The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Who’s Pumped Up?

Posted on | June 22, 2014 | 20 Comments

It’s weird how I’m totally into this year’s World Cup, given that we all know soccer is a Commie sport. But my daughter married an Argentine, and those Argies are absolutely crazy for soccer. So I’ve got two teams to cheer for, and Argentina has already clinched its spot in the round of 16, thanks to a goal in the 91st minute against Iran by Lionel “Lio” Messi, The Greatest Player in the Entire History of the Game™ (at least according to those soccer-crazy Argies).

The thing is, in the World Cup, you not only cheer for the teams you like, you cheer against the teams you hate. So Argentina fans were happy to see England eliminated — yes, the Argies are still sore about that Falkland Islands business — and they were also happy when Mexico held Brazil to a scoreless tie, because Brazil is disgusting scum (at least according to those soccer-crazy Argies).

Anyway, the United States is in a good position in Group D, having defeated Ghana 2-1 with a goal in the 86th minute on a sweet header by John Brooks, a 21-year-old substitute who was briefly named “the greatest American since Abraham Lincoln” on Wikipedia.

Bad news: USA lost its starting striker Jozy Altidore to an injury. Good news: Ghana played Germany to 2-2 tie, which means that if America defeats Portugal today, we clinch a berth in the round of 16. Bad news: Portugal lost 4-0 to Germany in their first game, and we can expect Portugal to be playing with desperate intensity. We do not want to lose this game, because USA’s final game Thursday is against Germany. If we can’t beat Portugal, we’ve zero hope against Germany.



20 Responses to “Who’s Pumped Up?”

  1. World Cup 2014 Rule 5 | Batshit Crazy News
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 5:18 pm

    […] TOM: He’s pumped up! […]

  2. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 5:20 pm
  3. Shawn Gillogly
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 5:45 pm

    I love the game. I love the desire and drive of this #USMNT. And the sport is actually the last bastion of Capitalism in Europe. 😉

  4. Dave R
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 5:58 pm

    As much as you’d like to be friendly with your son-in-law, as near as I can tell, US soccer fans cheering for Mexico is like Alabama fans cheering for Auburn. It isn’t done, ever, under any circumstances.

  5. Lemuel Vargas
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 5:59 pm


  6. RS
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 6:05 pm

    USA is in Group G, BTW. Alas, so is my “country-in-law” Germany. John Brooks who scored the game-winner against Ghana grew up in Germany (German mom.) His German is infinitely better than his English, which is quite amusing.

  7. Good Stuff
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 6:48 pm

    05:30 in Thailand – watching the game with 5 sleepy puppies

    the world cup is a big thing here – sure hope the USA team wins

  8. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 7:29 pm

    Does it make you feel patriotic?

  9. John Bradley
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 7:55 pm

    Son of a…!

  10. Mm
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 7:56 pm

    Argentina has fantastic food. Fantastic. Over 40% of the population is of Italian descent.

  11. WarEagle82
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 7:57 pm

    Tough break to give up a goal in the last 15 seconds for the tie. Quite a game!

  12. Good Stuff
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 7:58 pm

    DAMN 2-2 last minute

  13. WarEagle82
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 7:59 pm

    Well, it depends on the SEC standings on that last game. But there have been games where ‘Bama fans have cheered on Auburn in those last few games, and vice-versa. But it sure makes your head hurt to have to root for ‘Bama…

  14. WarEagle82
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 8:00 pm

    There is nothing like the stars and stripes to make a red-blooded American male come to attention.

  15. John Bradley
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 8:25 pm

    So, question: Assuming the US loses to Germany, and someone wins the Portugal-Ghana match, we’ll be tied at 4pts with the winner of same. Is the first tiebreaker Goal Differential (in which case we should be rooting for Portugal with their -4), or is it head-to-head (in which case we should root for Ghana, having beaten them)?

    Obviously, beating or tying Germany simplifies matters, but what’s the back-up plan?

  16. WarEagle82
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 8:47 pm

    I grew up in Germany but I am a red-blooded American so I’ll obviously be rooting for America.

    However, I fully expect the Germans will run our boys into the ground.

    It will be like “The Battle of Lanzerath Ridge” all over again.

  17. Dana
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 9:10 pm

    Futbol: what guys who can’t play real football play.

    Elliot Rodger probably played soccer.

  18. WarEagle82
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 9:40 pm

    When I was a kid, Fußball was a great way to keep in shape for football season. You run your butt off all the time.

  19. Lemuel Vargas
    June 22nd, 2014 @ 10:14 pm

    Of course!!! w/ that beautiful smile of hers coupled w/ that oh so wowzie body, who would not be?

  20. Bob Belvedere
    June 23rd, 2014 @ 9:17 pm

    I can’t believe that so many on the Right are okay with this Commie Sissy ‘Sport’.

    Jesus Christ and General Jackson, America Is Doomed.