The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

‘Gosh, I Wonder Why Hunter Biden Is Such a Hopeless Basket Case of Failure?’

Posted on | August 21, 2021 | Comments Off on ‘Gosh, I Wonder Why Hunter Biden Is Such a Hopeless Basket Case of Failure?’

Said no one, ever.

At least not after the past week, during which President Basket Case has demonstrated once and for all what a hopeless failure he is.

To understand Joe Biden, you’ve got to begin by realize how significant it is that he’s a Northeastern Irish-Catholic Democrat who grew up in a time and place where such people exercised a decisive influence in American political life. Biden was 17 years old when JFK was elected president, and the Kennedy clan — that big sprawling Irish-Catholic family, JFK’s father being a wealthy banker who married into the most powerful political family in Boston — was the kind of dynastic situation that today’s elderly Democrats idealized in their youth.

Joe Biden hoped to make Delaware the basis of his dynastic fiefdom, and having his son Beau elected attorney general of the state at age 37 was a step in that direction, but then Beau got cancer and died, which left Hunter as the Biden dynasty’s lone hope, such as it was.

Hunter Biden is to Beau what Ted Kennedy was to JFK, but Teddy lived in a pre-Internet age when sexually predatory Democrats with substance abuse problems could rely on their buddies in their press corps to ignore their drunken lechery. Hunter goes from scandal to scandal, a perpetual source of family shame, and it’s all over the Internet where anybody can look it up. And we see that the acorn doesn’t fall too far from the oak.

So far as I know, Joe Biden never had a substance abuse problem, but he has long been notorious for his dishonesty problem. The fact that his first presidential campaign ended with a plagiarism scandal is a huge clue as to what’s fundamentally wrong with Joe, namely that his entire life he’s been a copycat, trying to mimic the success of others, so that he has become a poor-quality imitation — a wannabe Kennedy who morphed into a wannabe Clinton and is now a wannabe Obama.

There is nothing authentic about Joe Biden. His entire life is a cheap ersatz copy, the political equivalent of a fake Gucci bag. And what kind of heir do we expect such a dynasty of phoniness to spawn?

Thoughts of dynastic succession are in the forefront of my mind today because we’re preparing to take our youngest daughter off to college. Being a father of six (and now a grandfather of five), I understand how people can be judged by the quality of their offspring. Parents have to worry that their kids will screw up and ruin the family’s reputation.

So far, at least, none of my kids have turned into coke addicts or gotten any Arkansas strippers pregnant. This is a rather low threshold for parenting success, I suppose, but it’s one that the President of the United States couldn’t manage to clear. Of course, we expect better things of our children, and it would be nice if our youngest child were to graduate summa cum laude, like her older sister did, but far be it from me to leverage sibling rivalry in such a cruel and unfair manner.

No, the important thing is, avoid scandal. We are not demanding, over-involved “helicopter parents,” trying to micromanage our children’s lives. We encourage our children to become independent and self-sufficient, capable of managing their own lives. And also, to avoid trouble.

There’s a lot of trouble you’ve got to warn kids against nowadays, like, “Hey, son, don’t be sending pictures of your penis to girls.”

Every time I see headlines about one of these psycho killer rampages — “Ohio ‘Incel’ Arrested For Allegedly Plotting Sorority Mass Shooting” — I send my kids text messages: “Mass murder is not cool.” You’d think it wouldn’t be necessary to tell kids things like that, but apparently some kids need that warning, and so I want to err on the side of caution, like when I tell them, “Hey, kids, heroin is a bad drug.”

Last year, 93,000 Americans died of drug overdoses, so however silly it may seem to warn you kids against heroin — like, doesn’t everybody on the planet already know heroin is bad? — you have to warn them anyway.

NO DATING APPS!

How many people have to get murdered by someone they met on Tinder before people will listen to my warnings against dating apps? So that’s something I’ve warned my kids about, and I’m a lot less concerned about whether my daughter graduates summa cum laude than I am in making sure she avoids serial killers on dating apps. As bad as it would be for my daughter to get killed by a Tinder psychopath, just think how badly that would look for me, OK? It would be very embarrassing.

Think of how many times Hunter Biden has embarrassed his father, but now the father is embarrassing his son. So I think I’m going to make a deal with my kids: “If you’ll promise to stay away from addictive drugs, I promise not to surrender any countries to Islamic terrorists.”

Seems fair enough, doesn’t it?

Parenting is like football. You got to focus on the basics.




 

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