The World Is Safe From Me Cramming Wool Up My Backside & Using It To Knit

Posted on | January 5, 2015 | 22 Comments

by Smitty

In stark raving sane contrast to some woman in Australia, I just want everyone to know that the general relaxation I find in doing knitting and crochet (at least I used to, before fatherhood) will not be enhanced through caching the material in a (presumably cleaned and suitably prepared) body cavity.

. . .the performance project aims to address taboos surrounding female genitals and a woman’s body in general, similar to the many provocative endeavors spearheaded by Jenkin’s art activism group, Craft Cartel.

One hopes, as a matter of public safety, that Jenkins doesn’t seek to address taboos surrounding metal knitting needles and electrical outlets. Because I just don’t know if that kind of hardcore Raising Awareness about the need to Make a Difference while being all Mindful and stuff could blow my year’s supply of General Empathy for People Committed to Creative Stupidity, and it’s still the first week in January.

I realize I’m probably being Politically Incorrect, and could trigger some hardcore feminist animus against this blog. Feminists do love this blog, right, Stacy? But let me just go there anyway. You’re supposed to respect and admire this perversion of human flesh, if a suitably empowered person such as Jenkins does it.

Do keep it at the forefront of your mind that, were, say, Larry Flynt to commission a set of Jenkins-style silk stockings from some 3rd world location doubling as an artillery range, such artifacts would (probably) be exploitative, misogynistic, and despicable. Even if he paid substantial wages for the accessories.

The moral of this story is that, in our Brave Feminist Future, absolutely no *pussyfooting* around with art will be tolerated.

via Instapundit

Category: Culture, humor

Comments

22 Responses to “The World Is Safe From Me Cramming Wool Up My Backside & Using It To Knit”

Evi L. Bloggerlady
January 5th, 2015 @ 1:06 pm

Thank you for not performing that sort of performance art Smitty. We appreciate it!
Scoob
January 5th, 2015 @ 1:36 pm

Totally unrelated–have you seen the headline on Drudge? Bubba, pedophile, and teenage sex slaves. How long before the feminists denounce Bubba? I will hold my breath until they do . . . 1, 2, 3, 4 … RIP.
K-Bob
January 5th, 2015 @ 1:40 pm

She needs to look up Toxic Shock Syndrome. It’s a laff riot.

BTW folks, Charles C. W. Cooke has a really fine article up over at NRO about the phenomenon of the “Guest Scold”, specifically in reference to John Oliver’s program.

Bring your OED with you. Charles spares no expense on the 5$ words.

Charles C. W. Cooke: The Guest Scold
Jerry Beckett
January 5th, 2015 @ 1:58 pm

“The World Is Safe From Me Cramming Wool Up My Backside & Using It To Knit”
Well, that’s a load off of my mind….
Andy Fox
January 5th, 2015 @ 2:46 pm

Yes I am very relieved.
Bob Costas, Conservative Liberal… No, Really | Regular Right Guy
January 5th, 2015 @ 3:37 pm

[…] The World Is Safe From Me Cramming Wool Up My Backside & Using It To Knit […]
So This Is Really A Performance Art Thing? | The Thinking Man's Zombie
January 5th, 2015 @ 4:15 pm

[…] Sheila down under is doing Va-Jay-Jay knitting? Really? Please tell the National Endowment for the Arts gave this a […]
K-Bob
January 5th, 2015 @ 4:26 pm

Knit #1

Purl #2
Black Folks Disturb White Folks’ Brunch to Make a Mythical Point | Regular Right Guy
January 5th, 2015 @ 4:33 pm

[…] The World Is Safe From Me Cramming Wool Up My Backside & Using It To Knit […]
Charles Vermont
January 5th, 2015 @ 4:46 pm

No vagina jokes, PERIOD.
Aussie54
January 5th, 2015 @ 4:47 pm

Knitting and crochet are artful, as is tatting, bobbin lace-making and a whole range of other crafts. We are trying to keep these crafts alive and we do not need a crass individual doing such things….
A metal crochet hook could do as much damage as a metal knitting needle… and I am also talking about the internals.
These feminists make me feel totally disgusted.
K-Bob
January 5th, 2015 @ 4:59 pm

Makes me wonder how old-timey sailors protected their scrimshaw artwork while attending to their duties.
DeadMessenger
January 5th, 2015 @ 5:11 pm

This woman is not just “in Australia”, she’s in DARWIN Australia. Enough said.
RichFader
January 5th, 2015 @ 5:45 pm

Any woman can store yarn in her happy place and then pull it out and knit it with needles. I had the thought this might involve her actually knitting with her happy place. She’d never be poor or lonely again. Cosmo would hire her as a sex-advice columnist and ensure the former. Ardent male admirers would take care of the latter.

And I thought vajazzling was bizarre.
Paul Krendler
January 5th, 2015 @ 6:09 pm

If she could shove a ball of yarn in there and pop out a pair of mittens in fifteen minutes, I would not only pay to see it, I would probably buy the mittens, too.
Adobe_Walls
January 5th, 2015 @ 7:48 pm

Actually I doubt it was a realistic enough possibility to be concerned.
Adobe_Walls
January 5th, 2015 @ 8:00 pm

This story came out a while ago (6 months?) there was a picture. There’s no happy needles.
Zohydro
January 5th, 2015 @ 8:27 pm

Come on, AW! Say it like you mean it…
The World Is Safe From Me Cramming Wool Up My Backside & Using It To Knit : The Other McCain | That Mr. G Guy's Blog
January 5th, 2015 @ 8:28 pm

[…] The World Is Safe From Me Cramming Wool Up My Backside & Using It To Knit : The Other McCain. […]
Jim R
January 5th, 2015 @ 9:17 pm

Boy, art has really… um… evolved… or something… over the years, hasn’t it? I mean, we’ve gone from the Pieta, the Mona Lisa, “Romeo and Juliet” and “The Messiah” to… er… um… women sticking…
Oh, never mind.
I hope the taxpayers of Australia didn’t pay for this rubbish. But, they probably did.
Shawny
January 5th, 2015 @ 9:37 pm

They didn’t call it “booty” for nothing.
Squid Hunt
January 6th, 2015 @ 12:27 pm

In the Philippines, I’ve heard, women do this sort of thing just for the entertainment.