Category: Sissypuss the Blog Kitty

George Soros’s Diary Hacked! Ominous Revelations Abound.

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by Sissypuss the Blog Kitty

The recent operation to that special place on Martha’s Vineyard bore fruit.

13 Mary 2016

There are few joys in life like a long-term plan coming together.

Especially when the plan involves having your enemies cheerfully support, even DEMAND!, a plan that is destroying them.
The Bushes thwarted me in 2004, but the joy of setting my tool in the White House in 2008 was worth it. Sure, Hillary hated to be told to wait, but, hey, I told her: hatred ages like wine, if the plotting and timing right. My skill and patience since the demise of the Reich have paid off in ways that Hitler never could have dreamed.

But the shrew is greedy, which may yet prove her undoing. Of course I knew she had the email server, and told her it was a risk. Fortunately our people at State are keeping that particular email fully redacted. It’s also been cute to see the arrogant hussy try to run a few games on the side, to hustle some cash from the Davos crowd, as though they don’t fear me far more than her.

Sure, my idea of running Trump was rooted in the need to repeat our 1992 triumph. A classic, no? Alas, Ross Perot is my age, where it’s more interesting to make the publicly famous crawl on their knees in private than it is to be among the publicly famous. The GOP mob wasn’t interested in another Bush anyway, but were pleased to see a Bush-devouring tumor. So the fools let the cancer grow. My media properties, of course, have helped Trump metastesize, and he’s now nearly irreversible.

After the Tuesday winnowing, the only thing left between the GOP and the Void is Ted Cruz. He’d make a great servant if he could be turned. Which will make having him nominated VP, and then destroying him, sweeter still.

The fools don’t understand the hedge right under their noses. If they demand Hillary’s head on a silver charger, I can go on and let the email server and Benghazi hang out in plain sight. The truth of the banal encounter between Reggie Love and Barack would be so bad that Obama may just resign in shame rather than be stared at during every public appearance? Should I release the video? Two guys playing cards while heroes dies in a firefight, waiting for a rescue, while Valeri Jarrett, that Sarabi Mastiff, throws the heroes under the bus in the Situation Room? We’ve made Obama bullet proof, but even his career could not survive that level of blowback.

A few months of a Biden administration won’t make any difference to anyone living outside of former Communist Bloc countries. Vladimir plans to strike while the iron is hot and the White House isn’t during the summer months. Just to keep the chaos maximally high ahead of November.

No, Hillary might not drag her pant-suited carcass across the finish line that first Tuesday. Trump was fine with the throwing the election to her after the date to replace him with an actual candidate was past in most of the states. While he hates the rigidity of public life, he’s realizing that the office would feed his ego at a much higher rate than his reality show piffle, and growing a taste for it.

But can more damage be caused than by just installing this lout? Sure, Hillary would have continued the Obama descent into thuggery, but where is the art in being Northern Venzeula? No, it would have pleased Def Fuhrer more to follow the Manchurian Candidate with the München Candidate; to slide into fascism by veering from faux Socialism to faux capitalism. And have such a goody-two-shoes as Cruz in the co-pilot seat while everything spins seemingly out of control. He’ll be seen as the sanity check. At Miskatonic University.

And if those GOP fools go ahead and use the convention as a final anti-Trump effort, we just run him independently and repeat 1992. Hedge, I win; tails, they lose. And lose. And lose.

Sissypuss Conducted A Brief Interview With Thurston The Presidential Lip Fly

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by Sissypuss the Blog Kitty

Sissypuss: “There isn’t much love outside of Tehran for the whole nuclear ‘deal’. Many are calling it a steaming pile of crap.”
Thurston: “One sees a steaming pile, while another views a mound of fragant loam. It’s really time we just get past all of this anti-Iranian racism, don’t you think?”
S: “What about the rumor that you were trying to trade away South Texas to appease the Iranians? For crying out loud: they have as much skin in the game as Janet Yellen has interest rates.”
T: “This administration has been besieged, attacked, belittled, and underbussed for its handling of the Southern border. So we float a twofer: eliminate the Rio Grande as a border issue, and try to find a way to hold back a nuclear Iran, and what do we get? Besieged, attacked, belittled, and underbussed. It’s almost as though Hillary! were correct in positing a Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, or something.”
S: “Wait, my head ‘sploded. That was a serious thought bubble, giving away half of Texas?”
T: “Oh, come on. They weren’t going to vote Democrat anyway. What difference do those nuckle-dragging revaunchist Texans make, anyway? That Governor Rick Perrier can’t even run a Presidential campaign.”
S: “Speaking of running things, what about the coalition of Middle-Eastern analysts all up in arms regarding the ISIS intelligence reporting?”
T: “ISIL have no idea what they were on about. DNI Clapper delivered the report. Obama read it. Our agent literally hammered the opposition, once she had her sexual identity sorted.”
S: “. . .”
T: “Look, the Constitution says nothing substantial about foreign policy. Americans get what they elect. Or, in Obama’s case, re-elect. Any of the clueless gits who want to complain regarding what they got either voted for him, or didn’t work dilligently enough against him. So if you want to complain that it’s all a pile of manure, I say: bring it!”

When Parody Unites With The Subject

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Leftist propaganda webesite [email protected] was humiliated today when a bug in their anti-Second Amendment screed generator script triggered an accidental posting following the Antares rocket explosion at Wallops Island, Virginia.

Sissypuss the Blog Kitty, quick to spot a red herring, managed a screencap before the mistake was taken offline:

Working his extensive source list, he caught up with script whiz kid Ezra “EZ” Kleindrubble in EZ’s mother’s suburban Denver basement.
Sissypuss: That burning smell. Is that what I think it is?
EZ: Wha? Oh, that’s the, um, neighbors. They’ve been partying more or less continuously since that far-out new law was passed.

S: Right. Now, what do you know about the anti-Second Amendment effort in this country?
EZ: Oh, that rich dork from New York, Michael Blooper. He’s throwing all kinds of money around. So, like, this chick at CU Denver in my Comp Sci course is all like: “Dude, you really know Python. How’d you like to score a little cash and help the cause?”
And I’m all: “No way.”
And she’s all: “Way.”
And I’m all–

S: So, she gave you some requirements?
EZ: Dude, you’re missing the part where I tried to make a pass at her and she showed me a stack of forms and I was all: “No way.”

S: And she was all: “Way”?
EZ: Dude, were you spying on me?

S: Let’s just say you that read like a lousy blog post.
EZ: Yeah. Anyway, so I’m like hacking on any major tragic event, lifting out keywords, matching them against a database of crappy phrases they gave me, and presto: your last six months of MSNBC. How’d you like my Ferguson, Missouri work?

S: [puking sounds] Sorry about the hairball there in the middle of your roaches, man.
EZ: No worries. They give us all the dope we can smoke, as long as we keep the propaganda coming.

S: So, that’s an encouragement. What made your code blow up like the Antares rocket at Wallops, then?
EZ: Oh, probably some regular expression cock-up. “Strings will hang you,” as they say.

S: Do they? What about S@lon’s vaunted “layers of fact checkers and editors”?
EZ: That bunch of Haighters? They haven’t even shown up to work since last spring, for all they answer the phone. I just have my scripts generate content, and up it goes.

S: That explains much. What about the vaunted Joan Walsh?
EZ: She never recovered from that time John Travolta hit her in the sternum with the horse needle.

S: Dude, that’s a scene from Pulp Fiction.
EZ: Where do you thing Tarantino gets his crazier ideas?

S: I’d have said Valerie Jarrett.
EZ: It’s certainly not rocket science.

S: No, and neither is code. Look: you’re a techie. Why do smart, capable people support moronic ideas like smoking dope and eliminating the Second Amendment in the first place?
EZ: Dude, man: capitalism is like work, or something.

Hillary 2016 Campaign: Should Cliven Bundy Take GOP POTUS Nomination?

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by Sissypuss the Blog Kitty

Upon infiltrating Global Clinton HQ, I overheard some interesting fallout from the recent Cliven Bundy revelations, which revealed some very Robert Byrd-esque sentiments:

“Where is our colored brother? Where is our Mexican brother? Where is our Chinese — where are they?” Bundy said. “They’re just as much American as we are, and they’re not with us. If they’re not with us, they’re going to be against us.”

Never one to let a good crisis go to waste, it seems that David Plouffe, recently in a funk over the rebuff given Jeb Bush over Jeb’s candidacy air biscuit, is now ecstatic.

This is because in Cliven Bundy, there exists a candidate whose primal American stick-it-to-the-manhood is completely irresistible to the anti-establishment conservative base. At the same time, his views are so smolderingly unpalatable to anyone born after the Apollo moonshot as to burn through the wet blanket that as ObamaCare, and excite the Democrat base.

In picking a GOP candidate to give a concession speech in 2008, Democrats just ran McCain’s war record around the country in a bus, against the will of the Tea Party. In 2012, they let RomneyCare run himself around the country, letting it be known that the most Mitt would do is re-brand ObamaCare. How could anyone turn down the spectacle of Cliven Bundy? The only thing that could make it more beautiful is if the man proved a direct descendant of Jefferson Davis. He’s like Donald Trump without all the pesky money and occasional outbursts of showmanship. Todd Akin without any political experience or abortions, but with plenty of bull, on the hoof and off.

Stand by, Conservatives: Hillary is going to deliver a doozy.

Mystery Solved–BHO Went To The Rodeo To See The Bull And Fetch Fresh Policy

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by Sissypuss the Blog Kitty

The seemingly bizarre story about the President of the United States going

to the Missouri State Fair — surely crawling with patriots, and people who “built that”, and thus the about last place that #OccupyResoluteDesk might seek to buy votes — has a clear explanation:

Obama was running low, and needed to visit the bull for some fresh policy ideas to fling at Congress next month.

[Left] Our good President stands poised, ready to return to the fount of his wisdom for a hot batch.

Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-Mo.) and Rep. William Lacy Clay (D-Mo.) were among the politicians who condemned the rodeo clown who wore a mask of President Obama and asked the crowd if they wanted to see the president “run down by a bull.”

“Four legs good, two legs bad“, especially when your task is to slink about the farm or rodeo in search of the story.

It turned out that Obama has “run down by a bull” on a very regular basis these last five years, and bovine males have presented Barack their finest ideas by the shovel-full.

Or had the aroma of ObamaCare escaped you? Don’t worry, you’ll all soon be covered by it.

The incident took place at the Missouri State Fair over the weekend. Clay issued a statement saying the act showed “an ugly face of intolerance.”

While this blog rarely finds part, parcel, or pasture for agreement with the likes of Clay, one must admit that Obama’s commitment to dairy air these last five years has come at the expense of both mountain and sea breezes.

One bemoans the lack of diversity of thought on display, has to allow that the Martha’s Vinyard diversion with the .00001 % while making this heartland pilgrimage was as slick as a fresh cow pie.

Page & Plant Interview In Strolling Drone

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Strolling Drone’s intrepid correspondent, Sissypuss, was finally able to score a brief, joint interview with Jimmy Page and Robert Plant for its June 15, 2013 edition.

Sissypuss: One of the interesting things about the 2012 campaign was the sudden revelation of Barack Obama’s historical activities. That included being a heretofore unknown 5th member of Led Zeppelin, a sort of political Pete Best, if you will.

Nowadays, the media are attached to him like males to an anglerfish.

Page: That’s really how politicians are, isn’t it? Various biographical details are kept mum, unless it proves to be of some political advantage to trot them out. He’s an inside-out character, rather than the usual musical outside-in.

Sissypuss: So, what was it like, working with him?

Plant: Absolutely Jeckyll & Hyde from what you have today. Nowadays, the media are attached to him like males to an anglerfish. Back then, he really wasn’t so much about the limelight, which is why so few people know about his musical phase.

He really thought himself gifted, a sort of Jimi Hendrix meets Louis Armstrong, with a shot of Bob Marley and that twist of Al Green. And yet, he gave up all of the trappings of music for the trap of power. Truly a self-sacrificing individual, is Barack Obama. He could have been living the good life with us, and yet now he sits, desperately trying to make his country a better place, only to get savaged in this obnoxious conservative blogs. Who knew the American people could be so disrespectful of such a visionary?

Sissypuss: He sounded fine on that bit of Al Green those months ago. Are you going to trot Obama out for any further work with you?

Page: We’re in talks to have him on a cover of Poor, Poor Pitiful Me, by the late great Warren Zevon. The Administration wants to alter the lyrics a bit to blame George W. Bush, but the question is: How much blame is too much?

He really thought himself gifted, a sort of Jimi Hendrix meets Louis Armstrong, with a shot of Bob Marley and that twist of Al Green.

Sissypuss: And so it’s true you’ve resurrected some of the only available audiotape of Obama for your new #Occupy tribute release, Outhouses of the Unholy. . .

Plant: Yes, we were working on Led Zeppelin III, and somebody had a directional microphone accidentally pointed at the portaloo after a particularly stirring curry lunch. I don’t want to give away too much, as did your President that day.

Sissypuss: What are the tour plans? Are the rumors of Axelrod’s new band, Confiscated Guns & Subsidized Roses opening up for at least some of the dates going to come true?

Page: Well, we’re still a trifle upset with him about the Physical Grafitti reference on Appetite for Taxation. “Fiscal Graft Party” makes us out to be thieves and chiselers. He claims it was all some kind of a joke, but the only one laughing is Bill Maher. Those hyena-like sounds coming out of Chris Matthews might also be laughter, come to think of it.

We’re in talks to have him on a cover of ‘Poor, Poor Pitiful Me’

Sissypuss: And an Obama cameo? You know that, even after going down hard in the 2012 election, there are those interest groups that somehow still can’t get enough of him.

Plant: Oh, Barack may drop in for a Jazz Odyssey somewhere.

Much love to Political Clown Parade for the great ‘shop work.

Update: linked at The Conservatory

Breaking, With Drumbeats: Rise of the Planet of the Apes Sequel Confirmed!

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by Smitty

Furious Fanboys report:

After becoming a huge box office surprise at the end of the summer, Rise of the Planet of the Apes will definitely get a sequel. Deadline has confirmed the news, and that Andy Serkis will see a seven figure deal to return as Caesar. Director Rupert Wyatt will be back as well.

Sissypuss the Blog Kitty has confirmed, with some trepidation, an unexpected twist. Due to the need to pile all the cash in #OccupyResoluteDesks’s Canadian tour bus when it comes through Southern California for tribute, the sequel will consist of a Rupert Wyatt collaboration with Michael Moore on an #OccupyHollywood documentary.

Moore expressed glee that the #Occupy apes already have the story’s scatalogical angle in hand, albeit messily. The only real plot twist to await in all this is how they will pin the blame for societal collapse on Bush.

via Digg and Insty.

Sissypuss Has An Industrial Strength Tinfoil Hat Competition Entry

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by The Blog Kitty

It all clicked. I get it. The point of the Obama/Trump birther conspiracy. It has nothing whatsoever to do with Hawaii’s most famous son. Jon Meacham, useful idiot par dreck-sellance gives us the clue here:

But that’s another story. Little is known of the story of the native-born clause. As reconstructed by Akhil Reed Amar of Yale, the provision is rooted in the framers’ fears not of immigrants, who were allowed to hold any other federal office, but in anxieties about imported noblemen.

Now, it can be revealed. The Obama birther business is all merely a front. To what end, you ask? To trick states like Arizona into writing legislation that could apparently cause difficulties for a sitting President, and whip his followers up into a froth. Then, like Meacham, they scream about the need to amend the Constitution to remove this archaic restriction. It all seems so nice. So reasonable. So only-the-most-raaaaacist-twit-in-the-country-could-argue-against-it.
And so it is done. And then what happens? Does the Ruling Class install Prince Charles over the old colonies, to tidy their atrocious accent? No, something more. . .spooky. . .

Soros

Past all this nonsense, here is the rub: we have 330+ million citizens. The argument that the Constitution should be amended should be built upon the argument that the opportunity costs of such an awesome candidate existing elsewhere in the world outweigh the political costs of Amendment, even in the face of all of the other issues currently besetting the country.
No, I don’t think such an übermensch exists, and I hope that this post has blown the idea out of the water on both silly and practical grounds.

Update: Memeorandum thread.
And it looks like Da Tech Guy is playing this one straight:

Trump’s shots have become body blows that are lowing the president’s defenses and Public Television that has always been there to help defend the democrats who fund them are going to try to soften the blows.

Trump is not my choice for the nomination, he’s not even in my top 5, but he has done serious damage politically to President Obama and as long as he is in play he will continue to do so. As Rush Limbaugh has said, the media will tell you who they fear, right now they fear Trump.