Posted on | February 11, 2013 | 35 Comments
Katy Perry displayed her ginormous silicone implants.
“Write what you know” is always good advice, and two things I definitely know are awards shows and cleavage.
Back in the day, it was regularly my duty as an assistant national editor working the late-night desk at The Washington Times to compile (in a format known as “combined dispatches”) our coverage of the Tony, Emmy, Grammy and Oscar awards. We went through three editions and the story would have to be updated for each edition until the “three-star” final. It was an enormous headache, with the copy desk awaiting the story as each deadline approached, and me trying to keep up with this celebrity trivia while monitoring the wire services for other late-breaking news developments, also usually covering for the foreign desk on the third edition. God forbid there should be an earthquake or a coup in some foreign country during an awards-show Sunday.
Having escaped that senseless drudgery when I resigned from The Washington Times five years ago — it was as if God said, “Go” — I can’t remember watching an awards show since then. What kind of shallow and adolescent personality would pay attention to these phony made-for-TV spectacles, unless they were being paid to do so as a condition of their employment? So I woke up this morning to the news that the Pope had resigned and, after aggregating that, I then saw the Viral Read liveblog of the Grammy Awards which alerted me to the big news that Katy Perry’s breasts stole the show. And then I went to WeSmirch where, sure enough, I saw the headline:
She’s actually a very talented singer, and thus the question arises, “Why does Katy Perry feel the need to get breast implants and display the obviously artificial results in this ostentatious manner?”
Don’t even try to tell me those are real, Katy. Trust me, girl, I was an expert on breasts before you were even born, and those are fakies.
Exit Question: Why is it considered offensively “sexist” for guys to pay attention to cleavage, yet it’s entirely acceptable — cute! clever! funny! — when lesbian Ellen DeGeneres does it?