The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Iranian Space Monkey Jokes

Posted on | January 28, 2013 | 13 Comments

Of course, the news that Iran has launched a monkey into space is no laughing matter. It’s like the North Korean “space program,” a purportedly peaceful (nudge, nudge) way of flight-testing an ICBM. So once they get a nuclear weapon, the fanatical Jew-hating mullahs now have the means of delivering that warhead to Tel Aviv — or perhaps on some suitable infidel target right here in the Great Satan.

Look on the bright side: If Ahmadinejad were to nuke Manhattan, we’d no longer have to put up with the New York Times. And if there were a slight malfunction with the guidance system in the Iranian ICBM, it might go off-course and annihilate the cast of Jersey Shore.



  • jakee308

    Ahmadinejad was their first astronaut?

  • Mike G.

    I thought they opened for “Porno For Pyros” back in the day.

  • Mike G.

    Or was it Cock Rock For Cannibals?

  • Mike G.

    We’re all wrong…the Iranian Space Monkeys opened for the famous band…Accidental Goat Sodomy.

  • jsn2

    The Iranian Spank Monkey Program is more like it.

  • M. Thompson

    Hey, no bringing up “Nice job fixing it” to those villains.

  • Dandapani

    I prefer his stage name, Admiremydinnerjacket.

  • BruceC

    So Aquadinnerjacket was “Launching the Space Monkey,” huh? Pretty soon he’ll need glasses.

  • Opinador Fthagn !

    Every Friday iranian mullahs go frothing at the mouth about the “sons of monkeys”… does it mean they’d just sent a jew into space ?

  • Thomas L. Knapp

    “So once they get a nuclear weapon, the fanatical Jew-hating mullahs …”

    Of course that will never happen, as the fanatical Jew-hating mullahs believe that possession and use of nuclear weapons is haraam and have forbidden Iran’s government to pursue getting them.

  • gloogle gloogle

    Damn, sorry I didn’t see this post sooner.

    When I was in college, there was a punk band called “Fearless Iranians from Hell”. I never thought that name would be topped, but “The Iranian Space Monkeys” is pretty good…

  • RichFader

    I hear Iranian Space Monkey is playing Coachella. And then Lollapalooza. Why not? If they toured with Porno for Pyros, they’re probably old friends with Perry Farrell.

  • Colonel Haiku

    can’t make this stuff up

    first chimp mullah to the M00n

    teh Thirteenth Mahdi?