Posted on | June 13, 2015 | 22 Comments
In this blog’s relentless quest to immanentize the Next Big Thing, we proudly proffer the Tres Bimbos ticket.
This #OPMhack clearly demonstrates that America needs a president who will set up an insecure email server in her mud room.
— Cuffy (@CuffyMeh) June 12, 2015
That it’s Her Majesty’s turn, and we [nsfw] must not jack this up for her, goes without saying. And we’re supposed to feel vaguely positive about the “courage” inherent in an intensely personal decision that not everyone fully agrees with. Finally, we should offer three cheers to Rachel Dolezal, whose approach to fabulism is only exceeded by that of #OccupyResoluteDesk, as far as I can tell.
Thus, by the Power of Common Core, we humbly announce that three (3) is just a large value of two (2). We adjure you to vote for Clinton/Jenner/Dolezal in 2016, by write-in, if those odious, pedantic conservatives somehow infringe on your right to feel however you want about that age-old tool of patriarchal oppression, integers.
As the Really Hip Individual Currently Choosing to Retain a Male Sexual Identity Ezra Klein noted, the Constitution is, like, really old, or something. What better way to fight that Ancient Screed of Cisgender, Euro-Masculine Domination than to vote in a First Trimulierate in 2016? Progress is predicated upon the idea that anything conservatives esteem is on the target list for rhetorical saturation bombing. Progress takes a village, and rubs the lotion on.
Why not put another nail in the coffin of the idea of the Rule of Law by supporting the Tres Bimbos ticket? How about it?