The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

It’s a @CharlieSheen Christmas, Bitch!

Posted on | December 17, 2013 | 47 Comments

Perhaps you’ve forgotten the complete manic breakdown Charlie Sheen had in February and March 2011, when he announced that he was “tired of pretending I’m not special . . . a total freaking rock star from Mars,” trashing everybody, boasting about his drug intake and publicly flaunting his porn starlet “goddess” girlfriends.

What’s wrong with Charlie Sheen? Simple: He has been enabled.

His wealth and fame have been exploited by Sheen as a license to escape responsibility and treat other people as his inferiors. The TV producers who pay Sheen big bucks are part of the problem, but the real problem is Charlie Sheen himself. There are other celebrities who make big money but are not abusive a–holes. The narcissistic black hole of damaged ego at the center of Sheen’s “Hollywood Bad Boy” act has been indulged and enabled by everyone around him for so long that he doesn’t even realize how wrong it is to treat other people like objects whose only purpose in the world is to admire him and/or provide him with pleasure.

Anyway, Sheen erupted at his ex-wife Denise Richards this week:

Denise Richards is the Grinch who stole Christmas … at least according to Charlie Sheen — who’s pissed at his ex-wife for pulling the plug on his holiday plans with their daughters.
Sources close to Sheen tell TMZ Denise informed Charlie this weekend she didn’t want him to join her, Sam, and Lola on their family Christmas trip — and didn’t really explain why.
We’re told the news sent Charlie into a tailspin since he’s already not seeing twins Bob and Max this year for Christmas — they’ll be with temp guardian/Brooke Mueller’s brother Scott.
Sheen lashed out at Denise by tweeting a pic of a chopped up baseball bat — a souvenir from their wedding — with the caption, “The lie is over. I’m done being treated like a relative with a one-way ticket. #DuhNeese.”

This is typical Sheen: He habitually treats people like crap and then is outraged when they don’t tolerate his abuse.

“You’re a f***ing liar. So, you know what it’s like,
f**k you. OK, I hope you rot in f***ing hell.
You’re a piece of s**t f***ing liar and
I hope you f***ing rot in hell. So f**k you.
I hope I never f***ing talk to you again,
you f***ing c**t. F**k you.”

 Has Charlie forgotten that voice-mail message he left Denise Richards in 2005? Does he think she has forgotten it? And yet, rather than thinking about all the hurt he has inflicted on his ex-wife over the years, when she does something that makes him angry, the narcissist Charlie Sheen thinks of himself as the victim — and compounds the damage by publicly insulting her as “DuhNeese.”

Dude: Denise Richards was once the hottest woman on the planet.

There was a time when millions of guys would have died for just one smile from her, and she consented to marry you, and I don’t care what “a total freaking rock star from Mars” you think you are, you should have been grateful for that, but you weren’t.

No, you blew it, Charlie. And that’s all ancient history now, but it’s not like you’re the only dude on the planet who has problems with his ex-wife, and I make it a point never to express pity for dudes in your situation, because there’s a matter of principle involved.

“My ex-wife’s a crazy, evil, two-faced castrating bitch!”

Yeah? Well, you married her, didn’t you?

It wasn’t like somebody put a gun to your head. There are more than 3 billion women on the planet, not all of whom are crazy, evil, two-faced castrating bitches and so, even if your ex-wife is the worst woman in the world, you’re still not completely blameless.

You had a choice, and chose badly.

Or maybe not. Maybe your ex-wife is not the worst woman in the world, and you are to blame for your broken relationship. But either way, you cannot escape responsibility and the fact is, even as a 42-year-old mom, your ex-wife is still pretty doggone hot, whereas you are an increasingly grizzled old creep whose “bad boy” act has long since lost its charm. There is no reason anyone should feel sorry for you, and every reason for us to feel sorry for your ex-wife, who will always be The Only Good Thing About Starship Troopers.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to order Wild Things from Amazon Instant Video and watch “the good parts” in slow motion.

 

Category: Celebrities

Comments

47 Responses to “It’s a @CharlieSheen Christmas, Bitch!”

  1. strongamerica2
    December 17th, 2013 @ 10:40 am

    RT @smitty_one_each: TOM It’s a @CharlieSheen Christmas, Bitch! http://t.co/NpoE1dIDka #TCOT

  2. rsmccain
    December 17th, 2013 @ 10:47 am

    It’s a @CharlieSheen Christmas, Bitch! http://t.co/lmMDW5Pubz

  3. darthodius
    December 17th, 2013 @ 10:52 am

    RT @rsmccain: It’s a @CharlieSheen Christmas, Bitch! http://t.co/lmMDW5Pubz

  4. rsmccain
    December 17th, 2013 @ 10:53 am

    @DENISE_RICHARDS Just so you know: We’re all on your side. http://t.co/lmMDW5Pubz

  5. Red__Rover
    December 17th, 2013 @ 11:26 am

    It’s a @CharlieSheen Christmas, Bitch! : The Other McCain http://t.co/EMaux66mie

  6. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    December 17th, 2013 @ 11:58 am

    I knew this story would upset RSM. He will not tolerate any disrespect to Denise Richards.

  7. Calvin Everhart
    December 17th, 2013 @ 12:03 pm

    I can’t blame him either, She seems like a good mother.

  8. Dana
    December 17th, 2013 @ 12:03 pm

    Our esteemed host noted:

    Dude: Denise Richards was once the hottest woman on the planet.

    Kind of like Tiger Woods, who was married to a Swedish bikini model, and thought there was an upgrade.

    A man’s intelligence is often determined by the head with which he thinks.

  9. Calvin Everhart
    December 17th, 2013 @ 12:04 pm

    So true, So true.

  10. Dana
    December 17th, 2013 @ 12:06 pm

    Besides, Denise Richards was just totally believable as a starship pilot in Starship Troopers, and as a nuclear physicist in The World Is Not Enough.

  11. Finrod Felagund
    December 17th, 2013 @ 12:08 pm

    She was very believable as a topless dancer in Under Siege.

  12. ZillaStevenson
    December 17th, 2013 @ 12:13 pm

    RT @rsmccain: @DENISE_RICHARDS Just so you know: We’re all on your side. http://t.co/lmMDW5Pubz

  13. robertstacymccain
    December 17th, 2013 @ 12:35 pm

    You ride the rodeo circuit until you get that big championship buckle, then you hang up the spurs. The reason I’m not tempted to fool around — beside the fact that my wife is so hot — is the dread fear that I might not live up to The Legend.

    Better to let them wonder, “Was he really as awesome as everyone says?” Having earned a reputation in one’s prime, is it worth risking it by some fumbling middle-aged exploit? No.

    The Legend remains.

  14. robertstacymccain
    December 17th, 2013 @ 12:43 pm

    It’s just that Charlie is such an egotistical douche. How bad of an ex-wife could Denise Richards be? And who’s fault is it that she’s an ex-wife?

    Given what we know about Sheen’s attitudes and habits, I have a hard time believing that he’s actually a victim here.

    Also: She is SO hot. Or at least, she once was so hot that even if she’s not quite as hot as she was, she still deserves credit for her former hotness.

    It’s like Sally Adams. I’ve told the story about the day when Sally showed up for her first day of high school band camp wearing pink hot pants. On that day, every guy who saw her wanted her. And so, even though she’s now a 50-ish grandma, in my mind, Sally is still that same girl.

    Sally Adams is eternally hot in my memory, and that’s what really matters.

  15. richard mcenroe
    December 17th, 2013 @ 1:04 pm

    Let’s face it, we’re past due for that Alec Baldwin/Charlie Sheen buddy project.

  16. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    December 17th, 2013 @ 1:08 pm

    Real men don’t have hissy fits. No wonder Camilia Paglia is a lesbian.

    This post had Rule 5 written all over it too…

  17. JRose1965
    December 17th, 2013 @ 1:09 pm

    RT @rsmccain: It’s a @CharlieSheen Christmas, Bitch! http://t.co/lmMDW5Pubz

  18. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    December 17th, 2013 @ 1:10 pm

    You are our own Ron Burgundy…because being Ron Jeremy would not be as cool.

  19. Federale
    December 17th, 2013 @ 1:23 pm

    Starship Troopers totally rocked!

  20. robertstacymccain
    December 17th, 2013 @ 1:28 pm

    Absolutely.

  21. Dana
    December 17th, 2013 @ 1:29 pm

    Somehow I’ve managed to miss that movie.

  22. Don’t Mess with Denise Richards or Alyssa Milano… | Batshit Crazy News
    December 17th, 2013 @ 1:29 pm

    […] RSM will get fired up. […]

  23. Dana
    December 17th, 2013 @ 1:30 pm

    If the showers were really like that in BCT, the Army would have a lot easier time in recruiting.

  24. Mm
    December 17th, 2013 @ 1:43 pm

    That was not Denise Richards. That was Erika Eleniak of Baywatch.

    I was on the same flight with Richards about ten-eleven years ago. No makeup, petite, very sweet and quiet. Bozo was not with her.

  25. Mm
    December 17th, 2013 @ 1:44 pm

    That Bond movie would be my favorite but for the unfortunate casting of Richards as Dr. Christmas Jones.

  26. Finrod Felagund
    December 17th, 2013 @ 1:50 pm

    D’oh! My bad.

  27. Finrod Felagund
    December 17th, 2013 @ 1:52 pm

    It’s not a bad action movie, as such things go; I’ve heard it called Steven Seagal’s only decent movie. Gary Busey and Tommy Lee Jones play the bad guys.

  28. Mm
    December 17th, 2013 @ 2:28 pm

    S’allright. I’m here to help with important facts like these.

  29. charles w
    December 17th, 2013 @ 2:41 pm

    She was in Undercover Brother. Epic cat fight.

  30. Jim Breed
    December 17th, 2013 @ 4:14 pm

    Four words. Shower scene Starship Troopers.

  31. Adjoran
    December 17th, 2013 @ 4:58 pm

    Sheen’s a jerk. Wow, thanks for the breaking news, no one knew that before!

    Of course he’s also a jerk who got a $25 million buyout to NOT work on his sitcom anymore, PLUS he retains his contractual royalties from syndication of the seasons he was in, which is a bundle, plus he has some cable comedy show ongoing.

    So I suspect he will be able to get over the harsh lashing of this post and carry on somehow.

  32. samk
    December 17th, 2013 @ 5:25 pm

    Affluenza.

  33. Quartermaster
    December 17th, 2013 @ 6:47 pm

    You dog! I had forgotten about Starship Troopers, and you had to go and remind me of it. The pic was such a turkey even she didn’t lighten it up.

    I thought you thought Mrs. TOM was the hottest woman on the planet?

  34. Steve Skubinna
    December 17th, 2013 @ 7:11 pm

    I always thought the One Good Thing about Starship Troopers was Obergruppenfuhrer Doogie Howser.

    I actually can enjoy that film, but only by insisting that the similarity of title with Heinlein’s novel is just a strange coincidence. It’s actually a comic book adaptation and there was a mixup in production with the Heinlein adaptation, which has so far not yet been released.

  35. Steve Skubinna
    December 17th, 2013 @ 7:11 pm

    I always thought the One Good Thing about Starship Troopers was Obergruppenfuhrer Doogie Howser.

    I actually can enjoy that film, but only by insisting that the similarity of title with Heinlein’s novel is just a strange coincidence. It’s actually a comic book adaptation and there was a mixup in production with the Heinlein adaptation, which has so far not yet been released.

  36. Steve Skubinna
    December 17th, 2013 @ 7:12 pm

    Her performance in the Bond film is why Ben Affleck hasn’t won Most Believable Portrayal of a PhD, for Clear and Present Danger. In fact, after she did her role they retired the prize.

  37. Steve Skubinna
    December 17th, 2013 @ 7:14 pm

    Actually it’s the only decent Seagal film. Lots of fun. Silly, but even my Dad, who actually served aboard USS Missouri, enjoyed it.

  38. Steve Skubinna
    December 17th, 2013 @ 7:15 pm

    Agreed. Seagal can’t act his way out of a paper bag, but with Busey and Jones chewing the scenery he doesn’t need to.

  39. Steve Skubinna
    December 17th, 2013 @ 7:15 pm

    Agreed. Seagal can’t act his way out of a paper bag, but with Busey and Jones chewing the scenery he doesn’t need to.

  40. Charles
    December 17th, 2013 @ 10:22 pm

    I give Wild Things 4 stars, Love Actually and The World Is Not Enough 3 stars, and Starship Troopers and Drop Dead Gorgeous 2 stars. The marriage to Charlie Sheen gets 1 star, with 5 stars for divorcing him. And, yes, I am grading on the curves.

  41. Steve Skubinna
    December 17th, 2013 @ 10:33 pm

    I mean, come on, the classic Yes standard Satrship Trooper has a lot more similarity to Heinlein’s book.

  42. JeffS
    December 18th, 2013 @ 12:10 am

    WithOUT Denise Richards. Ergo, not relevant to this thread.

  43. nun
    December 18th, 2013 @ 12:14 am

    You know, thanks for pointing out that we can send some points your way even for the stupid instant video orders.

    e.g. Vanderpump Rules, Ancient Aliens, and so on…

  44. Susannah72
    December 18th, 2013 @ 3:01 am

    It’s a @CharlieSheen Christmas, Bitch! http://t.co/uWOJxCxoYp (Via @rsmccain.)

  45. rsmccain
    December 18th, 2013 @ 3:34 am

    RT @Susannah72: It’s a @CharlieSheen Christmas, Bitch! http://t.co/uWOJxCxoYp (Via @rsmccain.)

  46. Jim Breed
    December 18th, 2013 @ 7:54 am

    You are right! All this time it had been Seared in my mind just like Christmas in Cambodia. I must hide my shame.

  47. Bob Belvedere
    December 18th, 2013 @ 8:26 pm

    Same here.

    Is it a burden for you as well, Stacy?