Posted on | June 10, 2014 | 65 Comments
The pathetic phrase quoted in the headline was spoken by Daniel Kopin in an interview with Cathy Young. Kopin, 21, is a Brown University student who was suspended after a school disciplinary proceeding in which he was found responsible for “sexual misconduct” with his ex-girlfriend and fellow Brown student Lena Sclove.
It’s an interesting story: Kopin and Sclove are both progressives, and had been friends for a while before they began a three-week sexual relationship that, according to Kopin’s account, ended when he decided they should go back to being just friends. But then there was one night — Aug. 2, 2013 — when “they began flirting at a party, engaged in physical displays of affection, and left the party to go to Kopin’s apartment with the intention of having sex.” What happened during that encounter is a classic “he said/she said” situation.
Here’s the problem: Because he is a nice guy, and because the alleged “sexual misconduct” was treated as a matter of school discipline — rather than investigated as a crime — Kopin did not exercise his Fifth Amendment right to remain silent. Instead, Kopin made the mistake of trying to tell his side of the story after Sclove sent him an accusatory e-mail on Aug. 8: “Dan, you raped me.”
Dude: Lawyer up and say nothing.
It’s unfortunate that nice young men should have to hear such advice, but this is what the current campus climate requires.
Nice young men are not street smart, and Kopin — a “mild-mannered young man with a self-effacing smile and a preppy manner” — was evidently so stunned by Sclove’s accusation that he didn’t think about his Fifth Amendment rights. The misguided effort of the accused date rapist to tell his side of the story is part of the whole cultural problem that has developed on campuses where what should be a matter of criminal law, in which the prosecution has the burden of proof, is instead handled by university officials in extra-judicial proceedings where the accused is required to “prove” his innocence.
Did I mention that Lena Sclove is crazy?
In her Aug. 8 e-mail which accused Kopin of raping her on Aug. 2, Sclove wrote: “I have seen my therapist twice, and she is 100 percent sure that this was rape.” Excuse me for pointing this out, but the phrase “my therapist” would seem to indicate that Sclove was under treatment for some kind of mental illness before the incident in question. If so, Sclove’s psychiatric history is relevant.
Dude: Don’t hook up with crazy women.
This is more advice nice young men need to hear, unfortunately. They’re not street smart, these mild-mannered preppy boys.
The Law of Large Numbers dictates that if you screw around enough, eventually you’ll encounter The Psycho Bitch From Hell.
Oh, she seems attractive enough. You don’t notice she’s crazy on that beer-soaked night when you’ve got no other prospects in sight. Or maybe you do realize she’s crazy, but you just don’t care.
What’s the worst that can happen, right? All you care about is, she’s down for some action, so you never really consider the potential consequences of hooking up with a psychiatric basket case.
Based on my own extensive research, conducted between 1977 and 1988, at least 6% of women are The Psycho Bitch From Hell. She is incapable of distinguishing between casual sex and a “relationship,” so that attempting to break up with her — or even not being interested in a follow-up to a one-night stand — inevitably turns into the kind of insane drama that inspired Fatal Attraction. When I see TV documentaries about women dealing with dangerous stalkers, I feel a profound empathy, because I know the basic problem: You meet someone who is crazy, but either you don’t recognize the warning signs or else you ignore the warning signs and next thing you know, you’re trapped in a situation of complete craziness from which there is no easy way out.
Have you ever gotten a phone call informing you that a girl you dated briefly is now holding a butcher knife to her throat, threatening suicide if you don’t come over to her house immediately?
Yeah. And I was only 17 years old at the time.
Some people can’t cope with rejection, and young people need to beware of this danger. A careful reading of Cathy Young’s account of the situation between Dan Kopin and Lena Sclove reveals numerous clues that Sclove was trouble waiting to happen long before Aug. 2, 2013. If Kopin didn’t recognize those clues, that’s his fault. He should have avoided a sexual relationship with Sclove, who apparently had a pre-existing emotional problem that has not been adequately explained.
What happened on Aug. 2, 2013? I don’t know.
Sclove says one thing, and Kopin says another thing. The key point is, accusations of sexual assault should always be a matter of criminal law in which the burden of proof is on the prosecution, and where the defendant is accorded all his rights under the Constitution, including his Fifth Amendment right to remain silent.
Instead, Brown University has allowed this to turn into a situation where a United States Senator — New York Democrat Kirsten Gillibrand — went on MSNBC and claimed that Scloven was “brutally raped” and “nearly choked to death” by Dan Kopin.
Obviously, I’m willing to believe that progressive pro-feminist men attending elite universities (Brown’s annual tuition is $46,408) are all brutal rapists who get their kinky thrills by choking women, but maybe Dan Kopin is an exception to the rule.
If any guy ever finds himself accused under similar circumstances, here’s some street-smart advice: Deny everything.
Never accidentally incriminate yourself by trying to tell your side of the story. If anyone asks for your response to a false accusation, your answer should be four simple words: “That bitch is crazy.”