The Other McCain

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First Round of Democrat Presidential Debates Tonight at 9 p.m. ET on MSNBC

Posted on | June 26, 2019 | Comments Off on First Round of Democrat Presidential Debates Tonight at 9 p.m. ET on MSNBC

Ten candidates, including Massachusetts Sen. Elizabeth Warren and washed-out wonderboy Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke, will take the stage tonight in Miami, and i’ve got my TV tuned to MSNBC already. The pre-debate discussion — currently being anchored by Nicolle Wallace — is insane. Can’t imagine how the actual debate will be.

UPDATE: Swear to God, watching a half-hour of MSNBC is like stepping through the looking-glass into an alternate reality. They’re sitting around talking about the traumatic experience of 2016. Yeah, it was so traumatic — I nearly laughed myself to death.

UPDATE 9:07 p.m. ET: Beto just spoke Spanish and went overtime.

UPDATE 9:09 p.m. ET: Corey Booker, “famous heterosexual” as Ace calls him, just said some stuff about how “this economy is not working for average Americans.” Booker lumped Amazon in with Enron?

UPDATE 9:12 p.m. ET: Julian Castro just talked about growing up poor and immediately segued into passing the Equal Rights Amendment.

UPDATE 9:13 p.m. ET: “For too long, our leadership failed us,” says Tulsi Gabbard, speaking of U.S. foreign policy.

UPDATE 9:14 p.m. ET: Mayor Bill DeBlasio just endorsed a 70% top tax rate.

UPDATE 9:15 p.m. ET: John Delaney has zero chance. The man has no charisma. He is not merely charisma deficient, he is the opposite of charismatic.

UPDATE 9:16 p.m. ET: Some guy — I missed his name — just went on a rant in favor of wind turbines as the jobs of the future or something.

UPDATE 9:19 p.m. ET: Elizabeth Warren hates giant corporations. She loves “green technology,” claiming there is a $23 trillion market for green products.

UPDATE 9:21 p.m. ET: Amy Klobuchar wants a “public option” for health care. Accuses Trump of “giveaways” to pharmaceutical companies.

UPDATE 9:22 p.m. ET: Elizabeth Warren hates insurance companies, because profits and stuff. She endorses “Medicare for all.”

UPDATE 9:24 p.m. ET: Beto wants “high-quality universal health care.” He considers abortion basic health care.

UPDATE 9:25 p.m. ET: DeBlasio jumped in and started lecturing Beto, then Delaney jumps in and says “Medicare for all” will put hospitals out of business.

UPDATE 9:27 p.m. ET: Tulsi Gabbard is very attractive. I mean, just looking at her versus looking at Elizabeth Warren? It’s Gabbard by a landslide. So I’ll guess she will gain a point or so in the polls, on that basis alone.

UPDATE 9:28 p.m. ET: Elizabeth Warren really hates profit. Health insurance companies are profitable, so she hates them.

UPDATE 9:29 p.m. ET: Everybody started talking at once, and then Amy Klobuchar started talking about women’s “right to choose.”

UPDATE 9:30 p.m. ET: Julian Castro just endorsed taxpayer-funded abortion for the “trans community,” and the audience cheered.

UPDATE 9:32 p.m. ET: OK, I’ve watched a half-hour of this circus, and I need to go smoke a cigarette to try to calm down. It’s crazy.

UPDATE 9:45 p.m. ET: Sorry I was gone so long. Fixed myself a couple of hot dogs while I was out. When I got back, Beto was arguing with Julian Castro about immigration. They’re both for open borders, so I don’t know what the argument was really about.

UPDATE 9:47 p.m. ET: Tim Ryan loves immigrants almost as much as he hates Republicans. The audience applauds.

UPDATE 9:52 p.m. ET: A few reactions from Twitter:

UPDATE 9:55 p.m. ET: Did I mention that Tulsi Gabbard is very attractive? I mean, I don’t care what kind of crazy socialist talk comes out of her mouth, I just enjoy watching her talk.

UPDATE 10:02 p.m. ET: There was some kind of microphone problem while Chuck Todd was asking Elizabeth Warren about gun control. Mass confusion on stage, so they’re taking another commercial break.

Greedy corporate profit opportunity!

UPDATE 10:08 p.m. ET: “Gun violence is a national health emergency,” says Warren, failing to explain what she’d do about it.

UPDATE 10:12 p.m. ET: “We need trauma care in schools,” says Tim Ryan, portraying school shooters as victims of bullying.

UPDATE 10:14 p.m. ET: Beto talking about how he promoted gun control in Texas, without explaining that this is one reason he’s currently unemployed.

UPDATE 10:31 p.m. ET: Cory Booker just said we need to talk about “trans Americans,” particularly “trans Americans of color.” Fiercely heterosexual!

UPDATE 10:31 p.m. ET: More Twitter reactions:

UPDATE 10:39 p.m. ET: Tulsi Gabbard just called for withdrawal from Afghanistan, and looked very attractive while doing so.

UPDATE 10:41 p.m. ET: Tim Ryan disagrees with Tulsi Gabbard. He’s much less attractive than her. Just sayin’ . . .

UPDATE 10:43 p.m. ET: Beto gets a question from Chuck Todd about impeachment. This makes no sense. Beto’s not in Congress. He’s running for president. If he wins . . . no need for impeachment, right?

UPDATE 10:47 p.m. ET: Rachel Maddow just asked John Delaney if President Trump should be prosecuted after leaving office. Delaney said this is not an issue that the American people care about. True, sir, but this is MSNBC, and their audience cares about nothing else.

UPDATE 11 p.m. ET: It’s over, thank God. I don’t know what it means. I suppose we’ll have to wait for Thursday’s debate, and then after that wait for the next few polls to see if this had any impact.



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