy battlefield.
Wombat_socho
April 11th, 2013 @ 4:35 pm

Why waste nukes when a few dozen pallets of food dropped from high altitude would bring Great Successor’s regime to its knees? (h/t Sam Kinison for the original concept)
What to do about North Korea? | The Daley Gator
April 11th, 2013 @ 4:48 pm

[…] Now, such a foreign policy would draw condemnation, and several strongly worded letters from the Useless Nations, and the “global community” would be outrageously outraged. can you think of two better reasons to adopt such a policy? The Other McCain has a similar plan […]
Kevin Boeckxstaens
April 11th, 2013 @ 4:55 pm

I’m not sure, Wombat. In what way would that work? Incite revolts or something?
Kevin Boeckxstaens
April 11th, 2013 @ 4:59 pm

My suggestion: carpet bomb pretty much all of (inhabitaed) North Korea to pieces with daisy cutters and make sure you kill all the vicious commie rat-bastards with any kind of power. After that, give the land to the South Koreans – they’ll know how to make something worthy of it.

And after we’re done with North Korea, let us not forget about Teheran and Mekkah. Now, they might really need some big nukes.
Rob Crawford
April 11th, 2013 @ 5:06 pm

How about we send them emergency survival rations instead of the guards?

The guards, we just shoot.
Rob Crawford
April 11th, 2013 @ 5:07 pm

They’re members of a special commando unit formed in the ’90s to take on Bill Clinton.
herddog505
April 11th, 2013 @ 5:11 pm

You beat me to it.
I’m also not interested in p*ssing off the Red Chinese by having fallout land on THEM, something they likely won’t forgive / forget any time soon.
herddog505
April 11th, 2013 @ 5:12 pm

It may be that they are so brainwashed that they’d JOIN their guards in defense of the Dear Leader (or whatever Kim Jong-fatty is called).
WarEagle82
April 11th, 2013 @ 5:21 pm

I was wondering the same thing. Plus, should you wear heels with rifles? That just seems like a major fashion faux pas…
Bob Belvedere
April 11th, 2013 @ 5:21 pm

But why are they still around? Our current CinC wouldn’t be interested in them, IYKWIMAITYD.
Bob Belvedere
April 11th, 2013 @ 5:23 pm

Exactly. I would waste our nukes on the Norks. Like you said: save them for the Mohammedins.
Kevin Trainor Jr.
April 11th, 2013 @ 5:42 pm

Kevin Trainor Jr. liked this on Facebook.
Wombat_socho
April 11th, 2013 @ 5:48 pm

Well, the ones crushed by the pallets wouldn’t be up for much, but once the proletariat gets a belly full of food, they might be inclined to revolt so as to keep it coming.
Wombat_socho
April 11th, 2013 @ 5:48 pm

He does seem a tad light in the loafers, doesn’t he?
Wombat_socho
April 11th, 2013 @ 5:48 pm

Great Successor. Dear Leader was the previous buffoon.
M. Thompson
April 11th, 2013 @ 5:49 pm

We’ve got a couple of ammo depots of nukes, and Trident II’s are still in production.
JAMed171
April 11th, 2013 @ 9:07 pm

Uhrm, daisy cutters or MOAB’s, and, mostly, targeted. Just to avoid potential radiation exposure to friendlies. I doubt if it would take a dozen, plus another dozen in an air patrol for any hotspots that might consider attempting to go live.

My guess is China might be onboard at this point. While their economy is slave enough to be eating it’s own environment (at least at a record pace), and dependent on the West which is in decline, they like what they have. Otherwise we need to ship out and let them all deal with their little dramas. Get China in and you’ve got my vote to move the goods.
Dai Alanye
April 11th, 2013 @ 9:44 pm

No guts, no glory, old buddy.
Dai Alanye
April 11th, 2013 @ 9:46 pm

!st place so far.
Eric D. Mertz
April 11th, 2013 @ 10:46 pm

So long as the DPRK strike first, China will not do a blessed thing – except maybe invading the DPRK themselves. But, if the RoK hits first – or any of her allies for that matter – then they MUST support the DPRK or risk losing all credibility in the region. And yes, our military knows this.
Patrick Carroll
April 11th, 2013 @ 10:47 pm

I really can’t find it in me to kill everybody in North Korea, simply because they’re living through the third generation of a cult of personality.

Besides, I really don’t think China will sit still for the possibility of American troops on the Yalu.

Why not negotiate a deal with China to kill the head guy what’s in charge, and the inner circle, let South Korea mop up the remains, move American troops off the peninsula – to Japan, and enjoy all that liberation love?

I know, I know, deprogramming of the North Koreans. Well, love-bomb them with McRibs for a week or so. Mission Accomplished!
Patrick Carroll
April 11th, 2013 @ 10:54 pm

I, for one, welcome our new North Korean Dominatrix Overladies.

Please, please, walk up and down my back in those lovely heels while spouting Juche dialectics.

A bit of hot candle wax would be nice, now and again.
Adjoran
April 11th, 2013 @ 11:28 pm

Dear Marezilla, you must look at the bright side: nuking Iran instead would leave a fallout driven by prevailing winds into Afghanistan and Pakistan. So everybody wins!
Adjoran
April 11th, 2013 @ 11:29 pm

Absolutely! Without your attitude, the Jackass movies could never have been made.
Adjoran
April 11th, 2013 @ 11:30 pm

I thought his street name was Soft Flabby?
Adjoran
April 11th, 2013 @ 11:32 pm

I’m with you – if we start from the east, none of the fallout hits our friends, just a bunch of barbarians who happened to park their camels on oil fields.
Shawny Lee
April 11th, 2013 @ 11:33 pm

So, Obama can’t deal with NK because they actually do pose a threat to our country and he doesn’t have a local Muslim terrorist contingent armed to deploy to overthrow Mmm Mmm Un? Besides, we know the chithead in chief believes the “Responsibility To Protect” does not apply to Americans. Children can you say “stand down”? It’s time to see how O and the Putinator define “more flexibility after the election”. The last damned thing anyone one needs is for our juvenile dictator wannabe to play chicken with the new NK juvenile dictator in chief. Neither are nearly responsible enough to even have a learners permit for nukes.
Adjoran
April 11th, 2013 @ 11:34 pm

I was sure once the second term was won Reggie Love and the other “real good friend” (forgot his name) would be allowed in the White House and along on the President’s long weekend excursions while Michelle plays Single Mom.
Shawny Lee
April 11th, 2013 @ 11:35 pm

Nuke um? Hell, if he’ll even stand up and list them instead of arming them and sending them all our money, he’s got my vote.
Adjoran
April 11th, 2013 @ 11:44 pm

Yeah, if Boy George could have kicked yer ass in a slap-fight, you’re pretty much walking on sunshine. And I bet George would slap Barry into a TKO in the 1st.
Adjoran
April 11th, 2013 @ 11:48 pm

China worries about a unified Korea on its border, and the attention Japan might turn towards her if they didn’t have to worry about an unstable rogue regime in Pyongyang.

But there’s no need to “deprogram” the Nork people, any people who have lived under totalitarian socialism know very well how awful it is.
Adjoran
April 11th, 2013 @ 11:50 pm

I disagree, although the Chinese would certainly try to provoke a crisis to make ROK and us back down. But China isn’t going to war to save the Norks. They are not yet strong enough to take on the US, ROK, and Japan.
Allen Reinertsen
April 11th, 2013 @ 11:50 pm

OK, lets make it a birthday party! 15 Apr is Kim ll Sung’s birthday – except some fireworks
Eric Ashley
April 12th, 2013 @ 12:01 am

We get people occasionally saying how wonderful Stalin was over in the Russki’s….feel free to explain that insanity because I’m a little perplexed.
Shawny Lee
April 12th, 2013 @ 5:13 am

Geez, I don’t know bud. I like your idea. Those Marxist professors present a much bigger threat to our general welfare than Pudge Dung Buns and his nuclear arsenal do though. Maybe we should start here and work our way out…..through those 80+ congresscommies and all our in house enemies. Your son shouldn’t be risking his skin out there for anything we’re not also willing to risk our own skin for here. And that’s the damned truth. Think the days of others doing the fighting for us are over.
Bob Belvedere
April 12th, 2013 @ 8:00 am

Damn good point.
Eric D. Mertz
April 12th, 2013 @ 8:12 am

That’s the PRC’s problem, they long ago signed a mutual-defense pact with the DPRK. They bound themselves to helping the DPRK in case of an invasion. They have signed similar treaties with a number of nations, nations which are major suppliers of raw materials to the People’s Republic of Tyranny. But, as their military and government have already stated, they will not save the DPRK from themselves if Kim-Jong Un starts the war himself. Its why Un hasn’t done anything which would give the USA or the RoK a jus casus belli yet, in order to stand any chance of surviving he MUST make it look like American Imperialism / Aggression or he is on his own with the world’s largest collection of ditch diggers between the DMZ and himself.

It’s the Sino-North Korean Mutual Aid and Cooperation Friendship Treaty and it is in force for the next eight years. If the DPRK is still in existence in eight years, China will NOT renew it any longer. Mostly because the coming demographic crash will be as obvious to them as it is to me.
Dr. Gonzo
April 13th, 2013 @ 9:22 pm

My friends both congratulate and crticize me for being Blue through and through . . . which of course I am. But godammit, if that fatty bastard up in Pyongyang so much as twitches I say we blow him straight to Mars. If he launches so much as a single rocket, North Korea will cease to exist, and in the scheme of the world I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Playing with your father’s gun is one thing, but playing with his nuclear arsenal is inexcusable.