The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Man Arrested at St. Patrick’s Cathedral Is Chubby Incel Philosophy Professor

Posted on | April 20, 2019 | Comments Off on Man Arrested at St. Patrick’s Cathedral Is Chubby Incel Philosophy Professor


Marc Lamparello was arrested Wednesday as he tried to enter St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York with four gallons of gasoline. Because it was the same day Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris burned, people obviously feared some kind of terrorism, but it turns out Lamparello is from a devoutly Catholic family in New Jersey, a Boston College alumnus who was music director of a Catholic church and had taught philosophy at Seton Hall, a Catholic university. So, no “Allahu Akbar” here.

No motive is known. Lamparello tried to lie his way out of it after he was arrested, claiming his car had run out of gas (it hadn’t), and that doesn’t explain the lighters he was carrying. However, it is known that Lamparello had been arrested Monday at Cathedral Basilica of the Sacred Heart, in Newark, N.J., after he refused to leave, which may indicate he had some kind of personal psychiatric crisis. And his postings on a Reddit forum indicate what his problem was:

In August, he wrote about his own appearance, “I’m going through a phase. After not giving a sh*t about my appearance for 20 years, I’ve swung in the opposite direction. Now, I’m very vain and appearance-obsessed. I’ve lost 70 pounds, 25 more to go. . . .”
He also wrote about struggling on a dating app, “Honestly, I’m getting murdered on Tinder. It’s a total self-esteem killer. I’m a pretty in-shape guy, and I’m going for in-shape women who are a little attractive, and have a few nice features. Not models, but just generically attractive women. I’ve ‘swiped right’ on 500+ women. So far, not a single match. Depressing. I think I should probably give up on dating for the time being, and focus really hard on school and work and saving up as much as I can for plastic surgery. Based on the consults I’ve had with my plastic surgeon, I’m confident I can go from a 4/10 to a 7.2–7.3/10. That’s what I’ll focus on now.”

So, he’s an “incel” who can’t get laid, and blames his appearance.

His mistake was so obvious, you might think a guy who graduated Phi Beta Kappa in philosophy could have figured it out, but no. His pursuit of what he calls “generically attractive women” on Tinder was an error, but he was unable to process the feedback accurately. Why do people use dating apps? Because they’re losers — nobody who knows them in real life is willing to date them. If you’re successful, popular and attractive, you don’t need Tinder (Bumble, OKCupid, etc.) to find a date. The world of online dating is composed entirely of losers, and if you encounter a woman on Tinder who is “generically attractive,” you’ve got to figure she’s damaged goods somehow, but then again, what about you?

You’re 37 years old and you’ve got no other options? L-O-S-E-R.

Forget about “generically attractive women,” a complete loser like Marc Lamparello should be grateful for any female companionship at all.

By the way, it’s not your looks to blame. Not really. However physically unattractive you might be, somewhere there is someone even uglier than you who’s managed to find somebody to date. Why? Because they were willing to accept whoever they could get, and be grateful for it. Also, they probably didn’t wait until they were in their 30s to hit the panic button.

Human mate-selection is like a game of musical chairs. Beginning around age 15, couples begin to pair up and, while these couples may break up, with the individual partners then re-entering the dating pool, even in the 21st century many people still marry their “high school sweethearts.” The median age at marriage has increased, but if you’re still unattached at 25, you should be concerned, especially if you don’t have a track record of previous romantic success. Like, it’s one thing to be a guy who had a steady girlfriend in high school, but you broke up after you went to college and met somebody new, and then that didn’t work out, so you find yourself single in your early 20s. The feedback isn’t completely negative, you’ve been successful with women in the past, and you’re still fairly young. But if you didn’t have a high school girlfriend, or if your previous relationships ended because she dumped you, rather than vice-versa, your prospects are less encouraging. And the older you get, the more your chances diminish, because the pool of available partners is continuously shrinking, with people getting married and having kids. Oh, sure, many of those marriages will end in divorce, but guess what? A divorced mother of two isn’t interested in dating a 37-year-old loser who’s living with his parents in New Jersey. Nobody is interested that guy, honestly, and so the moral of the story is, don’t be a loser.

There’s no real secret to success involved. The problem with losers like Marc Lamparello is that they miscalculate their chances, failing to properly analyze the feedback — dude, you’ve got zero chance with “generically attractive women” — so that they refuse to lower their expectations to a reasonable level. This happens to women, too, although female losers tend to have somewhat different narrative arcs. In general, however, unattractive people are likely to end up alone if they refuse to “settle” for whatever romantic opportunities they can find, because they believe they are entitled to more attractive partners.

It’s like Elliot Rodger, who became fixated on the idea that, as the “Supreme Gentleman,” he was entitled to date skinny blonde sorority girls. You don’t need a Ph.D. in psychology to understand why this is so crazy. It’s basic market economics — the supply of skinny blonde sorority girls is limited, and the demand is nearly infinite. You mighty suppose the basic principle involved would be apparent to a Phi Beta Kappa philosophy major like Marc Lamparello, so that he wouldn’t have needed to “swipe right” on more than 500 Tinder profiles to figure out he had no chance with “generically attractive women.” Young people need to be warned they are living in an age where romantic success is increasingly difficult to obtain, in large part because addiction to online media — video games, Netflix, YouTube, pornography, etc. — have caused so many people to withdraw from real-life social interaction. The less time you spend in face-to-face human contact, the more your social skills deteriorate and the more unrealistic your expectations become.

Why are so many Millennials unable to adjust to real life? Isn’t it because their parents, who didn’t grow up in the social-media universe, were not cognizant of the dangers posed by this digital vortex of craziness and isolation, and thus failed to warn their kids to avoid it?

Hey, kids, log off once in a while. Maybe go run a mile or two, hit the gym, ask your buddy to go hang out at the local sports bar for Happy Hour. Talk to some actual human beings face-to-face for a change. And stay away from the craziness out there. Crazy People Are Dangerous.



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