Posted on | August 18, 2015 | 74 Comments
Victoria Brownworth (@vabvox) is a lesbian feminist who hates “mansplaining from men asserting they are feminist allies”:
One night on social media I objected to the use of the word “c–t” by men as a pejorative against women. I wrote that it was one of the worst things a man could say about a woman, reducing her to nothing more than her genitalia. Dozens of men began tweeting at me, explaining to me that “c–t” was just a word and that I should step back from my “extreme” feminism. To a one they mansplained me about the importance of free speech (as if a female journalist wouldn’t know about free speech better than most). And also to a one, they proceeded to call me a “c–t.”
Yet as I went to block each one there were the profiles again: “progressive,” “left-leaning” and so forth. . . .
Permit me to interrupt: I never use the “c-word.”
It is a genuinely foul and offensive thing to say and, let me remark that I have noticed this misogynist slur used most often by gay men. Remember that (a) I majored in drama in college, and (b) for several months in late 1986, I was the only heterosexual man employed in the menswear section of a department store. In my experience, gay men drop the “c-word” much more frequently than do straight men.
Let me further point out the different significance of the “c-word” as an anti-woman insult (one which makes her anatomy the target), as opposed to “bitch” or “slut.” The latter two words pertain to particular traits or behaviors. To call a woman a “bitch” implies she is mean, crabby or spiteful; some women will apply this word to themselves as a boast, to suggesting they are formbidable adversaries when angry. To call a woman a “slut” is to accuse her of promiscuity.
We may object to either word as offensive, but they have specific connotations, referring negatively to certain behaviors or character traits, whereas “c–t” is just an anti-female slur. Now, let’s get back to Victoria Brownsworth’s critique of progressive male “allies”:
If you self-define as a progressive, why are you calling a feminist a “c–t” on social media, since feminist ally is part of every progressive platform? . . .
What progressive man would willingly accept the mantle of oppressor of women? And yet it remains the non-objective reality of women’s lived experience. Just as those of us who are white and actively doing anti-racist work must accept that we still have privilege that accrues to the mere fact of our whiteness, people with penises have to accept that their genitalia granted them a level of privilege at birth that no one born female has ever had.
Or ever will have. . . .
I’m not suggesting there are no pro-feminist men or that men are incapable of being feminist allies. But I do believe we are all inculcated from birth with the notion that men are superior and women are inferior. . . .
I don’t blame every man I meet for the oppression I experience and have experienced throughout my life. I don’t blame every man for the brutality women and girls face worldwide. But what I do expect and what I think is not over-much to expect, is that men who self-define as feminist allies, as pro-feminist, as our friends, not our enemies, not argue with us in public space about our lives. We know our lives better than you. And most importantly, you do not speak for us, you can never speak for us.
Men who wish to be “feminist allies” must realize that this requires them to accept feminism’s anti-male ideology as correct. Feminists believe that no male has any valid knowledge of anything. Nor can a male have any ability or virtue that could qualify him for a feminist’s admiration or respect. No feminist admires or respects men, because no male can ever have any real achievement or accomplishment that would entitle him to respect or admiration. Everything “people with penises” think they have achieved is, according to feminist theory, actually a result of the unjust oppression of women. In the zero-sum game of feminist theory, whatever a male possesses he has stolen from women, cheating women out of what is rightfully theirs because, in the cruel system of male supremacy, “their genitalia granted them a level of privilege at birth.”
Feminism is not about equality. Feminism is about SHUT UP.
Every woman is infinitely superior to all men — this is the fundamental premise of feminist theory, and if any man thinks he has anything to say that a woman needs to hear, he’s wrong. Feminism means all men are always wrong about everything.
You have a penis? SHUT UP. You are stupid and ignorant, and know nothing about anything, because you are male. Feminists do not want to hear anything a male has to say. Feminists are offended by your maleness, which fills them with an emetic revulsion. Feminists are nauseated by the mere thought of men. Feminists curse the fact that they are forced to share the planet with males. Complete silence is therefore the minimum duty of any man who wishes to be an “ally” of feminists. The second-best way for a man to help a feminist is never to speak a word in her presence, whereas the best way for a man to help a feminist is to do what Adrienne Rich’s husband did.
If a progressive male refuses to follow the example of Alfred Conrad — the only way a male can become a truly good man, according to feminist logic — the least he can do is SHUT UP, which is exactly the message the #ThingsFeministMenHaveSaidToMe hashtag is intended to convey. Everything “feminist men” say is wrong, for the simple and obvious reason that they are men:
#ThingsFeministMenHaveSaidToMe after being called out for sexist/otherwise inappropriate behavior: "You just lost a powerful ally"
— Bailey (@the_author_) August 17, 2015
"Don't let (misogynist thing) affect your life. Pick your battles" #ThingsFeministMenHaveSaidToMe
— Janie Rotten (@DreddByDawn) August 17, 2015
'You'd look nicer if you smiled.' #ThingsFeministMenHaveSaidToMe
— Bran (@kungfulasers) August 17, 2015
"I grew up surrounded by women! I had a feminist upbringing! I know your experience as well as you do!" #ThingsFeministMenHaveSaidToMe
— GoddessMagdalene (@LaDeaMagdalene) August 17, 2015
"Why do you have to take the fun out of everything? It is just a joke." #thingsfeministmenhavesaidtome
— Jenn Prosser (@JProssa) August 17, 2015
#ThingsFeministMenHaveSaidToMe "Aren't you generalizing men if you discuss patriarchy? Don't alienate allies now!"
— Trudy (@thetrudz) August 18, 2015
"Sometimes I feel like women take sexism so personally, they can't see the issues clearly." Um. #ThingsFeministMenHaveSaidToMe
— Samantha Escobar (@myhairisblue) August 18, 2015
This is what I mean when I say feminism is a totalitarian movement to destroy civiliztion as we know it. Feminism’s implacable hostility toward males means feminists can never be satisfied so long as any male exists, because male existence is inherently oppressive to women. Any male who calls himself a “feminist man” insults women by appropriating feminism, and everything a male says to a feminist is offensive.
— Robert Stacy McCain (@rsmccain) August 18, 2015
“Fear and Loathing of the Penis — a paranoid resentment of men, characterized by irrational suspicion — is the underlying mental condition that feminism turns into a political ideology. What disturbs me, after months of studying this phenomenon, is that this madness is both contagious and incurable. Feminism is a sort of cultural virus that, once it takes hold in a woman’s mind, makes it impossible for her to relate to men in a normal manner and, because misery loves company, she feels compelled to share her hateful anti-male attitudes with other women.”
— Robert Stacy McCain, Sex Trouble: Radical Feminism and the War Against Human Nature (page 108)
Trust me, guys, you never want to be a progressive “male ally.” Feminists don’t hate progressive men any less than they hate conservative men, they just hate them in a different way. At least, as a conservative, I don’t have to ask feminists for permission to speak. All feminists hate me, because I am a heterosexual male, and I don’t even bother to pretend I care whether they hate me or not. Feminist hatred is expected. In the 21st century, being hated by feminists is increasingly necessary to being heterosexual, whether you are male or female. Feminism Is Queer, to invoke the title of Professor Mimi Marinucci’s 2010 Women’s Studies textbook. As a pioneering feminist explained 40 years ago, “heterosexuality is the ideology of male supremacy.” Lesbianism and feminism have been historically “coterminous,” as Professor Bonnie Zimmerman said. Feminism is a movement to destroy “heteropatriarchy, the dominance associated with a gender binary system that presumes heterosexuality as a social norm,” to quote the Oregon State University professors who authored the textbook Women’s Voices, Feminist Visions. The category “heterosexual feminist” is problematic for the same reason that “male feminist” is an oxymoron. No feminist can ever love a man, because the oppressor cannot deserve love from his victim. Feminism is based in the understanding that all males participate in and benefit from the oppression of all women, and there is no way that any male can exempt himself from this feminist condemnation.
It is impossible to exaggerate how much feminists hate men, because infinity cannot be exaggerated.
— Robert Stacy McCain (@rsmccain) August 18, 2015
Every man is regarded as an enemy by the feminist death cult, which aims to impose on males a final and complete silence.
Alfred Conrad could not be reached for comment.