When Parody Unites With The Subject

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Leftist propaganda webesite [email protected] was humiliated today when a bug in their anti-Second Amendment screed generator script triggered an accidental posting following the Antares rocket explosion at Wallops Island, Virginia.

Sissypuss the Blog Kitty, quick to spot a red herring, managed a screencap before the mistake was taken offline:

Working his extensive source list, he caught up with script whiz kid Ezra “EZ” Kleindrubble in EZ’s mother’s suburban Denver basement.
Sissypuss: That burning smell. Is that what I think it is?
EZ: Wha? Oh, that’s the, um, neighbors. They’ve been partying more or less continuously since that far-out new law was passed.

S: Right. Now, what do you know about the anti-Second Amendment effort in this country?
EZ: Oh, that rich dork from New York, Michael Blooper. He’s throwing all kinds of money around. So, like, this chick at CU Denver in my Comp Sci course is all like: “Dude, you really know Python. How’d you like to score a little cash and help the cause?”
And I’m all: “No way.”
And she’s all: “Way.”
And I’m all–

S: So, she gave you some requirements?
EZ: Dude, you’re missing the part where I tried to make a pass at her and she showed me a stack of forms and I was all: “No way.”

S: And she was all: “Way”?
EZ: Dude, were you spying on me?

S: Let’s just say you that read like a lousy blog post.
EZ: Yeah. Anyway, so I’m like hacking on any major tragic event, lifting out keywords, matching them against a database of crappy phrases they gave me, and presto: your last six months of MSNBC. How’d you like my Ferguson, Missouri work?

S: [puking sounds] Sorry about the hairball there in the middle of your roaches, man.
EZ: No worries. They give us all the dope we can smoke, as long as we keep the propaganda coming.

S: So, that’s an encouragement. What made your code blow up like the Antares rocket at Wallops, then?
EZ: Oh, probably some regular expression cock-up. “Strings will hang you,” as they say.

S: Do they? What about S@lon’s vaunted “layers of fact checkers and editors”?
EZ: That bunch of Haighters? They haven’t even shown up to work since last spring, for all they answer the phone. I just have my scripts generate content, and up it goes.

S: That explains much. What about the vaunted Joan Walsh?
EZ: She never recovered from that time John Travolta hit her in the sternum with the horse needle.

S: Dude, that’s a scene from Pulp Fiction.
EZ: Where do you thing Tarantino gets his crazier ideas?

S: I’d have said Valerie Jarrett.
EZ: It’s certainly not rocket science.

S: No, and neither is code. Look: you’re a techie. Why do smart, capable people support moronic ideas like smoking dope and eliminating the Second Amendment in the first place?
EZ: Dude, man: capitalism is like work, or something.

18 comments

  3. “That bunch of Haighters?”

    Hahahahahaha!

    Somebody should give Sissypuss a can of tuna for that one. And the Tarantino/Jarrett thing was pretty good, too.

  4. I like the pop-up ad that says “create your own newspaper now, it’s free!”

    Gives Mandy the air of legitimacy that she deserves.

    (Even saying that jokingly made me cough up a hairball into my own roaches.). O/T: FL has a medical mary jane initiative on the ballot this time.

  5. Hey Z: I NEVER expected to see this kind of parody here. Now I’m GONNA have to go through the archives, and GIVE them a second look. YOU never know what you’re gonna find on this site. Two thumbs UP!

  14. That post is the most horrible thing that’s ever happened to me. I read it while nursing my evil male baby who was forced on me by the patriarchy and almost threw up on his poor, evil head. Is that really not a parody? How can that be?

  16. I haven’t read that specific post, but I’m familiar with her work. She simply takes feminist ideology to its logical conclusions, such as that PIV is rape, and expresses those conclusions unselfconsciously. She’s a true believer.

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