Having a Merry Trump Christmas, Because @Jillboard Hates Jesus

Posted on | December 24, 2016 | 2 Comments

Jillian Gutowitz, trying unsuccessfully to become popular on YouTube, July 2013.’

Jill Gutowitz (@Jillboard on Twitter) is a lesbian feminist Democrat from New Jersey who lives in Los Angeles, where she spent Election Night at a gay bar watching her entire world come crashing down in flames:

We thought we’d be able to ring in our first female president together. We were wrong. . . .
As my friends and I stood at The Abbey last night, watching our country slip through our fingers, we saw laughter turn to sadness, sadness turn to fear and finally, fear turn to pain. . . .
“He won,” I muttered as I burst into tears. . . . “How did this happen?”
I’ll tell you how it happened. 58 percent of white people voted for Trump; 53 percent of men, 42 percent of women. White people, what have you done? I had faith that our country was progressive and inclusive; that wasn’t realistic. This wasn’t fear; this was a white lash at the progress we’ve made. People aren’t scared, they are racist and misogynistic. . . .

A Democrat lost, a Republican won — unimaginable, to a 25-year-old lesbian feminist Democrat from New Jersey who was in middle school the last time (2004) a Democrat lost a presidential election.

 

 

This kind of rage/grief reaction by young Democrats is, to a great extent, a result of their having bought into a narrative of “progress,” believing themselves to be On The Right Side Of History and (incorrectly) thinking of the pre-Obama past as a Dark Age of Right-Wing Oppression.

Democrats and the media (but I repeat myself) have promoted this belief so relentlessly that, if you’re a half-educated 25-year-old, you might actually believe that America was a vast nightmarish concentration camp during the presidency of George W. Bush. Not until Jan. 20, 2009, with the swearing-in of President Obama, did our nation become “progressive and inclusive,” the lesbian feminist Democrat believes. When America failed to elect Hillary Clinton, this meant Jill and her friends in the L.A. gay bar were “watching our country slip through our fingers” and why? Because white people are “racist and misogynistic”!

If this election proved anything, it’s how much we hate women. This was an act of hate. This was selfish. And to those I know personally who voted for Trump; thanks for saying out loud that you don’t care about anyone but yourself. Nothing was at stake for you; our literal lives are at stake. It breaks my heart to see the swarm of wealthy, white men in red hats celebrating today — as if straight white men needed something more to celebrate. Trump gave these people an outlet to behave badly and now they’re being rewarded for their behavior. It feels like America is a social experiment that finally failed.

Jill, honey, we need to talk about your Kool-Aid addiction, OK? Because you’ve had wwaaaayy too much of it, and it’s not good for you.

Maybe you’re wondering why, Ms. Gutowitz, I decided on Christmas Eve to write about your absurdly over-the-top reaction to Donald Trump’s election. In fact, I’d never heard of you before yesterday, when by coincidence I stumbled onto something you wrote back in January:

Start Sleeping with the Same Sex
and Get On With Your Life
This is a call to arms. Straight people, I want you to stop daydreaming about boning your hot same-sex “girl crush” or “man crush” and just do it. I’m tired of your s–t. I don’t want to hear you say, “I totally could be gay but the only thing stopping me is licking a vagina.” Why you thinkin’ bout lickin’ a vagina, huh? Newsflash: lesbians don’t just sit around thinking about cleaning p–y off their face.
You think I wanted to be gay so I could lick vaginas? No. That’s not how it works. I found out I was gay cause I was having extremely close personal attachments to the same sex. So if you’re saying you’re feeling all the emotional sides of a lesbian relationship and you are sitting around thinking about licking a vagina…SEEMS PRETTY GAY.
I used to think the same thing as you: “I can’t go down on a girl!” Turns out, I’m super gay! Do you know how many excuses I’ve made for not being gay? . . .

Jill, you are mentally disturbed. You’re deranged, demented, bonkers, berserk, a few fries short of a Happy Meal and cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

 

Rather than list every synonym for “crazy,” Jill, instead I’ll just let you describe yourself and your life:

I feel like a failure every day. . . .
I don’t like men. They’re mean and rude and I’ve almost always had purely negative experiences by them. . . .
I feel inadequate in everything I do. . . .
I’m not having sex because I’m scared of everyone. I think everyone is garbage.
I wish everyone was LGBTQ: we’re more understanding and open minded and kind. . . .
I feel like my insides are constantly withering and black and twisted and dying. I have anxiety. . . .
I asked my mom if she thought I was bipolar and she said “maybe.” I weaned myself off my anxiety medication over the last month because I was having more panic attacks than ever. I was more depressed than ever. . . .
I have a mental illness. I break down all the time. . . .
My romantic love has been almost unanimously unrequited. . . . I’ve never been fulfilled by a relationship. . . .
I used to believe in right and wrong. I used to believe in the idea of “deserving” something. Now I do not.

Jill, has anyone explained to you that spending too much time on social media is highly correlated to depression in young people? Online interaction becomes a substitute for doing anything useful or productive with your time. You start comparing yourself to other people, imagining yourself in some other life, and your actual life — you know, the one where you stay in your room all day, scrolling Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc. — seems even more pathetic when compared to the fantasy alternative in your imagination. So now we will return to your genuinely demented everybody-is-gay column from January:

I, like many in America, had a s–ty 2015, mostly because at the top of the year, I came out. It was f–king hard to deal with . . . because not only did I come out, but also I found out I was gay. It wasn’t a secret I was hiding since my pubes sprouted; it was something I discovered about myself in my 23rd year of life. I was mortified and embarrassed that I, a self-aware and anxiety-ridden Jew (only by blood), could go 23 years without knowing something about myself so crucial to my being. It was because I, like many people in America, dealt with years of internalized homophobia . . .

Oh, yes — “internalized homophobia”! Who invented this? Didn’t it come from the same Bad Idea Factory as “latent homosexual tendencies”?

Back in the Freudian heyday, when all the pop-psych talk was subconscious urges and “complexes” and how-do-you-feel-about-your-mother, the notion that one could harbor “latent tendencies” was one of those pseudo-diagnostic hypotheses that was impossible to disprove. Yes, I’m a middle-aged guy who’s been married 27 years and has six kids, but obviously I’m just overcompensating. Like the Kinsey Scale, the whole point of “latent tendencies” seems to have been to convince us that everybody’s at least a little bit gay. It’s a psychological con game, a sort of gay PUA hustle: “Now that we have determined you have ‘latent tendencies,’ what the heck, why not give it a try?”

Never try to pull that kind of cheap con on me. It insults my intelligence. So let’s get back to Jillian explaining her “internalized homophobia”:

As a kid, I was a tomboy. I was bullied for being boyish and I had no friends that were girls. So I was forced to adapt. I started dressing more “girly,” in the American vernacular sense of the word, but it was too late. I was already friends with all the boys in the school. None of them saw me as a sexual object like they did the girly girls. . . .
I spent high school being basically asexual and unaware of it. I liked boys because I knew I was supposed to. I didn’t have a boyfriend until my senior year and when I finally had one, I didn’t even like him, I just wanted a prom date. . . .

Pardon my interruption, Ms. Gutowitz, but didn’t you grow up in middle-class suburban New Jersey? Weren’t you a “good girl,” the bookish nerdy type, who mainly hung around with your fellow nerds? Weren’t you rather closely supervised by your parents, who emphasized the importance of doing well in school so you could go to college? There was no way you could have gone the tight-skirts-and-heels route, dressing like a jailbait hooker and hanging out downtown with the Bad Boys, right?

The awkward middle-class child, over-directed and over-supervised by well-intentioned parents, often drifts through adolescence without giving any sign of their inner angst. Making good grades, staying out of trouble — no external warning signals, but inside they feel like outcasts or misfits, and wonder why they can’t achieve the kind of popularity and social success that seems to come so easily to others: “What’s wrong with me?”

To which the correct answer is: Nothing, really.

You’re immature, you didn’t develop good social skills, you got into a habit of hanging around losers, your posture’s slouchy — there’s a whole list of possible reasons why a teenager may feel like a misfit, without having to resort to “internalized homophobia” to explain it. And I’m not even going to get into page two of your everybody-is-gay narrative, Ms. Gutowitz, except to note your use of the phrase “my therapist.”

 

Ding! Ding! Ding! Jackpot! This is your big tip-off that she’s a suburban middle-class girl who was just a wee bit too sheltered as a kid — she’s seeing a therapist. It’s like when we learn that the wacko who went on a shooting rampage was on Xanax, Paxil or Prozac. Here’s a hint for you single guys: Never get involved with a girl who’s seeing a therapist because (a) she’ll turn you into another “problem” for her therapist to help her “solve,” besides which (b) if she wasn’t emotionally crippled, she wouldn’t need a therapist, would she? No good outcome is possible from getting into a relationship with a nutcase like that. Even a casual hook-up could be dangerous. She might turn out to be an obsessed stalker — a few years ago, a crazy woman became obsessed with a buddy of mine and he quite literally had to flee the country to get away from her.

Speaking of stalkers, Ms. Gutowitz, whenever I do this — i.e., find an obscure example of 21st-century feminism and make her famous — the depth of my research often causes them to freak out: “Why is he so obsessed with me? Harassment! Misogyny!” Don’t sweat it.

Enjoy your brief uptick of notoriety, ma’am. Because my habit is to work in file-it-and-forget-it mode, unless your freak-out is particularly amusing, I won’t even remember your name a month from now.

 

“How To Dodge Questions About Your Sad Life” — that was the title of a video you did in July 2013, when you were 21 and recently graduated from Ramapo College in suburban Bergen County, New Jersey, “one of the wealthiest counties in the United States, with a median household income of $81,708 per the 2010 Census.” The population of Bergen County is 72% white, 14% Asian and less than 1% black. Also, “Bergen County is home to the largest Jewish population in New Jersey.” So there you are in your video, making fun of “your sad life,” at age 21, mocking your mother’s questions about whether you’ve got a job yet, etc., a perfect cliché of the disrespectfully sarcastic Millennial brat and also, not coincidentally, the Jewish homosexual Democrat from New Jersey.

It’s the “Democrat” part of that equation that makes it worth discussing on a political blog, because exactly why are so many Jews (and homosexuals) trying to convince us that Donald Trump is Hitler?

Was it Donald Trump who just threw Israel under the bus at the U.N.? No, that was President Obama and, while I don’t think Middle East policy should be turned into a litmus test of anti-Semitism, I am skeptical of the whole Cultural Marxist theme that anyone who is “right-wing” must also be a Jew-hater. This is a sadly familiar Democrat Party propaganda tactic, and the recent “alt-right” scare is part of it. Stipulate that there actually are “alt-right” Jew-haters, yet there are also “alt-right” Jews, including “alt-right” Jewish homosexuals, but you’re not one of those.

 

In an ideologically polarized two-party system, the component elements of the rival coalitions are always shifting, sometimes incrementally and sometimes quite suddenly. The upheavals of the 1960s, for example, brought into the Republican Party coalition many blue-collar workers and also the so-called neo-conservatives. During the 1970s, controversies over abortion and education policy alienated many Catholics and evangelical Protestants from their previous loyalties to the Democrats, giving rise to the Moral Majority and, later, the Christian Coalition. This process is continual, shaped by historic events as well as by organized activism, and frequently gives rise to new political phenomena, e.g., the anti-Iraq War protest movement, the Tea Party, Occupy Wall Street, GamerGate, and so forth. As a journalist, watching these things come and go over the decades, I’ve learned that the key to anticipating future developments is to keep an eye out for incipient “fringe” movements that have a potential to grow into something influential. All of this is to explain, Ms. Gutowitz, how and why I began paying attention to radical feminism in 2014, and why I sometimes focus on an obscure young feminist like you, who writes such kooky stuff as this February 2016 column:

Why I’m Boycotting Straight White Television
I don’t have a normal job. I work at a very progressive, gay-leaning, millennial, nighttime FM radio show. There are eight of us who work there — three women, myself included, five men. Though everyone there is a phenomenal person and identifies as a feminist, I’m the only one who regularly yells about issues in the LGBT community and sexism. So naturally, I’m constantly prodded at about my feminist comments.
For example, I often say that I don’t watch any heteronormative movies or television shows. I joke around that I’m boycotting content about straight white people that involve zero queer women. My coworkers will taunt me and say, “Isn’t it anti-equality and non-inclusive to boycott stories that aren’t about you?” . . .
I, like every other LGBTQ-identifying person, grew up without seeing stories being told about people like us. . . .
Sorry, angry white baby man, but for now, it’s goodbye.

Well, who’s the angry baby now, Ms. Gutowitz?

“I’ve spent the last 9 days in horror,” you wrote Nov. 17 on Tumblr:

Every waking minute of my time has been spent torturing myself on Twitter; hearing stories of hate crimes and bigotry, seeing swastikas spray-painted across neighborhoods, reading every article on every headline and every comment made about it. I’ve been harassed and bullied by Trump supporters, patronized, been told I was whining, wallowing, being dramatic and that I need to grow up and accept the results. I’ve had people tweet me that they’d like to see Trump “kill lesbians.” I’ve had multiple panic attacks, fainted on a sidewalk, tried meditating, constantly feel like I’m going to throw up . . .
Another thing people keep saying is that you “MUST” talk to the Trump supporters in your life . . . I tried doing that this morning and that ended really, really badly for me. I was bullied and patronized, called names, ridiculed for being TOO educated, was told that I’m ruining friendships by trying to start a discussion and was tormented for being the “bad guy.” I want to tell you this; DO NOT talk to the Trump supporters in your life if you do not feel safe. I repeat. DO NOT TALK TO THE TRUMP SUPPORTERS IN YOUR LIFE IF YOU DO NOT FEEL SAFE. . . .

For the past eight years, with Obama as your Darth Vader and the liberal media as your Death Star, the Cultural Left has been playing the role of the Galactic Empire in this 21st-century saga, even while telling yourselves that you were the Rebel Alliance, believing that all those Tea Party people out in the Heartland represented The Dark Side.

 

Oh, yes, Democrats were on The Right Side of History™ and soon they would vanquish all those ignorant Baptists and Catholics, all those blue-collar pickup truck-driving heterosexual white males from dreary places like Ohio, Florida, Indiana, Wisconsin, Iowa . . . Oh, wait a minute!

 

 

 

 

Damn it! White people can still vote in America, and there’s no way to stop them from voting Republican if they get tired of Democrats. All your boasting and bullying — telling men to “shut the f–k up,” mocking “Butthurt White Men,” and “rich straight white men” — did you think people weren’t paying attention, Ms. Gutowitz? Do you think Americans are so stupid we can’t figure out that Democrats hate us? You have been shouting it from the rooftops: Democrats hate white people, Democrats hate men, Democrats hate heterosexuals and, if we disagree with Democrats, they’ll call us racist sexist homophobes.

“Every day I thank my goddess, Oprah, that I live in Los Angeles, a place I often take for granted for being so progressive and accepting of queer culture. Because I live this charmed life, I tend to forget the extent of which homophobia hovers all around us.”
— Jillian Gutowitz, June 30, 2016

When I set out to do a job, ma’am, I don’t like to do it halfway. That’s why I spent hours digging down into your YouTube channel, going back to when you had your “Worst Day Ever” in May 2012 and celebrated the two-year anniversary of your “Jillboard” blog. Neither of those videos had more than 800 views as of yesterday, and it’s sad to see a young person desperately trying to become “Internet famous” and failing.

It is also sad to watch somebody fail and then employ a sour-grapes rationalization to convince themselves that their failure is a good thing. For example, the way you did your “Straight Girl” video in the character of “Monica,” ridiculing heterosexual women as conformist idiots.

 

Really, Jill, could your psychological projection be more transparent? Let’s mock those heterosexual women — your mother, for example — who “dress a certain way” so that they “give off a vibe of privilege” because they conform to “societal norms” and have “boring” jobs.

Your entire online persona is like a Rorschach test, Ms. Gutowitz. Here, let’s run through a few tweets you’ve posted in the past two years:

 

Really, Jill? How do you expect people to react when they see that kind of deranged rhetoric? “Hey, I think I’ll vote for the Democrats!”

Jillian Gutowitz has always dreamed of becoming famous. You can help her by exploring the archives of her lesbian feminist Tumblr blog:

• LGBT page 1
• LGBT page 2
• LGBT page 3
• LGBT page 4
• LGBT page 5
• LGBT page 6
• LGBT page 7
• LGBT page 8

So, according to lesbian feminist Jillian Gutowitz, the two most important things for young people to remember are:

1. Be homosexual;
   and
2. Vote Democrat!

She’s posted hundreds of selfies to her Instagram account, also known as “Lesbian Feminist Jillian Gutowitz Hugs and/or Kisses Every Lesbian Feminist in the Greater Los Angeles Metropolitan Region.” If someone knew nothing about life in America except what appeared on your social-media accounts, Ms. Gutowitz, they might well imagine that every woman in the country is a gay Democrat who hates men, Republicans, babies, heterosexuality and Jesus (not necessarily in that order). And there’s nothing Democrats love more than mocking their own mothers:

 

You stay classy, lesbian feminist Jillian Gutowitz! You’re like the best Christmas gift a Republican could ever hope for. God bless us, everyone!

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Feminism is about weird people and bizarre ideas. Readers who wish to express gratitude for my service in finding this one should remember the Five Most Important Words in the English Language:

HIT THE FREAKING TIP JAR!

 

“Ye shall be as gods” (Genesis 3:5) was the false promise of Satan’s original lie. https://t.co/t77KB9H1NI pic.twitter.com/xkCzVSBGDR

— The Patriarch Tree (@PatriarchTree) July 4, 2016

 

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