When #CrackerQuotes Get Tuneful

Posted on | June 30, 2013 | 23 Comments

by Smitty

After Rachel Jeantel’s “creepy ass cracker” went legendary, Twitter swung into action. For reasons that refuse to make sense, like some of the Zimmerman trial testimony, this blogger felt the need to work ‘cracker’ into rock lyrics:
Some Tangled up in Blue:

#CrackerQuotes Was in the pack when we first met Soon therefrom divorced Spread a little jam on it oh yes But I used a little too much force

— Smitty, JokeCracka (@smitty_one_each) June 30, 2013

#CrackerQuotes Shot through the cracker And you're to blame Darlin' you give snacks A bad name. #AlmostBonJovi

— Smitty, JokeCracka (@smitty_one_each) June 30, 2013

#CrackerQuotes We're running with the crackers of the night, So baby take the cheeze whiz It'll be all right #AlmostPatBenatar

— Smitty, JokeCracka (@smitty_one_each) June 30, 2013

My sponsor:

#CrackerQuotes If you like a cracker I'll tell you I'm your man You make some you break some It's all the same to me #AlmostMotorhead

— Smitty, JokeCracka (@smitty_one_each) June 30, 2013

You’re in the mood for a king:

#CrackerQuotes Friday night and the snacks are low Looking out for a place to go Where they have the right crackers Spreads & tasty things

— Smitty, JokeCracka (@smitty_one_each) June 30, 2013

#CrackerQuotes Jeremiah was a cracker Was a good friend of mine Until I needed just a bit of midnight grub And snuffed him with some wine.

— Smitty, JokeCracka (@smitty_one_each) June 30, 2013

#CrackerQuotes Oh, no! They say he's got to go Go, go Godz-cracker! #AlmostBlueOysterCult

— Smitty, JokeCracka (@smitty_one_each) June 30, 2013

#CrackerQuotes Once upon a time there was food in my life Now, only junk on the meal tracker Nothing I can say Total eclipse of the cracker

— Smitty, JokeCracka (@smitty_one_each) June 30, 2013

#CrackerQuotes Modern day warrior mean, mean stacker Today's Tom Sawyer mean, mean cracker No his vote is not for rent. . . #AlmostRush

— Smitty, JokeCracka (@smitty_one_each) June 30, 2013

A favorite:

#CrackerQuotes And so it was that later As they struggled to be free That her face, at first just ghostly, Turned a cracker shade of brie

— Smitty, JokeCracka (@smitty_one_each) June 30, 2013

#CrackerQuotes And if the band you're in Starts defending from an attacker I'll see you on The dark side of the cracker #AlmostPinkFloyd

— Smitty, JokeCracka (@smitty_one_each) June 30, 2013

@Fireflysghost #CrackerQuotes I saw a werewolf drinking a pina colada At Trader Vic's His cracker was perfect. @ColdHartPatriot @killpundit

— Smitty, JokeCracka (@smitty_one_each) June 30, 2013

Category: humor

Comments

23 Responses to “When #CrackerQuotes Get Tuneful”

MrEvilMatt
June 30th, 2013 @ 5:19 pm

When #CrackerQuotes Get Tuneful: by Smitty After Rachel Jeantel’s “creepy ass cracker” went legendary, Twitter… http://t.co/oWoHQKLJYL
jwbrown1969
June 30th, 2013 @ 5:19 pm

When #CrackerQuotes Get Tuneful: by Smitty After Rachel Jeantel’s “creepy ass cracker” went legendary, Twitter… http://t.co/0C9bk9mLQF
Lockestep1776
June 30th, 2013 @ 5:19 pm

When #CrackerQuotes Get Tuneful: by Smitty After Rachel Jeantel’s “creepy ass cracker” went legendary, Twitter… http://t.co/vgEQ9fUmMn
Citzcom
June 30th, 2013 @ 5:19 pm

When #CrackerQuotes Get Tuneful: by Smitty After Rachel Jeantel’s “creepy ass cracker” went legendary, Twitter… http://t.co/xYfqFMXskh
smitty_one_each
June 30th, 2013 @ 5:24 pm

.@Fireflysghost You’re not waxing biographical here, are you? Oh, and check => http://t.co/hAtFH8LkVA @killpundit @ColdHartPatriot
preciseBlogs
June 30th, 2013 @ 5:29 pm

When #CrackerQuotes Get Tuneful http://t.co/KKWmPC0KV8 #news #conservative #humor
Fireflysghost
June 30th, 2013 @ 5:32 pm

@smitty_one_each @killpundit @coldhartpatriot Well I have been
far to pagan&hairless
to have the same doubts
as close quartered
lonely men!¥
Bob Belvedere
June 30th, 2013 @ 6:28 pm

Only the last one redeemed you there, Admiral.
smitty_one_each
June 30th, 2013 @ 6:58 pm

“Only the last one redeemed you there, Admiral.” — Bob Belvedere http://t.co/Cdhv0ldw7K
Evi L. Bloggerlady
June 30th, 2013 @ 7:04 pm

“Creepy Ass Cracker” would be a hellava tweeter handle.
thatMrGguy
June 30th, 2013 @ 7:57 pm

When #CrackerQuotes Get Tuneful http://t.co/QEb7pOsb6Q
LadyLiberty1885
June 30th, 2013 @ 7:58 pm

My new fav follow is Honkey LIberation Front
Chris Wysocki
June 30th, 2013 @ 8:20 pm

I’m a cracker.
He’s a cracker.
Wouldn’t you like to be a cracker too?
Be a cracker, a creepy-ass cracker!
#tastesjustlikeregulardrcracker
A Lot Of Humor In 140 Characters | That Mr. G Guy's Blog
June 30th, 2013 @ 8:20 pm

[…] good friend Smitty is a whiz on teh twitters. After the infamous “creepy ass cracker” comment by witness […]
Frank Underwood D-SC
June 30th, 2013 @ 8:25 pm

You might say that, but I couldn’t possibly comment.
Mike G.
June 30th, 2013 @ 8:25 pm

You sir, are the Poet Laureate of teh twitters.
Charles
June 30th, 2013 @ 8:26 pm

Creepy-eye-A
Creepy-eye-O
Ghost crackers in the sky
Frank Underwood D-SC
June 30th, 2013 @ 8:26 pm

Normally I couldn’t possibly comment…but I liked the last one too.
smitty_one_each
June 30th, 2013 @ 8:34 pm

“Creepy-eye-A
Creepy-eye-O
Ghost crackers in the sky” — Charles http://t.co/F1AW4PLaGQ
jimmiebjr
June 30th, 2013 @ 8:53 pm

When #CrackerQuotes Get Tuneful : The Other McCain http://t.co/yqKjQhEA6C
Adjoran
July 1st, 2013 @ 12:41 am

Marvelous!

But the last loses some cachet after Kurt Schlicter used it already last week – “I saw Snowden sipping a pina colada at Trader Vic’s, his hair was perfect.”
smitty
July 1st, 2013 @ 6:48 am

Indeed, it was likely the Colonel that put Zevon in mind.
Quartermaster
July 1st, 2013 @ 12:47 pm

Smitty, you obviously have far too much time on your hands.