The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Desperate New Smear Against Christine O’Donnell: ‘She Turned Me Into a Newt’

Posted on | September 18, 2010 | 114 Comments

We knew they were desperate, but no one suspected the Left would turn this into a literal witch-hunt:

“I dabbled into witchcraft. I hung around people who were doing these things. I’m not making this stuff up. . . . One of my first dates with a witch was on a satanic altar, and I didn’t know it. . . . We went to a movie and then had a midnight picnic on a satanic altar.”

Typical witch pickup line: “Want to go see a movie down at the multiplex and then . . . oh, I don’t know . . . hang out with Beelzebub?”

Speaking of women the Left hates, did you hear what Sarah Palin said in Iowa? “I want to get to Delaware very soon and start knocking on doors.” I put in a call to one of my contacts in the Palin camp, who said they haven’t scheduled that yet. They’re still working on plans for Sarah’s fall campaign tour.

One hears a lot of pundits yammering about how Palin is unpopular in Blue states, but I think that’s one of those Conventional Wisdom things that would crumble at first contact with reality.

If I were in the business of advising political candidates — as opposed to being strictly a neutral and objective journalistic observer — I’d tell Palin to make Delaware the first stop on her fall itinerary and use her speech at the big rally to push back at the attacks on O’Donnell. 

Palin could make a joke about the punditry’s favorite anti-O’Donnell meme: “The Democrats have a new slogan: ‘If you like masturbation and higher taxes, vote for Chris Coons!’ But Christine O’Donnell is against higher taxes and, I don’t know if she’s seen the latest scientific studies, but there’s a strong correlation between excessive masturbation and being a total loser — as Chris Coons will prove on Nov. 2.”

Speaking of total losers, did you hear about Bill Maher’s latest joke? (I mean, other than his dating life.) Maher said this Friday:

Isn’t Obama’s big problem is that he does everything half-assed? Maybe it’s because he’s only half black. You know? It’s that, if he was a, if this, if he was fully black, I’m telling you, he would be a better president. There’s a white man in him holding him back because everything is half-assed. The stimulus was half-assed, healthcare is half-assed, let’s talk about Afghanistan.

Of course, I’m strictly a neutral and objective journalistic observer, but if I were offering advice to Bill Maher, I’d warn him that making flippant comments about such sensitive topics could be unfortunately controversial. IYKWIMAITYD.

Also, I’d advise Maher to stop masturbating so much.

And for anyone who didn’t get the joke in the headline: