The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Now That Obama Has Saved Egypt From Disaster, It’s Time to Blog About Charlie Sheen and Other Screwed-Up Celebrities UPDATE: Justin Bieber Video Added!

Posted on | February 1, 2011 | 16 Comments

Today, I put up five posts — totalling more than 2,500 words, with four videos, two photos and 52 links — about the crisis in Egypt. I actually forced myself to watch both MSNBC and Al-Jazeera in order to bring you guys complete coverage:

  1. Egypt: Crisis Averted? Obama’s Speech: Transition ‘Must Begin Now’
  2. Army Chief Lt. Gen. Sami Enan Likely Mubarak Successor, Says French Report
  3. ‘The Euphoria Is Fading’
  4.  Massive New Protests in Egypt
  5.  Egyptian Mob Explains That ‘Freedom’ Means ‘We Got to Destroy Israel’

Frankly, I’m all Egypted-out. If President Obama’s foreign-policy genius doesn’t end this mess pretty soon, I’m going start shaking the tip-jar so I can fly off to Hollywood to join Charlie Sheen in rehab. (Or maybe some hookers and cocaine, if Charlie’s in the mood for a relapse by the time I get there.) And speaking of Charlie Sheen, 22-year-old porn star Kacey Jordan describes sex with the CBS star:

“It was OK. . . . It didn’t last very long .. . . It was a three-minute ordeal.”

Some of you ladies may not be impressed, but wait — there’s more!

“After sex we just sat in bed and he held on to me. . . . He promised me he’d get me a Bentley.”

Admit it, ladies: Any sex with that ends with “I’ll buy you a Bentley” is good sex. But there are limits, even for the biggest star on TV, and folks are worried that  Charlie’s going to spend all his money that way:

Charlie Sheen’s family is growing increasingly concerned about his well being, and is quietly discussing going to court to gain conservatorship over him, RadarOnline.com has exclusively learned.
A source tells us: “Charlie looks awful… he is very, very depressed and feels like the world is going against him. Charlie’s parents are discussing getting a conservatorship of their son. Martin and Janet know that it’s highly unlikely their petition would be granted, but they are trying to do whatever possible to save Charlie’s life.”

Also, to keep him from buying Bentleys for every porn star in Hollywood. Thanks to Obama’s brilliant diplomacy, we’re now able to worry about Charlie’s problems again, and also Lindsay Lohan partying until 3 a.m. We can worry about J-Lo being jealous of Steven Tyler on American Idol. And we could worry about Jamie Pressly getting busted for DUI, if only we could remember why Jaime Pressly is supposed to be a “celebrity.”

See? Now that Obama has brought peace and stability to the Middle East, it’s safe to forget about Egypt and Hosni Mubarak and the Muslim Brotherhood and worry about stuff that’s really important. And what could possibly be more important than Kim Kardashian showing her naked booty?

That’s big news. A huge development.

Also, it’s “art,” according to editors at the fashion magazine W. And everybody likes ”art,” right?

So you should thank Barack Obama for bringing an end to the Egyptian crisis, and sparing us the trouble of worrying about — and blogging about — silly stuff that distracts us from the really important things in life.

Like you hitting my tip-jar, for example. That’s very important. Because my wife’s wondering why I haven’t ever offered to buy her a Bentley.

UPDATE: Since we’re getting silly, here’s Justin Bieber on the Dave Letterman show:

That’s way more important than the Muslim Brotherhood taking over Egypt, right?

UPDATE II: “Obama: Charlie Sheen must undertake orderly, peaceful transition to rehab now.”


Bookmark and Share
Category: Barack Obama, Celebrities, Egypt

Comments

  • http://twitter.com/dustbury Charles G Hill

    Well, the Kimster is *relevant* here. Caption the shot as “a rear-guard action from an Armenian-American” and you have all bases, um, covered.

  • Pingback: Egypt: Crisis Averted? Obama’s Speech: Transition ‘Must Begin Now’ (VIDEO) : The Other McCain

  • MrPaulRevere

    “I actually forced myself to watch both MSNBC and Al-Jazeera in order to bring you guys complete coverage:” Well…someone had to do it. I thought your reporting and analysis were first rate, a little meatier than Ed Morrissey and less verbose than Allahpundit. Now that is threading a needle.

  • Joe

    I know you are being sarcastic about Obama saying Egypt, but the MSM will start saying Obama saved Egypt…

    Until it starts to get screwed up. Then it will be Bush/Palin’s fault.

  • Anonymous

    Does this mean I don’t have to do the top news and celebutard sections for Live At Five now? ;)

  • http://pointofagun.blogspot.com/ Dave C

    You can almost eat a sandwich off of that shelf of an butt Kim has..

  • Joe

    I have a great idea! A new Egyptian and American joint venture reality show called Two and A Half Donkeyphile Men. Charlie Sheen, Hosni Mubarak, and midget who is also a member of the Muslim Brotherhood live in a Cairo apartment and get into adventures!

  • Joe

    It would be better than Jersey Shore.

  • Anonymous

    I thought your reporting and analysis were first rate

    On a big, fast-moving story, it’s all about the aggregation: Who can find the links with the latest news and get them online fastest? The quality of writing or analysis is really secondary to the speed factor. As Instapundit said when asked about the key to his success: “I type fast.”

    The weird thing about Tuesday is that the best item of the day — Eric Dondero’s translated-from-French item about Gen. Sami Enan — sat in my e-mail inbox unnoticed for two hours because I was so busy blogging I didn’t check my e-mail. Eric had sent that item (open CC’d) to a fairly long list of bloggers, so why they didn’t link it before I did, I don’t know. As soon as I saw it, I said, “Hey, that’s news!”

    So far, however, it appears that no major news organization has followed up on the Quotidien/Reuters reporting, and we’re still being led to believe that El-Baradei is the man. To me, that indicates that the press is being blinded by their focus on the street protesters and not thinking of the behind-the-scenes power calculus: Suileman, the septuagenarian intelligence chief, seems an unlikely candidate to lead Egypt in the future, and El-Baradei doesn’t have any built-in power base. The chief of the Egyptian armed forces, however . . .

    And then to see Gen Enan praised as “incorruptible” by the exiled Egyptian cleric — yeah, that fits in with reports about the army’s enormous prestige in Egypt, and if corruption is the major complaint against the Mubarak regime, Gen. Enan would seem a logical alternative.

    It will be interesting to see whether Enan actually emerges as a key figure in Egypt’s future.

  • Anonymous

    The key thing conservatives need to be thinking about here is the expectations game. We naturally expect Obama to fuck up Egypt the way that Carter fucked up Iran. OK, so what if that doesn’t happen? By predicting a Carteresque fuck-up that doesn’t happen, we look like idiots and Obama looks like a genius for having avoided the fuck-up — exceeding the low expectations.

    Better, really, to approach the story from the angle of, “We don’t know jack about Egypt, but we know a thing or two about what’s happened in previous similar situations, and let’s try to figure out what’s going on over there.” Stop making predictions, and stop focusing on Obama, who isn’t really calling the shots in Cairo.

    The MSM want this story to be about Obama. They want to write that big story for the front page of Sunday’s Washington Post: “How Obama Averted Armageddon” — the behind-the-scenes story of White House intrigue and Foggy Bottom diplomacy as told by anonymous “senior administration officials.”

    OK, fine, let them chase that story. Let’s try to figure out what’s actually going on in Cairo, and look at the forces that will influence the post-Mubarak era. And — especially — avoid the wishful-thinking trap wherein conservatives project their expectations of an Obama fuck-up onto the situation without regard to the facts, warning of a worst-case scenario that isn’t likely to transpire because worst-case scenarios so seldom do.

    If a year from now, Cairo is a Mogadishu-style anarchy or a Tehran-style theocracy, people who predicted such far-fetched scenarios will look prophetic. But in reality, is that the most likely outcome? No. So why get hysterical about such dangers, and thereby permit Obama to claim credit for helping avoid a worst-case scenario that never was really probable?

  • Anonymous

    It would be better than Jersey Shore.

    Snooki in a burka? I’d pay to see that!

  • Pingback: Latest Snowmaggedon Nothing to Cyclone Yasi | POWIP

  • Pingback: Crisis in Cairo Continues: Egyptians Ignore Obama, Resort to Violence : The Other McCain

  • http://twitter.com/jslconsulting John LaRosa

    I can’t believe she has a book out already. Snooki is to literature as Barney Frank is to elocution. I’m short, Italian and have seen my share of “”unsustainable bar tabs. Where’s my book deal? Oh, wait…almost forgot…no boobs.

    And speaking of injustice, when will we be able to buy “Celebrity Leg Humping for Dummies” or “I Get More Hits with Tits” by Stacy McCain? Must we all visit Dr. Drew to become marketable?

  • Pingback: In Desperate Bid to End Cairo Violence, Levi Johnston’s Sister Agrees to Pose Nude : The Other McCain

  • Quartermaster

    I think I’m gonna Google “Kacey Jordan Video.” Given the state of conversation on this post, it is entirely apropos. And anything is better than having that pic of Sheen in my mind.

Performance Optimization WordPress Plugins by W3 EDGE