The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Rock and Roll, and Other Subjects About Which Dan Collins Knows Nothing

Posted on | April 27, 2012 | 64 Comments

Granted, this could be a very long post, but I just happened to notice Dan blathering on about some artsy New Wave poseurs and felt a need to point out the Neutral Objective Fact that no genuinely great rock and roll music was recorded after Sept. 25, 1980, the day John Bonham died.

How awesome was Led Zeppelin? For the most part, the lyrics were incomprehensible gibberish. More often than not, Robert Plant sang flat.

And nobody f–kin’ cared, because it was so f–kin’ awesome.

Also, we were all stoned out of our minds, because it was the ’70s.

What callow punks like Dan Collins probably don’t understand is that Zep played some great dance music. Believe it or not, kids, back in the day, long-haired freaks used to dance to rock and roll. And it was beautiful, too, because you had these hippie-type chicks in floral midriff tops and hiphugger bellbottom jeans groovin’ to the crazy syncopated rhythms that Bonzo laid down.

Picture in your mind the multicolored blacklight day-glo posters on the wall, and a sweaty smoke-filled roomful of hippie-type girls — with long, long hair — shakin’ it to “Misty Mountain Hop”:

No, wait — better yet — “The Ocean”:

“Trampled Underfoot”:

“D’Yer Mak’er”:

“Black Dog”:

If you lack the imagination to realize how f–kin’ awesome that was, there’s no point in my trying to explain it to you. Kathy Shaidle recently asserted that The Who were better than Zep. But she’s Canadian, which is kind of a synonym for “retarded” anyway.

Back in the day, you could call people “retarded” without being accused of insensitivity. You never saw headlines like this:

Anheuser-Busch Warns UFC About
Fighters’ Sexist, Homophobic Comments

Bite me, you faggot bitches.

See? You could say stuff like that back in the 1970s and nobody really cared, because everything was cool back then.

Until John Bonham died, and it’s all been going to hell ever since.




  • ThePaganTemple

     I rarely watch anything besides FX or AMC, Scy-FY very rarely. And then I usually just watch the original series. Most of the other stuff is either pure crap, or the same movies replayed over and over again.

  • Bob Belvedere

    Christ…G.G. Allin…memories…

    I saw him in Manchester, New Hampshire in the late 80’s [I was doing sound for the opening band] and, of course, the big questions before his set was [as it was at all of them], ‘Is he going to kill himself tonight like he promised?’

    Dumb bastard broke his promise and died of a heroin OD in ’93.

  • Bob Belvedere

    Sorry: Jimmy Page is God.

  • Bob Belvedere

    What’s wrong with the lyrics?

  • Bob Belvedere

    Good man.

  • Bruce

    Yeah they drove out to the stage in the middle of the arena in 4 separate white mercedes. When Page played guitar with a violin bow during Dazed And Confused (best rock song ever!), the sound was echoing off buildings miles away. 

  • Wombat_socho

     When I came back to Washington DC from the Army in ’83, there was one rock station left in town, WWDC-FM. And I swear to God, every third song they played was Led Zep. If I’d had any fondness for the band before, this would have killed it stone dead. As it was, I acquired a taste for classical music.

  • Wombat_socho

     I think the phrase you’re looking for is “t3h ghey”.

  • Wombat_socho

     Was that a great movie or what?

  • Wombat_socho

     Jimmy Page couldn’t carry Pete Townshend’s jock.

  • ThePaganTemple

     You ought to put that on YouTube.

  • steve

    There has been plenty of great rock and roll recorded since September 25th 1980: 

  • Taxpayer1234

    She’s 13; if I did that, she’d throttle me.

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