Posted on | February 27, 2016 | 48 Comments
Regular readers know Bert the Samoan Lawyer, an old college buddy of mine who is now one of the leading Asian/Pacific-American attorneys in Alabama. Some people say Bert doesn’t look Samoan, but if Shaun King is black, Bert is Samoan, and he could sue you for saying otherwise. It might even be defamation to call a Samoan “white,” no matter how pale he may be, and Bert has keen legal skills that strike fear in the hearts of potential defendants. No one would dare insult Bert by calling him a cracker, and if America ever elects another Republican president, I’m certain Senator Sessions will suggest Bert as a Supreme Court nominee, right after I get that ambassadorship to Vanuatu. But I digress . . .
The #FreeStacy insanity led my old friend to send me an email today:
Totally anecdotal, but I’ve noticed that no matter how many times I visit wattsupwiththat.com, Google Now never puts anything from that site into my “stories to read.” Contrast that to I once clicked on a story about Taylor Swift because my daughter is a huge fan and now she is in my feed constantly. Also, Salon, Slate and Huffpo are always there in abundance even though I never click them.
Also notably absent despite multiple daily visits: theothermccain.
Fear and Loathing in the Information Age, so to speak. The whole world has gone crazy, I’m the subject of international news, and Google is conspiring to keep people from reading my blog. This makes perfect sense in 2016, you see, that someone like me would become a First Amendment cause célèbre, a 21st-century Dreyfuss. Was this my career goal when I was a long-haired rock-and-roll freak circa 1983? Of course not. Nobody could ever possibly plan anything as crazy as my life, even if they wanted to, which no sane person ever would. So while the #FreeStacy hashtag campaign continues, I have had some communications with leading legal minds who have become interested in the free-speech issues involved. I’m not the litigious sort, you understand, but some of my lawyer friends are the type who would be happy to go to federal court to seek an emergency restraining order first thing Monday morning, if I just gave the word. But that’s not how I roll. My correspondence with Bert the Samoan Lawyer was just two old college buddies talking. Here’s what I replied:
Well, my Samoan friend, did you ever think back in the day that my gonzo methods would have such consequences as this? As I told my kids, “Congratulations, your Dad is a hashtag.” Of course, the #FreeStacy hashtag won’t autocomplete — although the bogus misspelled version does. No “e” in Stacy, as you know, and “blah blah girl’s name blah blah,” said every idiot who wanted to start a fight on the elementary school playground. When the going gets weird, the weirdos get me banned from Twitter.
Do I want to describe my experiences with Google? Not in writing. The NSA and DHS will have to monitor my phone calls if they want that information. Nixon was a piker compared to these Obama goons, and I’ll bet you $20 Sidney Blumenthal has Jack Dorsey on speed-dial.
Face it, Bert, we live in an Age of Fear and, as a concerned father myself, I have to warn you that Taylor Swift is down for The Agenda. Every feminist on Tumblr is certain that Taylor is dating lesbian supermodel Karlie Kloss. As a Neutral Objective Journalist, of course, I’d have to see video proof before I’d believe that bizarre rumor, but if Cara Delevingne can be gay, everybody is gay, and in 2016, any self-respecting feminist would be embarrassed to admit she is heterosexual. These young fellows can’t get their mojo working and, therefore, phallocentric domination is in a steep decline. Oh, what wonderful jargon! But I digress . . .
If your daughter is a Taylor Swift fan, you may need to intervene, Bert. A sort of “tough love” approach is recommended. Seize her laptop and cellphone and demand passwords for every app she’s got. And if she’s on Tumblr? Bad news, pal — no grandkids for you. Tumblr might as well be called the Crazy Cat Lady Training Academy. Every teenage girl on Tumblr has a mental illness (anxiety, depression, PTSD) and is either a pansexual genderqueer or a nonbinary lesbian. Dye your hair green, pierce your nose, get more tattoos than a sailor and tell your Mom that your pronouns are “xe” and “xer.” This is what it means to be a feminist in 2016, a dystopian nightmare meets pornographic fantasy. If Orwell were writing “1984” now, it would begin: “Dear Penthouse Forum …”
— Beyoncé. (@bIackbilIgates) December 5, 2014
— OCEANUP (@OCEANUP) December 10, 2014
Taylor Swift Is Decadent and Depraved. Seriously, Bert, keep your kids away from those degenerate showbiz freaks. You never know what kind of insanity kids will stumble into, if you let them wander around unsupervised in the Internet sewer. Just a few weeks ago, I had a long phone conversation with a fellow whose daughter turned 18, announced she was transgender, repudiated her parents as hateful bigots, and moved to another state where she was able to get free testosterone “treatment” from a Planned Parenthood clinic. Could either of us have imagined such a thing in 1983? Hell, I never could have hallucinated anything that crazy when I was tripping out on psilocybin in ’79.
Well, I’m babysitting my 5-month-old grandson, who is crying for a bottle, so I’ll have to wrap this up for now. Remember: Feminism Is a Totalitarian Movement to Destroy Civilization as We Know It. And also elect Hillary Clinton, but I repeat myself.
— John Rivers (@JohnRiversToo) February 22, 2016
— Instapundit.com (@instapundit) February 22, 2016
— Þe Political Hat (@ThePoliticalHat) February 24, 2016
— Josh Smith (@Ebolamerican) February 23, 2016
— Peter Ingemi (@DaTechGuyblog) February 26, 2016
— Christi Junior (@ChristiJunior) February 20, 2016
It's fascinating what people will call "an attack on free speech," "censorship," and "trying to silence" – and what they won't.
— Melissa A. Fabello (@fyeahmfabello) February 20, 2016
— Fuck Campus Feminism (@DateOffCampus) February 27, 2016
— Instapundit.com (@instapundit) February 24, 2016
— Public Status (@public_status) February 25, 2016
— Flynn (@FlynnsTake) February 27, 2016
What a strange irony it is, that I am the Last Sane Man in America.
+ o + o +
— Aleister (@AmericanGlob) February 23, 2016
— Tim Hediger (@trhediger) February 23, 2016
The #FreeStacy movement, a grassroots response to Twitter’s Feb. 19 decision to suspend my popular @rsmccain account, has received international attention. You can help support this movement by including the #FreeStacy hashtag on your Twitter messages, by retweeting messages in support of this movement, and by signing up at PublicStatus.org, which is dedicated to defending free speech rights on social media. Thanks to everyone who has helped spread the word.
- Feb. 20: The #FreeStacy Story: Why Was My @rsmccain Account Suspended?
- Feb. 21: #FreeStacy: ‘A Girl’s Name’
- Feb. 22: #FreeStacy: @rsmccain ‘Will Not Be Restored’; @SexTroubleBook Suspended
- Feb. 22: The Hateful Lies of Feminism
- Feb. 23: What @FemFreq Didn’t Say
- Feb. 23: The #FreeStacy Protest Continues
- Feb. 24: #FreeStacy: Have You Mentioned @srhbutts Lately? Perhaps You Should
- Feb. 25: #FreeStacy: Does @Twitter @Support Child-Porn Defender @AlisonRapp?
- Feb. 25: #FreeStacy: Why Won’t @Jack Make @Twitter Stop Harassing @PaxDickinson?
- Feb. 26: Feminist Hates White Heterosexual Men