The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Total Eclipse = Total Insanity

Posted on | April 12, 2024 | Comments Off on Total Eclipse = Total Insanity

The lunatic is on the grass.
Remembering games
And daisy chains and laughs.
Got to keep the loonies on the path . . .

Generally speaking, insanity is more often associated with the moon than the sun, which is why we call crazy people lunatics. However, it’s important to remember that the moon is what causes a solar eclipse, by passing between the sun and the earth. We were not in the “path of totality” during Monday’s eclipse, but my wife traveled to Ohio as chaperone on a field trip to see it, and made the round trip without incident. The same could not be said for a certain Georgia woman . . .

A crazed woman opened fire on a Florida interstate — shooting two drivers — because “God” told her to do so via the solar eclipse, she said, according to police.
Taylon Nichelle Celestine, 22, left her Holmes County motel Monday and told motel staffers that she was directed by “God” to go on a shooting spree in relation to the total solar eclipse — even though the Sunshine State was not anywhere near the path of the astronomical phenomenon.
Celestine, driving a purple Dodge Challenger with Georgia plates, got onto Interstate 10 at the 112-mile marker and began firing at other vehicles within five miles of getting on the highway in Washington County, Florida Highway Patrol said.
She allegedly shot at a passing car on the interstate several times. The male driver of the vehicle was grazed by a bullet on the arm and was struck with glass fragments when a bullet shattered his window, the agency said.
He pulled over onto the shoulder of the highway and Celestine kept on driving, police said.
The reckless shooter — reportedly armed with both an assault rifle and handgun — kept driving west on I-10 and opened fire on a second vehicle near the 107-mile market, according to highway patrol.
That driver was shot in the neck and was rushed to a nearby hospital for treatment, the agency said.
Celestine continued driving until highway patrol troopers caught up to her near the 96-mile marker and pulled her over. . . .
She was taken into custody without incident and sent to Holmes County Jail, where she was booked on charges of attempted murder, aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, and improper discharge of a firearm.

“God told me to go on a shooting spree,” said no sane person, ever.

As crazy as this was, it was not the craziest incident inspired by the eclipse. That dubious honor goes to California “astrology influencer” Danielle Johnson, a/k/a “Danielle Ayoka”:

Danielle Ayoka is a certified Reiki Master Teacher, who is also trained in over 10 different alternative healing modalities. At a young age, Danielle had a near death experience at 3 years old, which served as her rite of passage into Shamanism. Coming from a rich lineage of Indigenous Shaman and Medicine Women, Danielle’s spiritual gifts began to blossom. Danielle began her tutelage with her personal healer in 2011, after beginning her own healing journey. After 3 years of intensive training, Danielle began to expand her abilities by creating a unique method of healing that combined her training along with her knowledge of energy, physics and psychology. After going to undergrad for Psychology, Danielle decided she wanted to go beyond the mundane limitations of the traditional theraputic methods of healing and started her professional career.
Offering services which include rituals, intuitive guidance, remote healing and astrology, Danielle has developed a grounded approach to total healing for the everyday struggles we face and experience in our lives. With clients world-wide, Danielle has helped subscribers in Argentina, Toronto, New York, Los Angeles, Japan, China, India, Australia, South Africa, West Africa, London, Korea, New Zealand, Spain and many more. Combining science, alternative healing, developmental psychology and statistical research on the impactful physiological effects that emotions and trauma have on our overall health and well-being, Danielle offers a unique approach to healing the mind body and soul.

Well, ma’am, how’s that “unique approach” working out for you?

Danielle Johnson was worried about the eclipse.
The astrology influencer and “divine healer,” who went by the name Danielle Ayoka online, called the upcoming astronomical event “the epitome of spiritual warfare” and told people they needed to “pick a side,” in posts Thursday on X.
Less than three days later, in the early morning before the partial solar eclipse, Johnson left a trail of tragedy in her wake: her partner stabbed to death in the kitchen of the family apartment in Woodland Hills, her 8-month-old baby dead after being pushed from Johnson’s moving Porsche Cayenne on the 405, and Johnson herself dead after crashing her car on Pacific Coast Highway in Redondo Beach.
Found by investigators lying about the Woodland Hills apartment: tarot cards and black feathers.
Law enforcement sources confirmed to The Times on Wednesday that Ayoka — who was active online as an R&B recording artist as well as an astrologer offering self-help and healing sessions for a fee — was Johnson, the suspect in the two deaths.
The LAPD has said little publicly about the motive in the deaths and stress the investigation is ongoing. Lt. Guy Golan, homicide supervisor for the LAPD Valley Bureau, said Johnson and her partner, 29-year-old Jaelen Allen Chaney, had no documented history of domestic violence or calls to the Los Angeles Police Department. There were no prior indicators of domestic strife, Golan said.
With no clear motive, investigators believe that the eclipse may have been a factor in the killings because of some of the things Johnson wrote just days before, according to sources, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to speak publicly.
Under the Ayoka moniker, Johnson issued a torrent of antisemitic screeds, conspiracy theories and alarmist warnings on Thursday and Friday. . . .
In late March, she posted a GIF of a tapered candle surrounded by leaves, calling it a “free eclipse protection candle for your mind and body” and advising users to “like to activate.” But as the eclipse drew nearer, her posts grew more alarming. On Friday she wrote an all-capital message: “If any spiritual account is not revealing the truth right now they are fake. They are lies. They have sold out and are on the wrong side. Wake up!” . . .

Despite her penchant for offensive posts, Johnson was popular online, with more than 100,000 followers on X who liked her increasingly worrying messages. Years ago she became a darling of the media, with numerous sites such as Refinery 29 and the Fader posting glowing reviews of the “clairvoyant” Johnson’s skills at giving followers “dead on descriptions of each zodiac sign and [guiding] them to wellness through detailed moon rituals.” She would often make posts about specific zodiac signs and how they were being affected at the time by astrological movements. . . .
Johnson started pursuing astrology and reiki — an energy healing technique — about a decade ago . . .
Johnson said . . . she was descended from Cherokee medicine women and was born with the ability to see spirits and a heightened intuition.

Astrology, “energy healing,” Cherokee medicine women as her ancestors, “heightened intuition” — how stupid do you have to be, to give money to someone on the basis of such preposterous claims? And yet, apparently people did give her money, because she was driving a Porsche:

She offered weekly aura cleanses for $2.99 ($1.99 for members of her site) as well as a healing series that was $150 per month for five months . . .
She also offered a $6.99 per month home purifying cleanse that stripped people’s residences of “stagnant energy,” citing better sleep and an increased “vibration” as some of the benefits. Activating the service was simple: purchase the cleanse, get a piece of paper and title it “home purifying cleanse” and write your address on it. Then tuck it away in a safe place, she wrote.
Her neighbors recognized Johnson’s kitchen in candlelight ceremonies she would host for her followers. . . .
[Dr. Natalie Rasgon, a Stanford professor of psychiatry] said it was likely that Johnson had underlying mental health issues.

(Thanks for that insight, professor!)

Investigators offered this account of the morning of the killings:
Johnson stabbed Chaney in the heart early Monday morning as he was on the couch. The evidence suggests that she attempted to drag his body out of the upscale apartment in the Woodland Hills Montecito Apartments complex, but at some point abandoned the effort and dragged his body back into the apartment’s kitchen.
The effort left bloody footprints in the corridor outside, and she was spotted with a noticeable limp in the aftermath. She then fled the apartment complex with her two daughters — one of them 9 years old, the other 8 months — ramming a gate with her car on the way out.
Shortly before 4:30 a.m., she shoved her older daughter out of the car with the infant in the girl’s arms as her vehicle neared the Sepulveda Boulevard/Howard Hughes Parkway exit. The older child survived the fall and escaped traffic, but the infant was killed.
Roughly half an hour later, police in Redondo Beach responded to reports that a black Porsche Cayenne crashed into a tree while driving more than 100 mph on Pacific Coast Highway near Vincent Street. The driver, who was pronounced dead at the scene, suffered massive injuries that made her identification difficult.
Two hours later, police arrived at Johnson’s apartment after a neighbor reported finding Chaney stabbed to death.

What’s the difference between “heightened tuition” and “underlying mental health issues”? Not much, I suspect. But what about the people who signed up for Danielle’s “weekly aura cleanses”? Are they going to get their $2.99 refunded? How will they get rid of the “stagnant energy” now that Danielle’s smashed into a tree at 100 mph?

Well, none of my ancestors were tribal shamans, and I make no claims in regards to intuition or an ability to cleanse anyone’s “aura,” but let me share with you these few words of wisdom:


That will be $2.99, thanks.


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